Please!!!

I’ve been in your exact position just a few months ago. Trust me, it gets better and easier to deal with if you take the steps. I was seriously losing my mind, freaking out and making myself physically sick with worry over the same things you are. Im not fully better, I still have the thoughts, they’re just not as loud. Im not trying to reassure you because I know we’re not supposed to do that, but someone told me that if you’re freaking out this bad and willing to try anything and everything to fix what’s going on in your head, then you obviously do love him. We get so fixated on how we feel in the moment and if we don’t feel “in love” then our minds just instantly start spiraling and come up with all sorts of crazy conclusions. I also think you are definitely burnt out. Having OCD can take a major toll on you mentally and physically. You got this!

I went through this and is still going through this when my boyfriend and I got together officially. The rumination started in 2020, . Now we’re married. I keep telling to myself that I won’t let OCD decide for me no matter how real the intrusive feelings and thoughts are sometimes. I am with you on this. Stay strong.

7710 I messaged you a couple days ago and others have as well. You are fighting the wrong battle. The more you struggle the worse you are going to feel. If you don't have a therapist.. study ERP not the other stuff. Sit with the bad feelings, don't argue.. start with 15 minutes by yourself.. it is hard but the more you practice this stuff will get better... You are looking for reassurance which is why you are continuing to post so much. I'm saying this out of kindness.. you need to be doing some ERP and not looking for answers right now.

I can't give you relationship advice but it sounds like you want to keep this person.. I would practice ERP for next 3 weeks solid and let some of this dissapate.. no one is going to give you an answer you are satisfied with because OCD doesn't accept logic.. I have relationship OCD so I am speaking from experience.. you are searching articles.. posting on here .. looking for reassurance and that is horrible for OCD.. Speak with a therapist and get into ERP Asap..

I am starting to not care if I don’t have enough money.. I need help badly!! I really do!! Can’t do this!!

The best thing to do for yourself is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings... Do not argue.. do not apply logic.. do not apply emotion... This rewires your brain not to respond with so much urgency and fear... It will get easier but it takes practice.. no matter what the thought of image... Don't argue...