For obsessions and fears about loving a close to my boyfriend person? While I know how much I love him, everyday or month a different obsession. And awaysbthe same fear. That this time is different and this is gonna stick with me forever. Any erp method I could use?
Yes but always the best thing is to find a professional to help you with that. I know in some countries it can be harder. They will help you find the pace that is best for you. In the meantime, this book helped me a ton with my ROCD: https://www.amazon.ca/OCD-Workbook-Breaking-Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder/dp/1572249218 It will help you have compassion for yourself and give you a chance to see that these obsessions are just thoughts and they can not harm you. I know how you feel, you are strong. It is a terribly annoying thing OCD.
I also want to know this please!
That sounds difficult, i deal with the same kind of obsessions . And if I heard you right, what you're dealing with might be thoughts like, not loving them enough am I right?
@Leo127 Right! And loving someone else ( from his close environment) Constant worry
@Annawilson1234! Yeah I know how that feels! I hear you! So here's what helped me. Whenever the Obssession occured, I responded with 'maybe, maybe not' which i usually do with other once as well, because the goal is to not seek certainity. And one things that helped in the long term was that Ocd always finds out what's most dear to us, what we value the most and it makes us question it. So if I get thoughts like those about my boyfriend means I care enough to notice, And I care about him. And also comparing with a person who doesn't have OCD, my expectations are high and therefore I love them even more than I realise. This isn't to use as a compulsion but to help in the long run :) I sometimes still get those thoughts but then I just respond with, 'yeah, maybe, so what? I still choose to be with him' You could also try script writing, which involves writing about the scenerio of the fear that your obsession is about. And then reading it as an exposure exercise. And for loving somebody else, I've felt that too and still do sometimess. And the exposures that got me to get it right, the first thing that i did was to spend time with the people i think i may like and let those thoughts come, and i responded again with "maybe, maybe not" "yeah maybe i don't love my bf enough/ Maybe I do love them more than my bf and so what? I still have time to figure it out" And you could try script writing for this too. And I also wanna say this, that what ocd gives us is false anxiety, and we have to remember that it's not really us. And it made it half as much easier for me with that belief in mind, not to use it as a compulsion tho :) All the best, hope this helped!:) And sorry it's too long!
@Leo127 Thank you so much! False anxiety is exactly what I would describe it as. For example I catches myself today looking outside the window and thinking, did you just think that you don’t want your boyfriend to be healthy and maybe you want him dead? I never think about any of that but my mind keeps asking for reassurance and confirmation on whether I thought about that or not. So compulsions shrink in to my mind due to that. Thank you so much for your time!
@Annawilson1234! Of course! Happy to help! :) Hope you have a good day/night
I feel like my Rocd has become more sophisticated. It’s made me feel as if my healthy loving boyfriend is this terrible person. Or I’ll be thinking to myself like “I love him”, and in middle thought I get “no you don’t”. It’s convinced me that our values and beliefs are just TOO different (we’ve only disagreed on one thing in our relationship, but we talk it out). It’s like my ocd is clinging on to every reason why I should break up, like I don’t want this anymore, even tho I do! It’s frustrating. And the idea of doing erp terrifies me. Because I’m afraid if I do erp statements, that I’ll agree with them. Can someone give insight
i feel like I can’t even enjoy time with my boyfriend anymore. No matter what we do, I’m constantly analyzing, checking, and questioning if I love him, if I feel anything, if I even want to be with him. It’s exhausting. I don’t feel happy, I don’t feel present, and I don’t know how to fix it. I’ve read about ERP, and I know it’s supposed to help, but I don’t know how to start. I feel like my fears are too real, like maybe this isn’t just ROCD—maybe I actually don’t love him, and I’m just scared to accept it. It feels like I’m lying to myself. I know my compulsions: I constantly check my feelings, analyze past memories, compare my relationship to others, and seek reassurance. I know I’m supposed to stop doing these things, but what do I do instead? What do I do when the thoughts hit me with full force and I feel completely numb? I’m scared to sit with the uncertainty. I’m scared that if I stop checking, I’ll realize I don’t love him. I want to do ERP, but I don’t even know where to begin. Has anyone successfully gone through this? How do you deal with the fear when it feels so real?
My spouse is my best friend. A few months ago I basically worshipped the ground he walked on. He’s the best partner in the world so no “maybe he’s not the right person” commentary. Lately my fear of going psychotic has brought back my intrusive thoughts about harming my husband. Now, whether it be from emotional dissociation or medications, I can’t feel any emotions so I’ve developed ROCD. This is ruining my life and has been a month from hell since my spouse/comfort zone makes me feel nothing. My therapist hasn’t given me any info on how to do anything about this other than reading a book (didn’t help). Any ERP suggestions? I haven’t done ERP before for these types of OCD
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