Just need to Vent…

I am so depressed… I really believe I don’t love my partner anymore… 😭💔💔 I know deep down I do but why do I have to feel this way! Last night before bed I cried badly holding him bc I thought that will be the last time.. then this morning I started crying again and he could tell how depressed I was by it… he gave me a hug and I started crying more… rubbing my head against his belly. 💔😭 No one has to respond I just need to vent so badly… I did a bad compulsion yesterday. Saying I didn’t love him to make myself feel better but it backfired bc I cried so badly after saying that.. 💔 No one understands when I say that it honestly feel like I don’t love him anymore… I want this to ROCD so badly… I am beyond depressed and numb… I keep testing my reactions still. Am I just bored or sick of him at this point!? That can’t be right when I had my biggest clarity moment and I was completely fine out of the blue. I knew I loved him a lot. But I haven’t felt a clarity moment in 20 days basically…. It’s killing me….

Relationship OCD

JLG323

Date posted: 3y

I have been reading tour posts for many months now. I'm sorry if saying this offends you but I've been thinking it for some time now. I think it would be a good idea for you to not post for a while. I could be wrong but I believe that your posting has become a compulsion without you realizing it. I can't tell you whether or not what you go through comes from ROCD oz the truth, I can't even tell myself because I struggle with that every single day, but I do feel that your posting has become unhealthy and will hinder your growth and healing. I hope you read this with an open mind and take heed.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@JLG323 I will stay away. I’m sorry

JLG323

Date posted: 3y

Please don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. I didn't mean to make you feel attacked and I sincerely apologize if I did. I just want to see you leave this loop. I know you can. It's freaking hard as hell but I know you got this. When you feel the need to post or confess or research, the only way you are going to begin to break that need is to resist it. I hope that one day we can both come out the other side of this without it having to result in what we fear to be the truth. But if we are, we gotta try man.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@JLG323 No it’s okay… just not doing great… I am starting to believe it is me… 💔 I don’t want it to be… but I really believe j wanna break up.. 💔😖 I love my partner very much I really do. But I have this huge urge to break up.. I am so sad and heartbroken about this…💔💔

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@JLG323 Don’t know if it’s bc Ive obsessed for so long.. I hugged him like a caring loving partner would.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@JLG323 I want this to be ROCD so very badly but it doesn’t seem like the case… 😭

JLG323

Date posted: 3y

I don't know either. But if we are choosing to treat this as OCD. Ruminating on it is only going to make it worse.

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@JLG323 ….my heart is breaking! 😭💔 I tried not to ruminate… I ruined my loving relationship!! 💔😭😭😭

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@JLG323 I still love him.. I just want things to go back to normal! 💔😭

7710 ❤️

Date posted: 3y

@JLG323 I am sorry.. I know I’ve been a pain… I am just scared… I’ve loved this man for so many years.. I don’t wanna end it.. I wanna fix any issues or problems we have… 💔😭 I wanna ignore that I believe I wanna end things. If I just listened to people my relationship could be healing i could’ve been healing.., 💔😭

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