I keep seeing people say that they thought they had intrusive thoughts about their sexuality and ended up being with the same sex and it’s really triggering me. I don’t want to end up with another woman. I only want to be with men. I’m scared that my thoughts aren’t intrusive thoughts. Please help
It just bothers me when people say that stuff because it’s clearly not OCD but they say they think it was. Idk. I’m scared, I don’t want to be Bi or gay, I only want men. It makes me feel like I’m lying to myself and that’s even more frustrating. Like idk what to believe anymore.
@Stuckinmyheadwaves Had a bad brake down yesterday where it became a statement and I felt calm then started to panic so I’m freaking out
It's hard to say because sometimes I think that too. I think 🤔 this person might be just gay. Then I ask more questions and usually it's always that they don't want to have sex with the same sex and for me that creates a problem with the "gay relationship" right? So that means OCD is running a train through their mindscape. I try not to judge as we really shouldn't but sometimes as you say, my brains like... Their gay for sure. I'm bisexual myself and I never felt it was negative or a compulsion because to me love is infinite and this world could do with more love. So for these folks to go through a mental attack with physical sensation is intensely scary. For me, creating a roadmap, helped me get back to who I am fairly quickly. I go through manic periods and without these guidelines I'm left in shame. I see hear feel smell my triggers so it can be overwhelming and always distressing.
@Jemma2 How can I redeem myself I feel into a compulsion and check if me get me on because I’m starting to believe I’m actually gay and the thought is less scary and I’m freaking out about it
@I got noting You experimented and it didn't feel bad? Or you acted on an impulse and you feel bad about giving into the impulse vs seeing the person as a complex soul with feelings of intimacy and passion? My perception is limited in this arena as I am a bisexual person. My brother is gay but he experimented early as most children do and he found he was gay. We grew up ultra religious, like skirts to the floor and long hair kinda cult upbringing, so he didn't feel comfortable being gay because he would be disowned but ultimately he decided he would nuture this part of who he truly was and now he's married and very happy. Redemption is finding fault in what you did and picking yourself up again to return to your ethical understandings. I create boundaries, guidelines, principles, standards, ethical reasonings and goals to help me when I get distressed with OCD. As you know under duress no "choices" should be made. We live in a toxic society where everything is "right now". This is not natural. We should reserve the time and space to be familiar with our inner selves. Love yourself enough to understand your going through something and you need to rework your roadmap. What type of goal would you like to set? Well first you should understand the person your making the goal for. That would be you. Be patient and kind to this person as they are struggling with a perceived mistake. Whether it was or wasn't will be up to your future self to decide but for now forgive yourself and repurpose your energy to getting to know who you are. Focus on you and your energy in this world. What are you willing to abandon to reach your goals. This is a big one as well. But for now just sitting with the uncertainty and understanding that it will pass. As all things do.
@Jemma2 I didn’t grow up in a super religious house hold also my brother is gay but for me I try to see a life and I can’t imagine it and when I look at men on the street I don’t feel anything just mentally and some of my friends that I have I don’t feel anything
@Jemma2 I didn’t get any sexual stimulation so I didn’t see them as a person
@I got noting Then it's safe to say you crossed a ethical boundary and what do we do with mistakes we don't want to repeat? We make plans and review triggers, we talk and communicate with partners especially if sexual healthcare is at stake here.( Women and men who contract HPV are at a higher risk for multiple forms of cancer. Over 46,000 forms) We set boundaries for these situations and embrace standards of care to manage our impulses as they present themselves. OCD is terrible because it makes you believe in the impulse. It's the shame that follows that let's you know, you let yourself down.
I want to be to with my girlfriend to I’m scare I feel your pain
@I got noting I want to be with my girlfriend also lol it’s terrible worst pain ever , I feel like being in a relationship also makes the HOCD spiral more, so pretty much the way I’ve been looking at is regardless on what thoughts and images I get I’m still going to be with my girl and treat her as I would normally
I’m in the same boat, it’s very frustrating when your mind tries convincing you of something else when you know exactly what you want.
If I'm not seeing my partner, then I'm not with my partner and I need to stop. This goes for when we are together as well. The OCD clouds my mind and no longer do I see my partner, rather I see a tool to fix this urge. I stop what I'm doing because I don't want to be that person. That's not my goal.
@Jemma2 To be honest I see my girlfriend I see a person I can relate to I can let my guard down I can love because she can love me the same despite her pain and my ocd I don’t see her as a sex object I left her before because I didn’t know this was ocd I thought I was turning gay but then it went away came back to her seven years later everything going good till the thought came back up by saying my friend is a good looking dude
@Jemma2 Is there a place we can talk just us like Snapchat or something
@I can do this Y’all could incdlie me jzepedaa4 insta or jzepedaa3 Snapchat
@I can do this Include
@jzepedaa7 Added you on Snapchat man
My ocd tells me im bi bc of a porn mistake
@I can do this My b it’s josezepedaa3
@Anonnymous I feel you 100 percent I’ve been telling myself regardless of thoughts or images ima choose to love and make my girl happy . My ocd has associated penises when I try to imagine women private parts which makes it hard to not believe you are gay but then I think I’m sure gay people don’t imagine women with penises as boobs 😂 also hard to get hard when you constantly picturing penises everywhere and you don’t like them . I’ve tried watching gay porn I couldn’t watch it for more then 5 seconds . Have tried accepting the fact I’m gay didn’t make me want to talk to a guy or get with a guy . Have had scenarios where I’m kissing older ugly men which if I was gay I probably wouldn’t go for them anyways . It’s just a whole big mind fuck
@Anonnymous We feel this pain but we shouldn’t give up we gotta fight it I was spiraling down and it may feel like we’re living a lie but it’s not it’s just a thought
@Anonnymous Straight women watch gay porn, it’s actually really common.
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.
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