Jigjon99
- Date posted
- 3y
KieleKiele
- Date posted
- 3y
Awaken into love?
kikiā”kikiā”
- Date posted
- 3y
I listened to the podcast and found parts of it really helpful
TibTib
- Date posted
- 3y
I love their videos but also find them compulsive. I've been curious to get therapy with them and follow their guides as they don't just do ERP
kikiā”kikiā”
- Date posted
- 3y
How do you find them compulsive?
TibTib
- Date posted
- 3y
@kiki_ I went through a period of just watching all their videos to reaffirm it was rocd and not my relationship. When I couldn't deal with the thoughts I would watch their videos and find other people like me. This kept me stuck because I was comfortable knowing it was rocd but too comfortable sitting there that I didnt dive deep into ERP. I just followed their videos as compulsions to reduce my stress. They also always say "love is a choice", and that kept me stuck too because if i was choosing to be with them everything else would be fine but I was too scared to uncover the "truth" by doing the ERP. I'm a massive suppressor though so these things naturally were reassuring to me.
TibTib
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous They also now put compulsion checks on all their insta posts which I think is super responsible of them!
kikiā”kikiā”
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous Ahh this is super relatable! You say the truth with "", did it end up being what you thought? Or is there no truth.. I struggle with that fear of the truth too, being the end of a relationship, or deep down knowing it's not right. I can relate to this so much
kikiā”kikiā”
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous **scared of the truth being that i should end the relationship
TibTib
- Date posted
- 3y
I still don't know if it was the truth, but he left me, which is for the better as he was someone who was afraid of my OCD and an insecure person. I'm with a different person now who is secure in themselves and am diving into the work as a lot of the same thoughts are there about a completely different person. Wild! I don't know if there is truth. I'm stuck in compulsions of trying to work this out right now. Right here with ya. I compare things from my last relationship, I do all of the mental compulsion things you can think of lol. I think doing ERP and dealing with that uncertainty will help and make it so I don't care so much. I don't think anyone "knows". People are just better with dealing with potential flaws or imperfections in character, physical, whatever it is. I seem to need perfection in a partner, yet I'm trying to work out if these are "needs" "wants" or if these are things I can work on and accept them for who they are without having compulsions to change them. Obviously changing them for my own comfort isn't very nice :( I think you myself "I wouldn't put this pressure on a friend to be perfect, why do I have these nagging thoughts about my partner" he could be wrong for me, or he could be right. Maybe I'll never know.
TibTib
- Date posted
- 3y
Last paragraph: I think to myself*
kikiā”kikiā”
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tib Thanks, this resonates a lot with me. I also have had the same patterns show up in various relationships with very different partners. I am now with someone who is a lot more willing to work with my ocd, while also not playing into it. But still I worry about the "truth", and it feels awful and guilt inducing. I know exactly what you mean by compulsively seeking out self help stuff, I just wanted to confirm that's how you meant it without assuming. I have a hard time getting myself to do the "real work". š I know the real work seems to be just living as fully as I want to, not avoiding situations, without indulging in the compulsions. So far that's the best I've got for ERP that actually feels real.
TibTib
- Date posted
- 3y
@krikri_ Yes, well not doing the real work is avoidance. I've found rather than doing scripts, my therapist records me and asks me to talk about all the things I don't like and that I get stuck on and to listen back to the recording as my exposure. I found writing out exposures not organic or real enough
kikiā”kikiā”
- Date posted
- 3y
Wait, i said the real work is living and not avoiding, and you say not doing the real work is avoiding. Do you mean that's different? I get hung up on the real work
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond