Advice Needed: School or Residential Treatment

Hi, I need advice. I'm a 21 year old college student, turning 22 in November. If I go back to school this year, I will only be a sophomore by credits, with no progress toward my degree. For 5 years I've suffered from off-the-charts-severe OCD, with 30+ obsessions, and hundreds, if not thousands, of compulsions. I have not been able to function whatsoever for 5 years, despite being a 4.0 student before my condition worsened. I'm beginning to truly understand and accept that all of my problems are a result of this disorder, including my severe depression, and my social anxiety. I have trialed 30+ medications, brain stimulation, years of therapy (NOT ERP), partial hospitalization (NOT ERP), and inpatient hospitalization (NOT ERP). None have been effective. I could return to school with this new understanding & acceptance, working vigorously on an outpatient basis; OR, could enroll in residential inpatient treatment specifically for OCD, with lots of ERP—for the first time. I would prefer to return to school; I am impassioned by learning, and independence from my family, and would love so dearly to begin my adult life and earn my degree in physics. However, I am concerned, despite my newfound acceptance & understanding, that my return will be the same story as the entirety of my college career thus far: an incapacity to engage in school due to obnoxiously profound OCD. In other words, if I were to go back now, I'd be vigorously working on ERP, on an outpatient basis, but I'd essentially be starting at school with no guarantee that my efforts toward vanquishing OCD will be effective. My alternative option is to enroll in residential inpatient treatment and fully conquer my OCD, once and, hopefully, for all. Afterward, I would begin my adult life with more propensity to succeed and heightened vigor. However, I would need to accept a tainted college transcript (very difficult and saddening to me, having a history being a 4.0 student, and with some degree of perfectionism OCD); I would need to accept that I am not able to retake the classes I failed, because it would be irrational to wait one more year (next fall) to take those classes, when they're offered, instead of jumping straight into my college career after residential treatment. This is furthermore difficult because I plan to go to graduate school. I don't trust admission counselors' goodness-at-heart to overlook my profound challenges for the first 3 years of my college degree; I've had my heart set on Ivy universities my whole life, and I'm 100% certain if they would overlook my challenges, I'd succeed tremendously. Thank you for your advice.

anonymous700

Date posted: 2y

I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s such a challenging and stressful decision. You are by far intelligent beyond words. In my opinion, if you have the means and the opportunity to take on this disability, do it. Take advantage of the option towards treating your OCD. One thing I’m learning in life is that the things you want will always be there….I work at a daycare and we often read a book called Pete the Cat and his four buttons (something like that). At the end of the book it says “buttons come and buttons go, uess it simply goes to show that stuff will come and stuff will go. But do we cry? Goodness, NO! We keep on singing” (it goes something like that)…anyways…the point is…go ahead cry, be sad but remember to keep singing. Remember that school will always be there. You are smart and you are capable of going back to school at any time and succeeding at anything you put your heart into. Sing the song of life! What’s important right now is to get the help you need in order for you to learn how to live your life with ocd…it may not ever go away, but learn to flow with the changes. You are going to do amazing things. I hope this response wasn’t at all confusing but I truly am touched by your writing.

Alexanderpalw

Date posted: 2y

Hi, thank you so much for your kind comments. I decided to go back to school after residential treatment; it's the most realistic option for me. Yes, absolutely, life has a way of revealing itself to you–even if at first rejected–to be on your side–if you listen. I will cry, but I will sing afterward :). I hope you do the same throughout life, when you need to.

littlemiss.s...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 22w

Thriving in School with OCD: The Power of Support and Accommodations

When I started therapy with NOCD, I was stuck in a debilitating OCD spiral, feeling lost and alone. ERP changed my life—it wasn’t easy, but it helped me resist compulsions and sit with uncertainty. Even when I had to pause therapy to move for my Master’s degree in the UK, the tools I learned stayed with me. NOCD not only helped me manage my OCD symptoms but also gave me the confidence to take on one of the biggest changes of my life. As a Master’s student, OCD made completing assignments incredibly difficult. I developed compulsions that forced me to reread and rewrite endlessly, making deadlines stressful. After speaking with my advisor, I applied for an Individual Learning Plan, which provided accommodations like extended deadlines. Knowing I had that flexibility lifted the pressure and allowed me to do my best work—I finished my degree with Merit, close to a 3.8 GPA. If you’re a student struggling with OCD, know that support is available, and it’s okay to ask for help. What strategies or accommodations have helped you succeed in school while managing OCD?

Students with OCD

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21w

Without therapy for months . Please help. Please

I had to cancel my therapy because it was no longer available with my insurance. And I just kind of feel hopeless with OCD. Even when I was doing therapy, I think my OCD started getting too complicated for my therapist and she didn’t even know what to do. My fears are so complex it’s crazy. So my big fear is my OCD being bad and being super depressed again like I was a few months ago in high school. I attended a public highschool for a semester and started the worst flare up I’ve ever had. I was harshly bullied for no reason whatsoever, and not accepted by anyone. I am an athletic kid who usually keeps to himself so I didn’t understand why people targeted me, especially when I wanted nothing to do with them. From August to now ( March) I CANNOT grasp hold of my OCD. I am very hard on myself about it. Going into dangers anytime I see one so I can expose myself. But constantly obsessing about if I’m doing enough for my OCD. And comparing myself to how I use to be, before the flare ups. From the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep I’m obsessing about my OCD and if it’s bad and comparing. Another HUGE fear of mine is being treated differently because I have OCD. So being bullied for so long I always assumed it was because I was shy and didn’t want to stand up for myself - due to my OCD- so I blamed myself for everything that continued to happen, . from people bullying me in the past . The people at that highschool were downright crazy. Even the teachers and coaches had major issues and I’m so glad to be out of there, but I still obsess the same everyday and hold so much resentment for that school and when I try to let it go, I just feel more passive pain and obsess even more about it weather my ocd is okay or not. I feel mentally sick. Please someone give me some advice for my fears, because I feel like I’m doing everything in my power to expose myself to everything but nothings working.

Adi7

Date posted: 17w

Advice please ❤️

Hi ❤️ I’m really struggling right now I’m in my sophomore year of Highschool and I’ve finally started planning or thinking abt my future (for context I was extremely depressed and suicidal from 6-9th grade) After conquering my depression this is a huge leap for me and I’m proud of myself ❤️ But there’s something still holding me down :( and I’m not sure what to do anymore that thing is OCD. Since 6th grade I have had strong and invasive intrusive thoughts all the time they scare me so bad and make me feel as though I’m not even real anymore :( I’m sick of taking the time to do ridiculous compulsions to rid or ease these thoughts it’s a waste of time and energy and it hurts me so bad I feel like I will never get to just live my life without this :( How can I plan my future when I can’t even find myself in this mess of anxiety 💔 I’m so tired of fighting my mental health it’s been years from anxiety attacks to sh to survived suicide attempts (I got help dw❤️‍🩹) and recovery there. Just to be thrown into a storm of awful scary sickening thoughts day and night-when can I just be a normal teenager and possibly a happy adult? How do I conquer this so I can love myself to the fullest and live my life free and happy? :( ❤️❤️‍🩹 I’m so scared to talk to my parents about it I’m ashamed of my thoughts and every time I bring it up they just say I shouldn’t be diagnosing myself or it’s just ADHD. It really really hurts me they have no idea how awful this feels and it makes me feel so alone sometimes 💔

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