Hi guys. I’m trying so hard not to give into a compulsion. But I feel I’m about to. I have cheating ocd so I’m terrified about betraying my loving, understand boyfriend. The other day I randomly remembered about the moment I met my boyfriend and the thought I had. I had the thought that I wasn’t sure or didn’t like his appearance so would just text him the next day and call things off (feeling tremendously guilty even typing that. Yet the moment he kissed me I totally fell for him. I love his appearance, I honestly 110% think he is so great looking. He’s totally my type. However my head is now been saying for days, “because you had that thought, what if you then weren’t 100% faithful in the beginning of the relationship?” And I feel the need to confess this to my boyfriend but I don’t want to hurt his feelings or confidence because I do genuinely think he’s so attractive and good looking and wouldn’t want him thinking otherwise. Yet when I’m with him I feel like I’m hiding something from him and not be truthful.

Relationship OCD

Soccer35689

Date posted: 6y

Ocd is hard, but from what I hear you saying, you are looking for reassurance through your post and through the urge to ask for forgiveness that you did nothing wrong. It will be more rewarding in the long run not to ask for reassurance every time you have guilty feelings. Sit with the discomfort now and as time goes on, you won’t feel the need to get his approval in whether or not you did something wrong. If every time you have a catastrophic thought about your relationship and act upon it, you’re only training your brain to think these thoughts are emergencies when in reality they will die down with practice.

leham

Date posted: 6y

Yes!! I don’t mean to reassure you at all. Mindfulness. Change your relationship with your thoughts and feelings, and they won’t control you.

Apie

Date posted: 6y

Definitely power through! It’s the OCD talking and when thoughts like this pop up again, try to recognize them for what they really are. You will get better and better at it, just remember that his approval isn’t what you need, you need your own approval!

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