- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m trying but I can’t let go, just feel like a weirdo .. ik I was horny and wasn’t thinking much but idk I just really dislike myself
- Date posted
- 6y
Past is past, dont beat urself up for it
- Date posted
- 6y
See, you did something in the past, but you dislike yourself in the present. Ot doesn't make sense. If you think that was something wrong (for me it wasn't, but your opinion matters here), just don't do it again. You can dislike your behavior in past, acknowledge it, and like yourself in the present - because in the present you are not doing it anymore.
- Date posted
- 6y
Personally, I don’t think it was a big of a deal. I can’t help thinking what my close ones around me would think.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes, zg23, there's absolutely no reason why u should stop enjoying the NOW because ure beating urself up over the past. No matter how difficult & disgusting u think ur past was, i hope u find the courage to move past this, kay? U WILL
- Date posted
- 6y
Uncertainty hurts you. You don't know what close ones would think about it. Maybe they would think like you, that it wasn't a big of deal, maybe the would think otherwise. Why is their opinion so important to you?
- Date posted
- 6y
I guess their opinion is important, especially my sisters because I care about my family. I think it’s just my brain making a big deal out of it even though looking back I was just horny and was pretending to have sex because of that. Just can’t stop thinking about specifics of what I said on there etc and I’m trying to move past but I’m finding it hard. Guess it’s one of my major insecurities
- Date posted
- 6y
I think you want so much your family to react positevely on this (like "meh, not big deal"), but you don't know how they would react - that's what is causing rumination about all the details. If I am correct, try to embrace this anxiety about uncertainty. You don't know how would they react, don't fight it.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks I’m just too much in my head. I find meditation helps. Just that when I think back I forgot that there were real people behind them.
- Date posted
- 6y
Important thing is to correctly identify compulsions - like, mby trying to change meaning on something, or looking for some magical explanations. Don't try to justify yourself, it's compulsion, that makes you feel better for one moment, but makes you ruminate more. That's vicious circle and that's why meditation helps.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thanks I’ll try to move past it no matter what my brain tries to tell me even though it’s hard. I just have to live in the now . ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
18+ people with this thread please. I just want some advice from people who have experienced this. Its been almost 2 years since my real event and i can confidently say that i feel a bit better about that and my thoughts. (We still have bad moments but we recover.) but, ever since then and before, i feel nasty and gross whenever i engage or interact with adult content. Like this nasty guilt or feeling like i cant interact with it because then my ocd says “this proves that your thoughts are true and your perverse” and after i always feel empty and disgusting. Besides things like that, i read adult fan fiction sometimes or even write stories for my original characters. And yesterday i shared these stories with a close in person friend of mine. (Were both in college) and they were fine about it we laughed about it but then after i felt guilty-my brain was telling me “you traumatized her she just doesn’t wanna tell you” obliviously this isn’t true but im having a hard time believing it and this morning i woke up with a deep dread that i hurt a friend and im horrible. I can say that they’re more positive about these things then me and i think thats why we got into the conversation and i felt comfortable to share these stories but i just can’t get over it. I have a strong urge to ask for reassurance but i know it wont help. I literally have no one else to talk to about this. Ive spoken to my therapist about this guilt with adult content and we have yet to expand on it especially how it goes hand in hand with my asexuality. My therapist tells me its human to feel things like this and its ok to perform self care like that and again-im a human person its usually normal for 19 year olds to be like this especially for someone my age but i dont feel normal. I feel nasty. Does anyone else feel this way? How did you confront this guilt and how did you feel comfortable again interacting with these feelings and actions again? I dont really have a desire to do s*xual things often (im on the asexual spectrum) but when i do i dont want to feel like this. Especially when my ocd types effect it. Advice is needed and appreciated thank you for your help.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hey guys I just wanted to talk about something I was feeling I feel so trapped and terrible I have a bad pornography addiction even back then idk what to do I'm 17 years old but basically I looked at some very obscure things on the Internet ranging from hentai or just even more messed up things when I was younger I think maybe early teens I remember randomly just started remembering things I saw now I do not remember if I acted on them or jerked off to them idk what to do I feel so ashamed trapped I feel like I can't enjoy life anymore for what I've done I been introduced to porn when I was young idk what to do I seem alot back then some memories pop certain ones I don't remember if I had pleasured myself to it it feels like I did I have so much shame if I did but idk what to do
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- Date posted
- 15w
18+ TW! Involves sexual content I have learning disabilities which means im always going to be 3-5 years mentally behind from my actual age… when I was 14 I remember finding people saying they work with kids “attractive” and I remember mastu*** over a kid around 5+ but when I was 14 I was either mentally age 11 or 9. So I didn’t know it was wrong, and as soon as I realised I stopped. People say I was young and it’s okay but I remember finding people saying they even walked past a nursery “attractive” but I don’t know if this is even the right word. Maybe cute? Because I find different emotions hard to tell the difference between, so maybe it’s cute rather than attractive. I never ever had intentions to do anything to younger individuals, it was just me finding people saying they worked with them etc attractive… which my ocd now plays on, because my friend mentioned they were working with kids but idk if it was the real me or not but I genuinely felt like I found it attractive and it was giving my so many groinal responses which then made me feel genuinely aroused like I wanted to do things. This plays on my mind because my ocd will always say “but you did/do find stuff like this attractive” but this literally stops me from eating, sleeping or anything. I can’t break from my compultions because what if I do genuinely find it attractive. I don’t think it’s even attractive maybe it’s cute? Like I find it cute… but cuteness can give people feelings down there I guess. I think because if my learning disabilities I found it hard to know the difference between “attraction” and cute so I did stuff over it because it gave me that feeling down there but that could of been cuteness feeling. I just need some support on this.
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