When I’m uncertain about something, my mind always convinces myself that the worst case is true. I don’t have peace of mind or can’t carry on calmly unless I have reassurance. I have no money for therapy right now and feel weird opening up to loved ones about certain triggers so bearing these thoughts all to myself is so exhausting. I’m not sure what’s right and wrong, what I should worry about and what I shouldn’t. I can’t just decide to let something go and live with the uncertainty. It’s especially difficult with real event, pure o ocd.

That’s the same book I’ve read! Lol very helpful. Again there’s more resources out there for ppl with ocd then we think but remember as much as you probably hear this you are not your past.

Is there any way you could look into apps and websites that offer peer counseling or dbt journaling? I know there are a few on the app store. It’s not therapy, but it’s a good place to organize your thoughts and do some anxiety exercises.

Ive spent a lot of time worrying about mistakes Ive made in past too. From all sorts of angles. Mental compulsions are so tricky to figure out on your own. Have you tried exposure scripts? There are some good resources on pure O these days you open to hearing more about them?

Not nscessarily true but tell yourself it might be true, to learn tolerating more uncertainty around whatever your fear or concern is.

I suggest you start reading up on OCD, it’s crazy how much more confident you feel when you read articles about people who are just like you

I’ve had OCD since I was 14 and was going to therapy on and off for 10 years. I know everything about it but sometimes specific triggers pertaining to me personally are hard to overcome alone even with my general tools from my therapist.

Have you read any books on it?

I read a book called brain lock once about ocd. I had all the tools but real life events got in the way. I had a phase through college always partying and drinking. My black out drunk nights cause a lot of my distress now and start the triggers of my current obsessions.

I know I am not my past but one thing I obsess about is my past coming back to haunt me. Fear of being taped by exes and looking up key words with my name to find myself on porn sites. If even a blurry image looks like me in the slightest I start obsessing its me. It’s really troubling thoughts. My compulsion is to keep checking and I haven’t done so in weeks but it kills me on the inside. I try and talk to myself with sayings my therapist taught me and it only goes so far. She’s always a message away but since I don’t pay to see her anymore I feel bad always reaching out whenever I get triggered off.

...And being in a relationship makes it so much worse. I start to think I’m a bad person undeserving of my boyfriend and I have an urge to go to him for reassurance, and when I don’t I feel like I’m keeping some deep dark secret.

I have scripts from my therapist telling myself this is my ocd this is what my brain does, I will never find evidence, etc...are exposure scripts the ones where you tell yourself the obsession is true so you get numb to the thought over time rather than anxious? I’m open to hear about anything concerning ocd.