Is this normal?

@OCDinparadise I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like a small thing to me even when I’ve been told that I needed to let it go but I can’t. I have a really hard time ever being able to forgive myself when I so easily forgive others

@Just Breathe ❤️ Of course it doesn’t we are our biggest critics. Even if it was a big mistake, that fact that you feel bad for it speaks volumes. You do deserve love, we all do. At the end of day we just want to be decent people. Why should we shit on people who are just trying to do good?

@OCDinparadise I understand. I’ve been told so many times by multiple people that I need to “stop being hard on myself”, “stop punishing yourself don’t you think you’ve punished yourself enough” and so on and it’s like if people who know me (my mom knows everything and she’s said this along with my therapist and even my dad before he passed) say those things, how come I can’t do what they say? How is it so easy for them to say to move on from something that seems so terrible to me. I feel like if I were to move on and forgive myself, I would be letting myself off the hook when I should be worried and keep punishing myself until the day I die. It’s a never ending nightmare for me. I’m so scared of the “what ifs”. I appreciate it very much thank you for helping and responding. I hope maybe I can get some mental clarity one day

@Just Breathe ❤️ When I read your post, I saw me and I feel terrible that you’re feeling that way because I know exactly how you feel. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way and I wish it could just go away so you can be at peace. But I know it’s hard to just let things go, but again OCD is a BITCH to deal with. I miss my old self, I can’t even recognize myself anymore. The constant nagging and doubt my head is filled with hurts so much. I’m sorry for going on a tangent there. Please find the courage to fight it. Do something you wouldn’t normally do. If the thoughts make you wake up in the middle of night, instead of trying to sleep stay up go for a walk or idk write a stupid poem about mayo idk. Anything that is out of the norm for you do it. Talk to yourself out loud, to a mirror if you’d like and tell yourself “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you”. It’s silly but try it. You’re not the monster, OCD is the monster. Please take care of yourself as well alright?

@OCDinparadise I’m so sorry you are going through this too. I don’t wish it on anyone. Sometimes I feel like I’m the exception and I don’t deserve treatment or happiness like everyone here does including you. I hope we all make it through this. I’ve changed so much in the past few years and it’s like I’m still stuck on the years I don’t want to be apart of anymore but the ocd won’t let me. I definitely felt the same way about wanting my life to be different so I decided to go back to college and get a degree in art to become a graphic designer. It’s hard because I feel like I don’t deserve to be in college and to be happy but it’s what I’m pushing myself to do so life doesn’t pass me by. It’s hard to even look at myself in the mirror but I’ve had moments where I felt completely broken and just looked at myself crying and wondering why everything feels so wrong and scary. I appreciate your help and I hope you feel better too. We are in this together. As much as we feel so alone sometimes it’s important to know that I’m not the only one going through this. My heart goes out to anyone feeling the way we do. I don’t wish it on anyone. It’s mental hell. But anyways you take care as well and if you ever need to talk just reach out here and I will help the best way I can 🙏🏻

@Just Breathe ❤️ We will get through this! I really appreciate your kindness and the same goes for you. If you need to talk, I’ll be more than happy to listen.

@OCDinparadise 🙂🙏🏻