- Username
- JBird88
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I’m so scared of death!
? I feel like it’s not that easy to just live.... I literally feel myself in the dying panic mode of what it will feel like to die and I’m in a panic
If it helps, I’m not feeling great today either due to this existential crap. I had a weird dream in which I had a month to live, and at the end it all just went black. Then I woke up. I fear I have been reborn or something! But I’m trying my hardest to not figure it out and just let it be. We can imagine how it’d feel to die OR we can simply wait until our time is here and then experience it. In the meantime, we can try our best to live life according to our values and do the things we live and enjoy!
Yes!!! Last night I just had the worst panic attack because I just felt like “what if I don’t want to live anymore” and like “what if death is better than being alive” and I just felt horrible and like I was actually thinking ... “Is this what I want” ??
But I try to make peace with it :)
It’s okay! Just remember, some things don’t NEED to be known. I suffered for a while with existential related thoughts but at the end of it, I reached the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter. Whether my existence is real or not, it doesn’t have to stop me from doing the things I love. Why should I waste my entire life asking unanswerable questions when I could just simply live? Just accept the uncertainty
I just had a moment of big panic because I keep having obsessions about reality and how is it possible that I’m able to perceive it. You know when you say a word out loud way too many times, and it starts losing its meaning and sounds weird? Same thing happens to me with reality. Sometimes it gets so intense, it makes me wanna vomit or feel like I’ll faint. I just don’t understand existence and everything feels so weird. I can’t get over it. This is my worst obsession :(
Some days I just feel weird. Life feels weird. I think it happens when I over think what I’m doing too much. It feels like I’m on the brink of a panic attack but I don’t know why. It’s a very weird feeling.
I’m so tired of thinking and thinking and finding new reasons to worry and new old memories to overthink and obsess about and moralize, it’s so exhausting and scary and it makes me distrust everyone around me and even myself. It’s like I everything and everyone needs to be questioned and interrogated and put into a good or bad bucket. I’m just so tired I don’t want to think anymore :( I want to turn my brain off.
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