Yeehaww
- Date posted
- 2y
Accepting
I feel like I’m trying to accept myself as in behind homosexual, like I feel like I have to do this and eventually I’ll be okay… I don’t know what is wrong with me and I can’t stop
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
currently dealing with the same thing, my mind is telling me that this is exactly what ppl who are gay go through when they have a hard time accepting their sexuality. idk what to do anymore
Yeehaww Yeehaww
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous My head is killing me. Like I’m talking to my mom and I just feel like she thinks I’m crazy. I’m like this is exactly what is going through my mind. I keep looking back and thinking we’ll was being with that guy or flirting with that guy just a subconscious coverup? At the time I remember that they were actually people I was physically attracted too, now I’m going insane overthinking it and feeling like I don’t know.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Countrymusiclover_1 i’m in the exact same spot. i’ve been numb for weeks and have not been able to stop crying. i have a boyfriend and now pick apart if im attracted to him, and if i was ever actually attracted to any of the boys i’ve liked before. this obsessive spiral is killing me
Yeehaww Yeehaww
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous Same! I met a boy that was so perfect, then I started feeling like I couldn’t continue with it, it was all I could think about so I decided to end it…. I was like what is wrong with me… then I saw a tik tok about this girl who hung out with a girl and turned lesbian…. That triggered me and I began to overthink…. We’ll is that’s what’s going on with me? We’re those boys just for my validation? Am I actually interested in girls? It was nearly 2 weeks of this until I decided to look into this and I felt like I could breath for the first time. But the fact that I felt relief makes me scared that I’m just using the OCD to hide my truth that this isn’t it….. until it comes back again and destroys me. I feel like I’ll never be in a relationship because this is going to be a constant fear, when I’ve always imagined being with a man.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Countrymusiclover_1 yup i’ve dealt with ocd since i was a kid, i had a few different subtypes, for some reason this is the one that gets to me the most. just the idea of not truly knowing who i am or might be freaks me out . i watched a show where a woman was with her husband for 20 years & then found out she was a lesbian… i was like, how do you just not know?? and then completely spiraled. have been freaking out for months dissecting and ruminating in my past, present, & future. its driving me insane!!!
Yeehaww Yeehaww
- Date posted
- 2y
Yep. And the fact that I’ve never been in love or truly had mutual feeling with a man doesn’t help. That’s what I think began this all…… I just feel like being single would be best for me because I don’t have to think about stuff like this. I’ve always thought about doing cute stuff with a boyfriend and now I’m like I’ll just never be so infatuated with a guy to do those things… I pray to God to send me the guy I need, but I don’t know if that’s really in my plans.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 2y
@Countrymusiclover_1 i promise it’d be no different if you would have had those connections. i’ve had deep meaningful connections with a couple guys & yet my ocd doesn’t care, says it was all just a ploy and i imagined it
Yeehaww Yeehaww
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous Who knows. I’m not diagnosed but I feel like HOCD described the exact emotions and mannerism I’ve been doing, over past years.
Yeehaww Yeehaww
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous I just don’t know if it is and don’t want to convince myself it is because I don’t know. Scared me because if it’s not this then I don’t know what this is.
Related posts
edimichael
- Date posted
- 23w
acceptance
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
What is happ...
- Date posted
- 22w
Questions… I don’t want reassurance just advice
I’ve tried accepting the uncertainty, I’ve accepted I may be gay, bi or still straight. I’ve tried doing ERP myself to the best I can. When I accept that I’m gay or bi why doesn’t my head agree and move on? Why does it still question it? I know I don’t want to be at all. I love my family. But I just want this to move on. I want to enjoy life. Why can’t I find women attractive again? (Brief moments I do). I seriously don’t understand the false attraction? I’ve tried agreeing with it but it won’t let this drop. Why am I attracted to the same sex? Why am I attracted to people I would never thought of looking at? Why does it give me such grief about this? I know I shouldn’t look at adult content but why can I only feel good watching either lesbian or females? I tried to agree with the gay but it makes me sick and horrendous I even considered this? I just want my life back.
anonymous00981
- Date posted
- 19w
I feel like this is it
I had a bad rumination spiral yesterday and went to bed hoping I’d start over in the morning. I was wrong. I had dreams about liking women and not being attracted to men anymore and my entire body has been in a state of anxiety since. I genuinely feel like I’m gay and just need to accept it. I have this urge to accept it. Maybe if I do I’ll get some sort of relief because this feeling is awful. I feel like my brain is telling me that I’ll get relief if I just accept it and come out. The intrusive thoughts don’t even seem to be around sexual images anymore, just to come out.
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