POCD TW. Need some help. So, I’ve been struggling with what I hope is POCD since October. I’m a lot better now, but some days are still a huge struggle. I’ve never really had any groinal movements at all, which I found weird but was happy about it. But today, a kid at my job leaned against me and it made me kind of anxious, and then out of nowhere I felt something down there. And it was kind of a lot, I instantly felt awful. And have been ruminating since. I hated every second of it. It feels like every step forward I take something new happens to send me back. Not sure if this just proves I am what I fear, or I’m in denial. Or what. I’m just scared.

Ok so I’ve been kind of upset about this all day so I figured I would share this. I’m really nervous doing it because I don’t want to get judged for it. I feel so guilty about it all the time. So a couple of years ago I was babysitting a family friends kid, and they were crawling all over me, jumping up and down, and I wound up having a groinal response (I really don’t wanna say the kind.) I kind of put it in the back of my mind and forgot about it, but around last year I remembered and latched onto it and it threw me into my OCD spiral. I remembered this happened maybe two other times before that, and of course I felt weird and guilty by it. I didn’t experience any sexual arousal, yet this happened to me. I always had sexually intrusive thoughts ever since I was a little kid, so perhaps I was just having a groinal response to when that was happening because I was thinking “omg what if...” or whatever, but of course I can’t remember my thoughts. Now I know what a groinal response is and that they come in all shapes and sizes (lol) but because this happened *before* I realized I had POCD, my brain has convinced me that it was some kind of genuine attraction and that I wanted to do something bad

TW!! POCD Please help. I’ve been doing decent lately but just need support on something that has kept me stuck. I can’t tell if this is a real memory or not, but I’m pretty sure it is. Maybe distorted. But feels so real. And I’m terrified. Last year before my huge OCD spike. So before I even knew I had OCD. I remember being around kids at work, and this girl in a skirt was on a climber on the playground and I remember looking up and you could see her underwear. I remember staring for a minute, and it was kind of like a car accident, I couldn’t look away. I remember finally coming to my senses and saying I wonder what people would think if they knew I was doing this. After that, I completely forgot about it until my spike in October and I’ve been living in a prison of regret and guilt ever since. I sometimes see that child at work still and I get a rush of anxiety and guilt. I just don’t know how to move pass this, for this reason it gives my OCD proof that I am what I fear so much. Is it possible that I was experiencing intrusive thoughts then and just didn’t care enough or realize it. I’m so broken from this. I hate what I’m going through. I hate myself if this memory is real.

POCD TW: HELP Haven’t been on this app in a bit because I’ve been doing pretty well! But I had a pretty bad day. I work with children. And my ocd has been targeting one child mostly. (I hope it’s ocd) Today, while hanging out with her she was joking around with me and she was trying to steal a baseball bat out of my hand. She put it between her legs. I started to lose grip of it, so I switched my hand to get a better grip and I pulled it and took it from her, and it moved upward and she instantly said “ouch that hurt” and I think I accidentally hit her in an in appropriate area. I feel really bad. And I’m afraid that she’ll tell her parents I did it or something. My OCD is telling me I did it on purpose but I know I didn’t. Ugh. I was doing SO well before this. But it feels like I’ve moved 10 steps back.