- Date posted
- 2y
- Date posted
- 2y
Awaken into love?
- Date posted
- 2y
I listened to the podcast and found parts of it really helpful
- Date posted
- 2y
I love their videos but also find them compulsive. I've been curious to get therapy with them and follow their guides as they don't just do ERP
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- 2y
How do you find them compulsive?
- Date posted
- 2y
@kiki_ I went through a period of just watching all their videos to reaffirm it was rocd and not my relationship. When I couldn't deal with the thoughts I would watch their videos and find other people like me. This kept me stuck because I was comfortable knowing it was rocd but too comfortable sitting there that I didnt dive deep into ERP. I just followed their videos as compulsions to reduce my stress. They also always say "love is a choice", and that kept me stuck too because if i was choosing to be with them everything else would be fine but I was too scared to uncover the "truth" by doing the ERP. I'm a massive suppressor though so these things naturally were reassuring to me.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous They also now put compulsion checks on all their insta posts which I think is super responsible of them!
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous Ahh this is super relatable! You say the truth with "", did it end up being what you thought? Or is there no truth.. I struggle with that fear of the truth too, being the end of a relationship, or deep down knowing it's not right. I can relate to this so much
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous **scared of the truth being that i should end the relationship
- Date posted
- 2y
I still don't know if it was the truth, but he left me, which is for the better as he was someone who was afraid of my OCD and an insecure person. I'm with a different person now who is secure in themselves and am diving into the work as a lot of the same thoughts are there about a completely different person. Wild! I don't know if there is truth. I'm stuck in compulsions of trying to work this out right now. Right here with ya. I compare things from my last relationship, I do all of the mental compulsion things you can think of lol. I think doing ERP and dealing with that uncertainty will help and make it so I don't care so much. I don't think anyone "knows". People are just better with dealing with potential flaws or imperfections in character, physical, whatever it is. I seem to need perfection in a partner, yet I'm trying to work out if these are "needs" "wants" or if these are things I can work on and accept them for who they are without having compulsions to change them. Obviously changing them for my own comfort isn't very nice :( I think you myself "I wouldn't put this pressure on a friend to be perfect, why do I have these nagging thoughts about my partner" he could be wrong for me, or he could be right. Maybe I'll never know.
- Date posted
- 2y
Last paragraph: I think to myself*
- Date posted
- 2y
@Tib Thanks, this resonates a lot with me. I also have had the same patterns show up in various relationships with very different partners. I am now with someone who is a lot more willing to work with my ocd, while also not playing into it. But still I worry about the "truth", and it feels awful and guilt inducing. I know exactly what you mean by compulsively seeking out self help stuff, I just wanted to confirm that's how you meant it without assuming. I have a hard time getting myself to do the "real work". š I know the real work seems to be just living as fully as I want to, not avoiding situations, without indulging in the compulsions. So far that's the best I've got for ERP that actually feels real.
- Date posted
- 2y
@krikri_ Yes, well not doing the real work is avoidance. I've found rather than doing scripts, my therapist records me and asks me to talk about all the things I don't like and that I get stuck on and to listen back to the recording as my exposure. I found writing out exposures not organic or real enough
- Date posted
- 2y
Wait, i said the real work is living and not avoiding, and you say not doing the real work is avoiding. Do you mean that's different? I get hung up on the real work
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Iāve been seeing tons and tons of videos about avoidant attachments on TikTok a lot! And lieterally all day I was overthinking and crying. Iām not sure if I have avoidance attachment I never got deeper into the meaning of it until yesterday and Iāve seen so many comments about it. Iām starting to think what if Iām one? Is I am how do I change? I fear relationships, I am very independent and will only ask for help if needed. This God at my job likes me and I like the way he acts and he wants a relationship which Iāve already made a few post about him. When we went to church the second time I held his hands and hugged him but I still doubted his looks . Heās not ugly but I donāt think heās my type so I apologized for holding his hands because I donāt want to lead him on. I have prayed multiple prayers if heās the one for me. After seeing those avoidant attachment videos Iām afraid I act this way toward the guy that likes me. Then when I ask myself āwell do you like himā I get filled with anxiety. Iām not rushing in a relationship but I want to love someone not just someone loving me. Please tell me someone understands.?
- Date posted
- 16w
Iāve been really struggling with Relationship OCD since I got married, and 3 years later, Iām afraid Iāve lost the love of my life. Between the Relationship OCD, the Religious OCD, and the Sexuality OCD, she couldnāt handle it anymore. Now that she left, the fog of doubt has faded, and Iām realizing how much I truly loved her all along. I just donāt understand how our minds can play such sabotaging tricks on us. And why? I donāt know what to do. I hope and pray we eventually get back together, but I know I need help. I want to do whatever I can to return to a place where she can feel loved by me, the way she did before ROCD took over. Is anyone here going through something similar? Has anyone overcome ROCD? Were you able to repair your relationship? Iād really appreciate any insight or advice. Thank you.
- Perfectionism OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Sexual Orientation OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- Relationship OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 13w
I feel like Iāve reached such a painful place where everything seems real. I feel like I donāt love him anymore, like Iāve been lying to myself and to him this whole time ā and now Iām realizing a terrible truth that I couldnāt accept until now. The thoughts come in like statements, like facts: āYou donāt love him,ā āIt was just habit,ā āYouāre pretending.ā They donāt feel like just thoughts ā they feel like reality. And the hardest part is that I donāt feel anything anymore. Just a deep emptiness, numbness, and detachment. I donāt know what love feels like anymore, and because I donāt feel, I start to believe thereās nothing left to feel ā maybe there never was. My mom told me that Iām lying to myself, that Iām hurting him and myself, and if I really donāt feel anything, I should end the relationship. Sheās overwhelmed, and I know sheās saying these things out of worry for me ā but it still hurts. My boyfriend shows me so much love. He really does. He tells me, he shows me, he supports me. And yet⦠I feel like I canāt respond, like Iām empty inside. That makes me feel like a terrible person. I feel fake, like Iām performing in a life that doesnāt feel real anymore. Iāve read so much about ROCD. Iāve been told over and over again that I need to sit with the thoughts, that I need to accept uncertainty. I know what ERP is, I know the tools. But even with all this knowledge, I feel stuck. It feels like nothing is helping. Like Iām frozen in place, and my only truth is this awful, real-seeming feeling that I donāt love him. I keep thinking: maybe I just liked the idea of love. Maybe I only stayed because heās a good person. Maybe the love I thought I felt was just me coping and hoping. And now it feels like that hope is gone. I feel so disconnected from everything. I canāt even remember how it felt to love him. I look at our memories and they feel distant, blurry, meaningless. Iām scared. Iām tired. I just want to feel okay again. Please, if anyone has been through something like this ā if you understand this storm ā Iād love to hear how you kept going. I feel like Iām barely holding on.
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