[Deleted]
- Date posted
- 2y
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
I feel exactly the same! I’ve had it in the past but had no idea it could be ocd it was just something I tried to bury. But recently we got engaged (we’ve been together 6 years and have a baby which was the best thing ever) but since we got engaged my brain keeps bringing up the thoughts that I’m not happy and not attracted to my partner anymore and that if he way happier with someone else like a woman because I get a really strong groinal. My brain keeps telling me because my feelings are more romantic towards my partner then sexual it’s making me really scared that I’m actually a lesbian in denial …I started therapy last week but we haven’t officially started erp yet
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous_1 I feel the same!!!!
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@jag92 Even though I have my fiancé it makes me scared cause all up to the point we got engaged I was fine and now I just feel like I’m going to hurt him or that I’m hiding a part of myself but I think that’s just the ocd because I was so happy before?
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous_1 Yeah! I’ve been on sertriline for 5 weeks and started some ERP and I feel sooo much better! I haven’t been giving into compulsions and I’ve been using the statements like oh maybe maybe not and ok ocd come with me to the shop or whatever and feel loads better like the thoughts don’t come as regularly …,I don’t know it’s it’s the sertriline I hope it’s the therapy too cause I’ll like to come off the meds next year
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous_1 Thankyou! How are you doing?
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous_1 Having a few bad days again :/ I had 4/5 days where I felt great and I even said to my therapist I’ll book one every other week instead of weekly but now I’m back to the awful feelings and depression ….I think the sertriline is taking the edge off a bit but maybe I haven’t done enough ERP …I did a couple in session and then a few on my own but I think a couple I did on my own were unintentionally reassuring if you get me cause there was bit where I was like oh I don’t do that that the lesbian does etc…..and I had few “ good times” with my partner and I felt so much better but now we haven’t had sex for a week and I feel rubbish again and anxious about it all ….he tried to snog me while I was making the dinner and I’ve had a long day at work and been overthinking again and I just snapped at him ☹️
danielwarwickdanielwarwick
- Date posted
- 2y
Hey! I’m a man and that happened to me too, I was really confused. Just like you said, it felt stronger than normal arousal. I’ve been dealing with it in therapy, I realize that my brain is obsessed with this idea that I’m gay, it puts all of its attention on it, and besides, it wants to alert me so I can protect myself from the threat. That’s why OCD feels so real and intense, your brain functions in a way that it’s “better safe than sorry”, so it will make you feel these feelings and make them feel really real and strong in order to make you protect yourself. You know what I mean? I couldn’t even see guys shirtless a few months ago, and now sometimes I don’t even care, because my brain realizes it’s not a threat anymore. I know it’s hard, but people really say that their arousals feel much stronger than normal arousal when they have intrusive thoughts. It’s really fucked up. But it’s a symptom of your brain trying to protect you, I know it’s crazy and really uncomfortable. But usually it tends to decrease its intensity with time, at least it happens to me. I’m still struggling with some stuff too, but overall the groinals are not as intense as before. Hope ot works. Best of wishes!
danielwarwickdanielwarwick
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous_1 Hey! How you been doing? 😄
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@danielwarwick How’s it going @danielwarwick?
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous_1 Same
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
It’s so hard isn’t it 😭😭😭I just had a panic attack I was reading stories about lesbians coming out and some of the things made sense so I starting crying and wanted to be sick!
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous_1 I do enjoy sex with him…we had quite a lot of sex at he beginning but now I’ve had a baby I’m not as much into it I think that’s just what happens well to me anyway which is why this has all come up again I think :/ I still enjoy sex when we have it and I do orgasm but I’m never one to initiate it ….I always want to hug and touch him etc but I’m never have a massive urge :/ and now I’m worried that I would have an urge if it was a woman but I don’t want that….maybe I just feel that cause it would be something new I don’t know
jag92jag92
- Date posted
- 2y
It kind of make sense what you’re saying though….I’ve never had the arousal towards men without the romantic …maybe that is normal?
Related posts
mattis!
- Date posted
- 21w
Feels so real
I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..
Animallover065
- Date posted
- 19w
How do I get past this last bump with my OCD?
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
Mimo116
- Date posted
- 10w
So-ocd,please answer
Can hocd create mental feelings or things that resemble inclinations Without a physical response?, but such as arousal and mental attraction, for example, I have so ocd and I'm afraid that I might like women.So, in the last period, when I look at photos of girls, especially beautiful ones, I feel something strange or attracted,sometimes their bodies.And I'm confused as to what that might mean, it's like sexual orientation, is this from me or OCD produced by it?'The feeling is like the feeling of discovering new inclinations and this breaks me, I just want to reconcile with myself in any sexual orientation or identity, but I just can't feel comfortable and reconcile with the fact that I may like women or it may happen in the future.And I have these feelings that telling me messing around the girls would be fun, and I feel something like desire, but I never come to terms with this.. I'm going to be 15 years old, I know, I'm not supposed to think like that, I don't have the right to determine who I am now because im young, and I shouldn't continue to dream of marrying a man..My mind keeps reminding me of the fact that I'm a teenager and the likelihood that everything will change is high, but right now, I'm not asking for anything but rest.I want to love myself and reconcile with her.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond