- Date posted
- 3y
My rocd currently
I just want to feel the same with my boyfriend that I used too. I just randomly woke up with this one day and it’s tormented me ever since. I just want to be able to be happy again. I miss my life before all this. I just want to be with my boyfriend and not have thoughts like “what if I don’t love him” “what if we have to break up” “what if we never feel the same again” or constantly feeling the need to see if it still feels “right” when we kiss or cuddle. Or sometimes I’ll want to surprise my boyfriend with small gifts to just show how much I love him, but my heads like “you’re just doing this to convince yourself you still love him”. I just miss everything the way it was before this. Will i ever get to just love him and not have thoughts like this again???? I feel so lost. I just wish my life wasn’t like this, it’s made me cut myself off from everyone. And of course right when I start to feel better, my head just convinces me that it is only getting better because I now realized I don’t want to be with him. I just wish this never would have happened to me. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t want to have to lose him because my ocd is telling me it’s the only way the thoughts will go away.