- Date posted
- 2y
Can hocd can change your sexuality??
Like i think that we can't fully change but a slight shift can happen with hocd...guys this the worst theme ever...i want to be 100% straight.
Like i think that we can't fully change but a slight shift can happen with hocd...guys this the worst theme ever...i want to be 100% straight.
one time i spent a day crying because i genuinely thought i didn't like my bf enough and thought we should break up because he tried a parfume and i didn't felt anything (no sparkle) smelling it on himšš Another one i felt the worst person ever because my cat mieowed me in a strange way.. i spent hours triggered at the possibility that "what if my cat will hate me growing up" and checking every possible scenarios š
OCD can really trick you, but no, sexuality can positively absolutely not change. I used to have HOCD real bad. I would notice attractive things on guys, but those would be the same qualities I could appreciate on a girl. For instance, I would notice a guy would have pretty eyes, but a girl with the same pretty eyes would also be attractive. OCD can distort reality and make you think you're gay. Meds help a bunch. Get on an SSRI, it will give you your life back.
Ocd can make us think everything šš š
Nobody will ever 100% straight
There are people out there 100% straight tho... Unfortunately for them haha
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that itās most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like Iāve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I donāt feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. Iāve never felt this weirded out. Because Iāve always been straight and still believe I am but Iāve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I donāt believe Iām gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I donāt hate the idea of gay people but I canāt imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I havenāt really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didnāt last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. Iāve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. Iāve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I donāt want this. But I hate how I canāt just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It wonāt quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. Iām lonely I donāt have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe Iām straight and I just canāt see myself with a guy. It just doesnāt feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because thatās where I can have peace of self. It sucks but Iām so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I canāt even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but Iām scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldnāt ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes Iām religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. Iāve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. Iāve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But itās still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I donāt suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I donāt wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
Like I canāt think straight. This is making me doubt everything Iāve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I donāt. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go āoh so you like it you must be gayā or the other one where Iām not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that Iāve had my whole life and my mind goes āsee now youāre not into them youāre gayā like itās so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or āa thing of the pastā. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and itās so weird. Today Iāve spent my whole day thinking about it like Iāve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just wonāt let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
I wanted to voice that homosexuals can get HOCD too. I remember when i was younger and knew i was gay i still got HOCD one time when watching The Office. I thought Pam was so pretty and then started doubting my whole identity because what if i am straight? Oh god, what a terror if i was heterosexual. But anyway, thought that maybe this would help heteros with HOCD by knowing that this is a universal symptom across OCD sufferers of all sexual orientations. A big problem is calling this subtype āHomosexual OCD,ā because its not. It has nothing to do with being homo or hetero or bi or anything. Its just OCD being a bully. I think labelling subtypes is an issue altogether, as it can unconsciously make people feel like its not just OCD. But it is. Does this make any sense? What are yallās thoughts on this? Or is this just my OCD talking? (Im not seeking reassurance just genuinely find this interesting) TLDR; each time we āqualifyā OCD with a subtype, we reinforce that the subtype is part of the issue. In reality, OCD is just a broken loop in our brains, and thoughts are just thoughts. And Pam Beesly is a hottie.
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