Hocd feel bad.

Hello everyone, I hope your all good, I whant to share you my current situation for see if anyone can give me advice or relate to my actuals experience. I already had other ocd theme before, but hocd is one of the worst I experienced. It take something that I was living and felt confident and comfortable in it to torture me with it. During the last 6 month I almost had no relapse, just constant tought fear and bad feeling. I am tired to be honest, like a lot of us is. Just recently it took an other and worst way, because it make me feel like the false attraction is freakin real. Everything started when I got drunk at a bar and started to feel a weird feeling of "attraction" toward every guy I see, but without the anxiety, I just continue my day but the next morning, when I remembered everything, it was terrible. Because it was feeling like the proof, from this moment every male friend or other was making me feel attracted like a big thrilling and anxious feeling. It's weird, and in same time my brain when analysing all the time I was attracted to women was making me feel like it's unreal or if I was living to myself before. I will be honest I hate it, I just whant it to stop, now, but then a strange instant where I was in front of a friend and the feeling came back, I face it, and in the moment an BIG feeling came, like real attraction, then, nothing, it's diseapear during the day. I don't know anymore, it's feel like I'm convinced by my memory telling my it was not real attraction, it's a terrifying feeling, because I cannot look at any male in the eyes by fear to be attracted. I'm scared to lose women, my identity and discover that I was fully lying to myself to try to keep myself in denial. It's feel like denial. I hope anyone who will read that could give me some tips or tell me is story, sorry for my bad English.

Sexual Orientation OCD

@Angiolina98

Date posted: 2y

I understand you I felt the same and sometime it return to me and the doubt is the same your, I feel very happy to found this community, I also know a guy that sperimented the same feeling. You are NOT bad! And probably the best thing to do in this case is to take care of yourself and watching a comedy film, I recommend it to you❤️

yun444g

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Being drunk or intoxicated doesn’t even make your OCD sensations and thoughts all that much better, if anything you might be more accepting as a response but you’re definitely still going to think about the things that trigger you. Like you said, when you were drunk you acted like everything was fine, sounds about right lol. I wouldn’t take any new sensations you felt while under the influence to mean anything crazy, but honestly through having OCD I’ve become way less interested in drinking and getting high in general

ptenkman

Date posted: 2y

OCD can certainly alter reality. Constant ruminations can almost hypnotize you into thinking something you are not. I've lived it before. Consider this, I walked in into a bar once and saw a guy from across the room and had an OCD moment where I thought I may be attracted to him. As I approached I the found out it wasn't a guy, it was a girl I was admiring. Girls can have pretty blue eyes, and so can guys.

Anonymous123

Date posted: 24w

Can anyone tell me if this is normwl

Hi so I've been having a recent theme of soocd hocd. At the start I was all panicked and couldn't leave my house. Now all my emotions feel like they have turned off. It feels real now like I'm just in denial. It's bringing up memories from the past of shows I've watched or people I was friends with to try and prove the point or people I thought were pretty. It's saying you've only realised now cause you are comfortable as I had a difficult childhood. I feel no attraction towards men and can't remember if I ever have now even though I know I did. It's saying its all fake. I really am. Starting to believe it's real and I just feel depressed now. Am I going to have to leave my boyfriend who I planned my life with. It feels like life is going by and I'm stuck. I have no energy at all.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

Am I even straight anymore?

I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.

Anonymous

Date posted: 20w

SOCD false attraction

hey guys, i’m almost fully healed in my socd journey but what’s stopping me is the false atractions. i get them almost 24/7 at this point and to every thing. they feel real and i hate them they make me feel disgusted. they also make me feel like hot and gross but then i see people saying thats what attractions feel like, but i have felt so much attraction to the opposite gender pre all of this and it felt nice and enjoyable not digustinf. i’m also getting false memory trying to show me ‘signal’ from my childhood to prove i’m gay amd i truly don’t know if they’re real. it’s so degrading and at this point i feel like govining up. pelesse if you have any advice or even if your going through the same thing just let me know. ocd is so terrible

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

Hocd feel bad.

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community