I feel like crying. When something dirty touches something else and that something else touched another thing and that thing touched ANOTHER thing and now it’s dirty even tho you sprayed Lysol on the affected areas. I feel like crying.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s just never ending with OCD huh? You know what though? I noticed you realized what’s happening, and you know you’re getting sent into a loop. Try to stop yourself before doing another compulsion and sit with the uncomfortable feeling. You can do this. I know it’s hard, it’s going to be if we want to retrain our brain. I’m with you on this. I just keep doing a compulsion for 2 hours because I wasn’t satisfied. I had recorded it 49 times but I’m pretty sure it’s more than that because each record , I would do it 2-3 or more times. I finally got “”satisfied”” at the 49th time but I feel like doing other compulsions now. It’s just a lie that OCD tells us and I fall for it sometimes. I wanna get stronger, train my brain, and I hope we conquer this together.
Let me know how it goes!
@SofiaLovedAndHealed I have decided that since I used hand sanitizer earlier that it simply ✨cancels out✨ and that’s how I’ve been coping with contamination. Also this dirty thing was a bodily fluid touching something earlier while I was at home which was probably two or three hours before I made this post. I’m simply opting to not think about it !
@9jewels Great job! Although cancelling out stuff is also a compulsion I think because we think of it as neutralizing the feeling or another urge. But it’s a step to stop yourself still. I guess it’s not always gonna be perfect but we’re getting there. I have another intrusive thought again and I’m tempted to research because it will literally only take a few seconds and I feel soooooo uncomfortable not doing it because again, it’s only quick! but I’m letting it sit in my mind because I do this everytime to myself. It is quick yes, but if I have that mindset for every intrusive thought, there is no end to it. I also feel anxious avoiding it and even if I do it I’ll feel a bit anxious still so I think I choose to retrain my brain while feeling the anxiety.
@9jewels The feeling, urge, images, and thoughts are there but we don’t have to dwell or engage in it! We can do this!
@SofiaLovedAndHealed Yes! The thoughts are getting worse and now I’m convinced I gave someone an STD by touching a doorhandle. (I do not have any STDs). I’m going to just opt out of the conversation my brain is trying to have with me. We got this!
@SofiaLovedAndHealed Oh googling was one of my top 3 compulsions for awhile 😭 you’re on top of it!
@SofiaLovedAndHealed What is neutralslising in ocd 💕?
@9jewels I failed. I just researched 🥲🤦🏻♀️ I hate this
@SofiaLovedAndHealed It’s so easy when you have a computer at your fingertips! Not doing compulsions are hard. I sprayed my hands with disinfectant and touched the doorhandle to my office. Wasn’t the first time and probably not the last either, but I will keep trying! You got it!
💕💕 I feel you entirely with this
@Caitlin I’m not a therapist, but I feel like neutralizing is to do an urge/compulsion that eases either another urge or an intrusive thought/feeling/image. Like a counteract but it’s still a compulsion. For example, there’s something contaminated in my mind so I neutralize by saying a prayer 7 times. Or I did an urge and I feel like it didn’t feel right, but I don’t really want to do it again so I do something else to neutralize it. Idk that’s what I think it is.
sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔
This is a long one lol but basically, a couple of weeks ago I went to the toilet (#2, sorry for the tmi). Let's just say it was messy. I remember that a speck of.. #2.. Fell off the piece of toilet paper. This was probably the worst thing that could ever happen. I can't remember clearly but I'm pretty sure my jeans were on the floor underneath near where the speck could have fallen. There was also a towel. I don't know exactly where it fell as it was so small, but I made sure both the towel and the jeans went in the laundry basket and I cleaned the floor near there. Fast forward to like the next day. My mum does most of the laundry, so she will have picked up all the towels and clothes from the laundry basket and taken them to the wash. The problem is the speck. I don't know where it went but if it was on the towel and she picked it up.... Thus, contaminated mum. And she also puts clothes away that are dry. I remember that day she put my hoodie in my wardrobe, and I haven't worn it since because I feel it is contaminated. I haven't worn the clothes that have touched the hoodie. This leaves me with not a lot of clothes. And today I finally snapped and picked up a sweatshirt that had maybe touched the hoodie. And now I'm just sat here spiralling, wearing it. What if it touched the speck? What if the speck touched my mum and then touched the hoodie which then touched the sweatshirt I'm wearing? Please I'm so scared.
contamination ocd has really been messing with me the last couple of days. usually i only struggle when i can connect something to possibly throwing up, but this time it doesn’t matter. so earlier, i took a shower and i also use a wash cloth to wash my body. after i showered i cleaned up my dirty clothes and towels. then when i came back to grab my phone, there was a soap speck on my phone so without thinking i just wiped it on the back of my crewneck i was wearing. well that then spiraled into me thinking what if the soap was from my dirty wash cloth. i know most of you are probably thinking it’s clean since you use soap to clean ur body. well i clean every inch of my body, including my bottom so that’s where my anxiety is gravitating towards. this sounds so ridiculous saying it out loud, but i just have so much anxiety over it. i tried my hardest not to change but i did. at first i just changed my crewneck, but then i had to change my shorts cause my crewneck touches my shorts. but then i changed my shorts. and now i feel like my shirt is contaminated cause i was wearing it with my other shorts before changing. moral of the story, i just have so much anxiety over it and i feel like i shouldn’t because it’s really not a big deal. and i don’t want to change again because that seems ridiculous to me. plus now i’m connecting the contamination to my bed since i was laying on my bed before i changed. i hate life, this sucks.
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