The depersonalization and existenial ocd is real today. I literally feel so anxious and confused. Life feels fake everything seems fake i get this thought that everyone in world is a product of my own mind and i start to believe it and feels so real... then it attacks my suicidal ocd because i think well if its fake then whats the big deal to kill myself.. i feel like im in a video game or something typing this i think whats the point everyone else is fake anyway. I also get this thought when i dont feel it that im just a robot like blacked out because when i have dpdr im so hyper aware and when i dont have it and am just going about my day im not hyper aware and it scares me... its like im afraid either way...

Honestly ive had other subsets of OCD that seemed bad but this by far the worst thoughts/feelings ever

Yeah ive had other subsets but just started treating it recently but honestly i feel like i wish i started earlier and this existential thinking never happened because its awful... im so scared its gonna traumatize me and ill never forget it too... like some of the other ocds i forget about until im triggered with this one no matter what im doing i feel it/think about it.

Is this ur first time dealing with any OCD?

Well let me tell you this... and I hope you will feel better after I say it. But I’ve been dealing with this for like 4 months already and honestly it gets better and you learn how to kind of exist with it.

Also i get this thought that just puts me under sometimes... “what if you dont like life even if you were happy what if you just dont like existing”

Exactly same... i just have this fear of not being able to let go of existence like i would be able to quit a job or find a new group of friends etc... existence is existence and you are ALIVE and u cant find a new life you cant find a new brain and its terrifying

Sometimes i get moments of clarity and i enjoy them in the time being but then i remind myself that i was having moments of clarity and it scares me because i get this thought i was a robot or like a zombie or something. Im not on meds. Therapist says he thinks i can do good without them.

I have had cbd oil doesnt really do anything

How about you?

I tried natural stuff didnt help me personally.. thing is i think i wanted it to help and cure me but at the end of the day its all in my head and only my thoughts and outlook will change the way i feel.

Honestly not sure lol... im a huge car guy and keep myself busy with that

It sucks though because now it fees like i do that stuff for a reason not because i like it lol but just to get my head off my head

Yup lol

Yeah i know hopefully lol, im usually a really upbeat energetic optimistic person but these whats the point thoughts suck so bad lol

How are you guys now? I’m going through this horribly right now could use any tips

Trust me I felt this last night .... it felt like everything was pointless and that I was just going to disappear right then and there

Yup I get that a lot

Where are you from and how old are you? Im from illinois and im 23.

Oh hey I’m from Texas !! And I’m 24!

Yes it’s my first time. I have other subsets as well. I honestly don’t know how to treat it yet. and I just started therapy yesterday

Yea I get that thought too... my thoughts are all about running away from my existence and avoiding my own emotions etc.

Also like I said existing in general and viewing life through my own eyes really messes with me sometimes

Same it’s almost like we are trapped. And it makes no sense! But if I can have moments of clarity ... you can too!! Are you taking meds?

Sometimes these thoughts of everyone being fake makes me feel lonely as hell too... like im here alone or something lol

Yes I get this too , and that’s good Have you thought about CBD oil?

I’m trying it right now , I think I don’t do very well on medication so I’m trying natural stuff. What about exercise??

Yea I feel that way too . Sometimes I just want surgery or like to just reach inside my head and stop it all

I miss being normal lol

Yup that’s how I am. Is there anything that you are passionate about!??

Well that’s good!! I say to focus on the stuff that makes you smile or feel special. Like focus on what you are good at.

Yea I get that .... it’s like when you are doing it you’re like .... “oh god here we go” mindless hobbies

My brain is just programmed right now to think about this bullshit

Well how do you feel now? You feel better?? Would it help if we exchange emails?

Yea that’s true .... it happens but I really do think you will get used to it

Same here like 100% I feel the same lol

Hey I felt better yesterday If you’re feeling this way I recommend trying your best to sit with your feelings of anxiety and remind yourself that you are not feeling your best but this won’t last forever

Then I recommend that you keep yourself busy that helps me

Are you okay now?