ADHD

I identify as a straight female, and I really want to talk someone. I have SOOCD and I have a partner and I don't know if my struggles are common or if I'm alone. I'm really scared and I feel so lonely.

I got diagnosed with adhd about 2 months ago, I started vyvanse and it was amazing at first. So much motivation, ocd intrusive thoughts were easier to let go and would not consume me nearly as much. But then about a few weeks ago I started noticing I was getting super irritable, anxious, intrusive thoughts taking over again. I had already gone up and down to try and tweak the right dose for me so I know it wasn’t the dose. So I stopped a few days ago, and all of that instantly subsided. I feel like I’m back to square one:( I do take Prozac, only 20mg becuase I have to slowly increase to reduce side effects but it does help me a lot. I still want to take adhd meds though because I’m back to feeling unmotivated. Has this happened to anyone else on stimulants? What did you end up having to try instead?

I’ve had the feeling I had ocd ever since I found out about it at the age of eleven, I don’t want to self diagnose thought but I want to find out and I would ask a professional but I am a minor and live with my parents, my family is not from America and any disorder even stuff like depression or anxiety means crazy to them so I’m scared to talk abt it to anybody. Ever since I was like 7 I noticed that if something happens or I feel something in one part of my body I immediately have to do it to the other cause it just won’t feel right, as a kid I even explained it to my parents in the car once and asked if they feel like that sometimes too. I used the example of me accidentally touching water on one foot and then having to do it to the other or else it just isn’t fair to the other foot and I’m like evil. It’s also like that for me if I like hit my arm then I have to do it to the other too. I have many other symptoms of OCD but idk if I actually have it. For example every-time somebody leaves me on read or something I feel like they hate me and don’t wanna be friends with me anymore. Idk it just feels so weird sometimes. Also sometimes when I’m writing something maybe for school or anywhere I always have to reconsider every single sentence because what if somebody takes it the wrong way or it makes somebody mad. And sometimes I feel like the rudest and meanest person in the world. I actually don’t know if that’s an ocd thing idk at this point. edit: after thinking some other things that could be a sign of ocd might be when I was about ten or nine, for about a year I had the biggest fear of losing my mom, it came out of nowhere and I would cry begging not to go to school because my mom won’t be there bc what if she dies. I cried at tennis practice once even tho I toke it with my mom because she went to the bathroom. I was genuinely so scared idk what made it go away tho. Like whenever I had a thought of her it would immediately make me think she’s dying and I would just sob. tysm for reading!! 💕💕