Free will and mind/body obsession

I accidentally discovered the free will debate when I was in a bad place mentally, and I cannot stop obsessing over it. It’s been making me physically ill. I’ve also just felt 100% insane. Like, if there’s no free will, how do I even begin to fight back over the obsession? How do I take control? And when I try to believe in free will to escape, that loops me back into the obsessive cycle. I’m just so lost. I hate this so much.

Existential OCD

Username: Phillip91Phillip91

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey Alec, you’re in good company. I was going through a very difficult time and got stuck on the idea of “a thought is just a thought.” For some reason the idea that I didn’t control all of my thoughts terrified me and made me question every dream, desire, and thing that I loved. It was horrible. It’s actually what led me ti discover that I had OCD. I’ve been working really hard on my existential OCD and the good days are getting better and the bad days are getting shorter. I can tell you that the honest answer is we’ll never know the answers to the questions we seek, so the solution is to stop engaging with the question. Every time I acknowledge the question as an intrusive thought and move on, I feel like my old self. It’s only when I go down the rabbit hole that I feel horrible and terrified again. Our OCD is lying to us and trying to trick us into believing that free will and existential questions are something that is life and death - which is why it feels so urgent and painful to not have an answer. We can retrain the fear center of our brain to stop bothering us with this impossible question and regain our life again. Hang in there! We can do it!

Username: Dee CDee C

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you both for a very interesting discussion.

Username: Phillip91Phillip91

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Dee C Of course! We all have different strategies for learning to work with our OCD. I love chatting with other people to see what works for them :)

Username: Alec123Alec123

Date posted: 2y ago

I think the very fact that I can try to fight back is proof enough that I have choice, if I let it be.

Username: Phillip91Phillip91

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Alec123 I’d take it one step further and don’t even settle on an answer. It’s so difficult and uncomfortable, and I’m still stumbling as I learn to live this new mindset - but recovery lies in not even settling on an answer. Maybe we have free will, maybe we don’t. But what is true is you’ll be happier not debating the question with yourself. OCD unfortunately doesn’t reason with logic haha. No matter what answer you have, it’ll throw another doubt your way. OCD is trying to protect you by making it feel real so you focus on finding a solution to the problem, but it’s just a false signal. Are you doing ERP to help?

Username: Phillip91Phillip91

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

When you do ERP it’ll be one of the most liberating experiences of your life because you’ll be proving to your OCD that you are in control - not your anxiety and fear. In essence you’ll be proving your own free will! Because your OCD certainly wants you to stay in bed and to keep second guessing your existence. When you choose not to engage you prove who’s the boss. For me, the ultimate answer to the free will question is learning to live my life the way I want to despite being uncomfortable and afraid. If we do that enough, eventually we won’t feel afraid anymore and we’ll enjoy life again. I hope that helps!

Username: Alec123Alec123

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you, it does help. I appreciate you taking time to respond to me.

Username: Phillip91Phillip91

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Alec123 Anytime Alec! We’re all in this together. We’ve got this!

Username: Alec123Alec123

Date posted: 2y ago

That makes sense. I know I’ll never have a definitive answer. There will always be someone out there with a counterpoint. I think it’s okay to know I won’t ever have the answer for everyone. But I also feel like I have to grant myself at least the power to control my own life to some extent. And what is that but free will? My challenge is to stop searching for counterpoints, either through research or just in my own mind. And just live. I have yet to start ERP, but I should be starting soon.

Username: mummers

Date posted: 5y ago

I just had a moment of big panic because I keep having obsessions about reality and how is it possible that I’m able to perceive it. You know when you say a word out loud way too many times, and it starts losing its meaning and sounds weird? Same thing happens to me with reality. Sometimes it gets so intense, it makes me wanna vomit or feel like I’ll faint. I just don’t understand existence and everything feels so weird. I can’t get over it. This is my worst obsession :(

"Pure" OCD

Username: jenagade

Date posted: 5y ago

Not looking for reassurance, just venting about how stupid OCD gets. Having a wild time with existential OCD at the moment. It started with me obsessing about what is going on in other people's minds. Not that I want to know what they are thinking, just how they are thinking - what it's like inside a head without OCD, is it quieter? Is that why other people like daydreaming and getting lost in thought? Then all of that philosophising lead me down a bad path and now my OCD is trying really hard to convince me that nothing exists outside my line of sight, the horizon is just an elaborate drawing and behind it is a black void. Obviously I know that's just ridiculous but it's hard not to feel like I'm losing my mind when I know that there is a world beyond my current line of sight but my OCD brain is trying it's hardest to convince me that there's not. Usually when existential obsessions come up it's because I'm going through a major life event but that's not the case right now so it beats me why this particular brand of obsessions has made an appearance again. Oh well.

Username: woahman

Date posted: 2y ago

Do u believe that you can control the mind or not?

So ist just about ocd, I think I have a really bad anxiety right now about this topic. So i used to believe that i cant control my mind and i have to accept every thought but deep down it made me feel like a victim that i always have to accept how i feel and what i think, theres no other way... one day i had enough of this, because i saw that others who are doing this for years are still having the same thoughts, and i still felt bad and had the same thoughts to and i decided that i will find something else. So i found a good youtuve channel where they teach you that youre the creator of your emotions and you can control your mind. I learned that i have anxiety and low moods cause i have negative beliefs about myself and the world which i need to change then these feelings will not be strong. It helped so much and i saw that its better then just observing it and moving on, bc you actually see the problem and not avoid it. It helped me alot. Then today i had a negative emotions and i started to see what im telling myself, what thoughts i have, and this time i actually got lost in my mind. Or as others said i got into the rabbit hole of negative thinking. And i couldnt get out and i was so desperate that this isnt helping me either... Trying to control your mind and change beliefs just makes me more stressed, but just accepting it and moving on still will not help,cause i will still will have the thoughts and emotions without knowing why i constantly have it. What do yall think, are you the creater of your emotions, can you control the mind or not?

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Free will and mind/body obsession

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