Guys, i have been really doing amazing for a few weeks then all of a sudden, i get the thought in my head that this is all a lie and i need to leave my wife. I know not to play the "what if" game but what if this is true? i need help to try and get over this hump and back to living.
Please fight the urge ! You know it’s OCD creeping on you again I know it feels like dying , but please be strong
accept the uncertainty. maybe it is a lie. oh well. then go back to enjoying your life with your wife. try to be as present in the moments even when being around her can cause intense anxiety. focus on the words in your conversations, focus on the tv you are watching together. accept your thoughts for what they are, thoughts. thoughts do not have meaning until we give them meaning. you can do this. resist your physical compulsions. for my rocd i just say “i dont need to figure this out right now” or “ill think about how i feel about them at (random time) and return my focus to something else. more than not the time i set for myself passes and its been hours since ive had the original thought, sometimes only minutes. and then i just do it again
Lately, I’ve been struggling with feelings that I might be sabotaging myself in my relationship. By sabotage, I mean that I find it hard to stop engaging in compulsions, like seeking reassurance or overanalyzing my thoughts. I also sometimes behave badly with my boyfriend, and the intrusive thoughts I have can completely change my mood. I love my boyfriend—he’s such a good, beautiful, and wonderful person—but I’m afraid these thoughts are going to ruin things. I truly want to love him, but I’m scared. I know the thoughts are anxiety-driven, but they still make me question if I’m forcing myself to stay with him. Today, for example, I felt okay earlier, but when he called me on video, I suddenly felt like I didn’t feel anything, and I started thinking I don’t like how he looks. These thoughts hit me like a wave, and I panicked. Usually, I find him very attractive, but when these thoughts come, I feel sad and disconnected. What’s confusing is that I also have many moments—like today and in the past few days—where I’ve felt really good and I’ve felt love for him. I feel awful writing this because my boyfriend doesn’t deserve this, and I feel like I’m posting out of habit. It makes me scared that I don’t want to accept the truth, even though I know I care about him. I hate feeling this way because it feels like I’m betraying him by having these thoughts and posting them. Has anyone else dealt with these feelings of sabotaging their relationship or feeling like they’re forcing themselves to stay? How do you cope when the thoughts feel like they’re true, and how do you work through the fear of letting go of anxiety
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
Does anyone else experience a moment of clarity where you feel strong relief that the intrusive thought isn’t true, only to then immediately start questioning if you’ve only convinced yourself that because you don’t want the thought to be true? I’m pretty confident it would take some crazy mental gymnastics to actually successfully convince myself I didn’t do something that I deep down knew I did, but every time I resist the compulsions and try to sit with the uncertainty or tell myself to think about what is logical, I usually briefly know that this probably didn’t happen but am unable to move on out of fear I’m just in denial and have convinced myself of that.
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