Its like my brain wont let me be happy. Ill catch myself deep in work and realize that im feeling pretty good and not having as many intrusive thoughts. My brain then has to analyze why and says things like "your happy when your not thinking about her, you should just leave the relationship". Ughhhh.. I hate this so much.
i got it too like why im not like before looking and checking for her messages is that ocd?
Sorry for the really late message! I'd argue that any thought that makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, upset, disgusted, stressed out, stays stuck in your head on an uncomfortable loop, and/ or makes you feel like you have to "undo" the thought or figure it out further in some way, as well as any other variation of the above, is likely OCD.
@Stellaaa but why i dont excited when i dont look at her messages like before like love like before goes away to i go out with her.I got hocd too maybe
@mrgg11 That's normal. Over time, love changes. It isn't a bad thing, it means you've been together a while and you are really comfortable with each other. Think about it, if humans were in the same type of love for the entire relationship, then nothing would ever get done. We have a very fun honeymoon phase, then once we find a relationship that we are really, really happy in, then our love tends to change in a way for us to make our own life together. My boyfriend and I have been together for years now and we show our love by being there for each other, helping each other maintain our life together, ya know, the big picture stuff. Instead of worrying if they like me, in the new phase, I know he loves me. Instead of wondering if they will judge me for something, I know he won't and he will accept me. Instead of being bashful, nervous, and scared, we can just watch some TV, cook dinner, and play with our cat children. It's kind of like an honor to reach that stage, but because it's different people think it means the passion is gone. But it's not! It's just changing to something deeper and calmer. That high level of crazy about each other, embarrassed, love jitters, insecurity, and firsts experiences together feeling takes a lot out of a person. That's why it changes, so that you can have a respectful, loving relationship, or to start up your lives together and to feel like a family instead of just two people that kinda like each other. On the HOCD thing, when I was younger, I wondered this as well about myself. Did I like girls? But fortunately for me, I was in a family that would not have cared if I liked other women or not. So for me, it wasn't a big deal. I just decided, well, if I liked women then I guess I'd just date other women and that's that. Accepting it, helped me to not worry about it. Same woth any other OCD, if you can be okay with the thoughts that you're getting, then they loose their power. For me that meant being open to whatever life threw at me. If I thought another woman was pretty, then that's all that was. If I was into a man, then that's all that was too. If I liked someone who was something else entirely, then that's all that is as well. So what? Some people might come from a background that doesn't accept being gay, and I think it creates stress for someone with OCD, but at the end of the day, if you like someone, you can't help that. It's normal and healthy in my book. If you don't, then you don't. You might have some complicated feelings, but it's simple when you break it down from an outside view. I decided that pansexual felt right for me (meaning liking people regardless of what gender they might be). By chance I only ever had relationships with men, but had I liked someone of a different gender than men, I would have not held back. When you take that power away from OCD, you can just focus on whether or not you like someone as a person instead of only for the set of genitals they have
Intrusive thoughts are the worst. But you seem to recognize that it's just from the OCD, which seems to me like you're on the right path. You know it doesn't have anything to do with you, OCD just forces us to examine everything to 100% certainty, even if there isn't an issue to even examine.
Let me also say, that if you didn't like her at all and wanted to break up, then that's okay too. However, it doesn't seem like you want to break up from the messages, that's I mention the love changing, because I have experienced that as well and likely anyone I'm a long term relationship has as well
@Stellaaa i dont want lose this i didnt know about rocd before i get off girl after 20days but now im with her 6 months and im not going break up with her because i love her but everytime i see love my ocd say no you dont loge her you love boy
@mrgg11 Well, there you have it. You said yourself that it was your OCD that tells you you love boys instead of her. Not you! If you did not have OCD, you might still have this thought, but your brain would allow you to let it go. Since you do have OCD, your brain will not let go of the thought and will try to make you think that there is more meaning to it than there actually is
@Stellaaa your so nice person and i would like you to help me if you got instagram for some private messages? if you have any fake instagram or something
@Stellaaa can you
Awe thank you so much, but unfortunately I don't. I'm sorry! I wish I could help more. You seem really nice too. OCD is hard, but you will figure it out. If you don't already have a therapist. Make sure you find someone. Also keep in mind that Exposure and Response Prevention (or ERP) is considered one of the best ways to treat OCD. It helped me a lot to find therapists who could do that. It was the only thing that ever made a dent in my OCD. I wish you a lot of good luck in your OCD recovery and woth your girlfriend! I hope you have a happy healthy time :)
@Stellaaa when i was in ocd my feelings vary for my gf but then i kept maybe i am gay maybe im not love comed back for girlfriend and now im again in ocd after 2-3 days i had ocd before 2-3 days bit i sit with that and i was good but now is worst again
@mrgg11 It will fluctuate, but don't be upset if you have a bad day. It is normal to have both easy and hard days with OCD in my experience. Be kind to yourself on the hard days, and be grateful and enjoy the feeling when when you have an easier day.
I feel so lost. My boyfriend tries so hard to help me, but nothing seems to work. Every time he reassures me, my mind finds another doubt. He asks me, “So you’ve been questioning if you love me for almost 2 years?” and instead of feeling comforted, my mind jumps to “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him.” I keep telling him every thought that comes to my mind, hoping for relief, but it never lasts. I feel anxious, disconnected, and stuck in this endless cycle. He tells me that if I truly didn’t love him, I wouldn’t care so much about these thoughts. But still, my brain won’t stop questioning everything. I don’t understand why I feel this way. Why does it feel like I’m forcing something? Why do I feel like I can’t just know how I feel? I want to feel okay. I want to be present with him without analyzing every moment. But no matter what I do, my mind keeps telling me “What if you don’t love him?” I feel like I’m stuck between wanting clarity and being terrified of what that clarity might mean. It feels so real, and I hate it. I don’t know what to do.
Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
Whenever anyone starts to feel like their thoughts are less triggering or they feel a moment of happiness/ relief OCD tells you that you want the thoughts back or you actually like having the thoughts and maybe thats just the person I really am? I feel like im going insane😢
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