Trans and getting hit with Gender OCD

Anyone else trans (especially if transmasc) and experience episodes obsessing over whether or not you're "faking it" or making the "right" choice? I know deep down this is always something I want for myself when I'm mentally my healthiest, but I havent been doing well lately and my OCD has latched onto that self doubt. Especially after seeing videos of detransitioners. Now I'm constantly ruminating and checking my experience compared to other trans people to see if it's "valid" or whatever

Username: Just_trying_my_best

Date posted: 110d ago

Not trans but a lesbian. I had severe sexual orientation and it was really hard to deal with especially since the only experiences I heard with it was from a heterosexual experience. I spent all day trying to figure out if I was into guys or not even though I never had been. I think what makes it worse for those in the LGBTQ+ community is the societal pressure of "social norms" on top of the OCD. What helped me was to sit with the uncertainty. I would tell myself "If I like a guy or not, it doesn't matter. Gender and Sexuality is a spectrum."

Username: gaben

Date posted: 110d ago

That is such a good reminder... thank you.

Username: DragonfruuT

Date posted: 107d ago

I'm going through the same thing right now, I'm freaking out i've been freaking out for weeks, every day it starts to feel more and more real. Your OCD started just like mine, I was happy doing fine really happy that I was changing, then it started soon after I got really exposed to a bunch of transphobic rhetoric and transphobic detransitioned people, and now i'm terrified

Username: gaben

Date posted: 106d ago

I'm so sorry you're going through it too. I hope you have some relief in knowing you're not alone. A mix of the current wave of transphobic rhetoric+that one detransitioner who emphasizes regret, plus having a really intense PMDD episode while on T at the same time. That's what absolutely got me wrecked. I'm slowly coming back from the panic, but the ruminating is still non stop. We are both gonna see it through this episode!

Username: DragonfruuT

Date posted: 106d ago

@gaben I don't know if I will, it feels so genuine and real, I don't want to be detrans, it feels like I just *became* detrans out of nowhere

Username: gaben

Date posted: 106d ago

@DragonfruuT My brain is saying the exact same things this week. A good sign for us is that it felt like it just came out of nowhere, and is creating a lot of distress instead of a semblance of comfort. As someone that doesnt wa t to detrans, that sounds like OCD more than anything.