feeling guilty that I didn’t have the ‘spark’

@NoRocd1991 can you answer in my questions?

@mrgg11 Of course

@mrgg11 I 100% agree with @mrgg11, reassurance is what we crave but we have to remind ourselves it makes it worst even if at the time it feels like all you need is to hear ‘ you love them etc’ you think one comment will resolve your anxiety but actually you’ll keep craving more and more reassurance it will never be enough and it won’t actually solve the ocd it will just dig a deeper hole. Also agree not to Google relationship advice, I was ‘cured’ from ROCD for a few weeks because I followed the advice of not googling about relationships and seeking g advice of online forums and it made a huge difference but I have in a few days ago and spiraled into researching relationships online and it made my ROCD come back stronger than ever.

@Tillyyyx Anytime you feel the need for reassurance do something to require the use of your hands and keeps you busy. Reading, games. Hell, picking up sticks outside. Something. Replace the unhealthy mechanism with a healthier one

@NoRocd1991 Good plan! I bought an adult colouring book which helps 😊 I feel like it’s the same as people who are recovering addicts going through rehab like for us the addiction is reassurance and googling and we just have to cope with not relapsing and staying strong !

@NoRocd1991 Sorry I meant to say I 100% agreed with your comment to @mrgg11* it was well said :)

@Tillyyyx That’s exactly how my therapist put it. Reassurance is nothing but a drug and once you get that first hit you’ll want more and more! Best of luck to you. You got his

@Anonymous Over 2 years

@Tillyyyx Maybe you're reflecting on the honeymoon phase of your relationship? Relationships become really calm after a while, they lose excitement because you're used to them and you've been with them a while. You know you love him so much, so that's all you need to focus on in my olinion

@Anonymous can you gelp me about rocd?

@Anonymous Well we never had a clear ‘honeymoon phase’ I think I need to stop focusing on the past too much, it’s like I felt very stretched and emotionally connected to him very early on and knew I didn’t want to lose him but I never had that firey attraction

@Tillyyyx Attached *

@mrgg11 Yes I’m happy to help you as much as I can , what’s up 😊

@Tillyyyx Yeah okay, well people love in different ways so maybe you're just not intensly emotional when it comes to love and attraction? Which is a good thing in my opinion

@Tillyyyx i loved her so much 2 months and my feelings step by step like got away because of hocd does it mean that hocd and rocd are hiding my love to her or?Im not excited to go with her anymore out but i fifht hard my feelings are vary i sont know what to do i dont want to lose my beautiful girl because she love me so much

@Anonymous The thing is I generally am, I have felt that intense attraction with random people before , but I know for a fact I love my boyfriend far more than any of these people and I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. It just feels a shame I couldn’t have felt that with him, I am attracted to my boyfriend but it’s not that same feeling .

@mrgg11 I believe the fact that you’re upset and scared to lose your girlfriend says a lot about how much you value her ! If you want to make it work, try to see love as a choice and focus on making her happy, I believe this can be a form of self sabotage with all the intrusive thoughts , because we are scared of getting too vulnerable with the person we love

@Anonymous any help here?

@mrgg11 Oh sorry my bad 😂

@Tillyyyx but my hocd growns up when i didnt have erection thst night because i was stressed and i said am i gay or why is this happening because hwen i touched i got anxiouty but i love her so much and idk like i dont feel anything

@Tillyyyx no this helped me s lot

@mrgg11 I know how hard all of this is 🙁 have you been able to chat to a therapist ?

@mrgg11 I Will try not to reassure too much because I know it doesn’t help ocd! I think much of these thoughts can be controlled through our mindset but it’s very hard with ocd

@Tillyyyx what you think?

@mrgg11 @NoRocd1991 here

@mrgg11 You’re saying you love her. You’re obviously upset over all of this which means you care greatly, which is why the OCD is attacking it so incredibly hard. Stop going by the rules the internet, and Hollywood tells you. Keep loving your partner. And about the HOCD, it’s the same as your ROCD. You care immensely about your partner, so of course your ocd is gonna attack your sexuality as well. This is all an attempt for OCD to isolate you and sabotage what you love. I struggle with ROCD too bud. Just remember you aren’t alone.

@NoRocd1991 does that mean im gay?

@mrgg11 Maybe, maybe not. That’s the mindset you need to defeat this.

@NoRocd1991 why everybody is telling me this in this question?

@mrgg11 Because the only way to beat this is to accept uncertainty

@NoRocd1991 did it hapoens to you ever?

@mrgg11 Rocd happens to me everyday. You’re seeking reassurance at this point my man

@NoRocd1991 so its bad?

@mrgg11 Stop reassurance seeking. Run towards the anxiety, not away from it. The more you run away, the worse it’s gonna get

@NoRocd1991 thank you bro

@mrgg11 I’m not trying to ignore your questions, but me feeding you reassurance is just gonna make you worse man. I’m struggling too. Everytime I think of my woman I feel sheer and utter anxiety, and dread. You gotta sit with it. Let it pass okay bro? You got this. The more you try not to feel these things, the more they’re gonna stick to ya bud. Stop looking for answers on the internet too. It’s only gonna make it worse. Don’t take any relationship advice. You are your partners relationship is unique. Don’t let any outside force mess with that