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Username: Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

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OCD makes it hard to process feelings; can anyone relate to this struggle?

Feelings

It’s so weird how OCD just comes about with no explanation, out of nowhere. My issue has been feelings. I have moments of hyper focusing on feelings, trying to figure them out, and it’s exhausting. Logically, I know that what I’m going through with the things happening in my life (relationship ending that was abusive, my father just getting diagnosed with dementia, etc) would make anyone feel the way I do. But I keep trying to fight my feelings. “Normally, old me” would embrace them and let them be. Ever since my OCD returned, I can’t help but fixate on them and stress even more. It’s almost like my emotions and the way we are as humans in my mind has become even more of a problem than the problems themselves. Can anyone relate? I am doing my best with ERP. I definitely helps. But I’m still waking up not feeling like myself and it hurts.

"Pure" OCD

Username: CisforcaroCisforcaro

Date posted: 2y ago

This is what my existential OCD has decided to focus on this time and because it's new, I've been really struggling moving past it. I've had OCD about thoughts, words, time, distance, feeling dead already (what OP talked about) and now this. The depression after the panic and those exact questions have gone through my head. I'm feeling better, but the thought and the depression with it is still smoldering in the back of my mind.

Username: hellopeoplehellopeople

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes, totally relate. The feelings do feel real and like they are true but then analyzing them is exhausting. Emotions are just byproducts of living, not an area of actual truth. I’m sorry you’re going through a lot in your family/social life. I hope ERP keeps going well 💜

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@hellopeople It makes me anxious to think emotions aren’t true because of feelings aren’t true, what’s the point of being human? You know? I like to think emotions are true but thoughts aren’t.

Username: hellopeoplehellopeople

User type: NOCD Alumni

Date posted: 2y ago

@Taylor10 Yeah I see what you mean! Emotions exist and thoughts exist, but they don’t dictate what is true. I gave the example of it being Christmas, do I need to feel happy for it to be Christmas? Or will Christmas still happen not depending on if I feel happy or not?

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

normal*

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Yes! When I have days where the thoughts aren’t really around, I’m still feeling depressed. I’ve been dealing with this for a few months, but I wonder why I’m still stuck here. I just want it to go away! I hate when I start to focus on LIFE itself. It keeps me from just living my life and enjoying the little things like I used to. I miss being normal!

Username: CisforcaroCisforcaro

Date posted: 2y ago

Same! Usually my spikes last about 2 weeks, but this one is at the 2 week mark today and I still feel off. And yes it's like I question what it means to be human essentially? It makes me feel weird and numb and detached. I'm hoping I'm on the upswing though. Do you take medication? I do (Sertraline 200mg) and I recently went up after a spike 6 months ago in which I was obsessing about how we "see" stuff in our minds. That obsession faded away but now this new obsession is sticking around.

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

Oh it is so tough. I know trauma can cause this too. It’s like my mind tries to solve things that no one knows the answers to and it’s sooo annoying and maddening. When I do this, on top of being depressed, it makes me feel like everything is pointless. Which just reinforces the depression but I don’t know how to get out. I hate feeling so stuck and confused. Like nothing makes sense. I used to be obsessed with LIFE and just enjoyed the little things. My resiliency was so much stronger. Now, I feel lost and that old me and those old feelings seem like a delusion. I’m so tired of obsessing about life itself and human emotion and the human brain. I take 10 mg Lexapro, only been in it for a month now. I need to go up because I’m not really feeling much of a difference. This also bums me out because Lexapro worked wonders for me in the past at the dose I’m at now. Not sure what changed.

Username: CisforcaroCisforcaro

Date posted: 2y ago

YES. Sertraline (Zoloft) has always worked for me and so it does upset me that I went up 6 months ago and was better and now I'm back in this trap. And yes, the pointless feeling spikes my depression, which then spikes the anxiety which then creates a vicious circle.

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Cisforcaro Well I’m sorry you’re going though this. It helps to know we aren’t alone though. Yeah, I tried Sertraline and I didn’t feel a thing. My anxiety was so much worse. I gave it a try for 8 weeks and decided to give it up and go back to lexapro. I hope the lexapro starts working again.

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

on*

Username: CisforcaroCisforcaro

Date posted: 2y ago

I just remembered something that helped me before: we've always felt our feelings and knew what they were. Nothing is different and we were not hurt by those feelings. We are probably just numb from the stress or we got overwhelmed and our brains are just checked out

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Cisforcaro It’s weird that there’s a brain shift, you know? Sometimes I go back n forth between wondering if it’s OCD or complex trauma..since both overlap and have a lot of similarities. I’m reading a book called “The Body Keeps the Score” …I’m liking it so far. Helps me understand the way our brains work.

Username: CisforcaroCisforcaro

Date posted: 2y ago

@Taylor10 We got my husband that book when they finally realized he had PTSD from childhood abuse and not bipolar disorder! It's a good one .Tomorrow I get my OCD Workbook. Let's check in tomorrow okay?

Username: Tee10Tee10

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y ago

@Cisforcaro I’ll have to try that, let me know how it is! Sounds good 😊

Username: scottyboy

Date posted: 5y ago

Anxiety and Not wanting to feel feelings Since I started ERP and resisting rumination and rituals and controlling things I’ve noticed I have extra mental real estate. I’m not as consumed by my thoughts but my baseline anxiety is like 6/10 always. It’s pretty high. My brain keeps checking in and saying “you shouldn’t feel this way! This isn’t right! Google depersonalization! Google spacing out and brain fog!” But I know that’s OCDs game. So I just sit with the anxiety and try to move on with my day. Interestingly, once I strip away all of the rumination, compulsions and rituals all I’m left with is my own uncomfortable feelings that I don’t like. This leads me to conclude that ocd is just a way for me to try and control how I feel. I always wanna feel good and relaxed. Everyone does but that’s an unrealistic goal. Has anyone else come across this before?

Username: meg615

Date posted: 5y ago

I know any reassurance I get does not satisfy, it keeps coming back. Even if I think I have an answer, even if the answer is that I don’t have the answers and that’s okay, it does not last. The ocd will find a way to come back and make me question. But I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD still, I have gone through an eating disorder and severe malnourishment... and chemo. So I wouldn’t be surprised if my brain is just tired, exhausted, and trying to repair itself and my entire body. But even before all of that, I struggled with my brain. Someone would turn on a light switch, and my mind would be thrown completely off and I’d panic, if someone opened a door, my mind was thrown off, the color of the sky didn’t feel right, something didn’t feel right. And I spent hours to full days being thrown off and wondering why. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. And still to this day I don’t understand. I do not know if it’s OCD. My mind feels broken. I can’t concentrate and I can’t seem to focus on anything without feeling like I’m missing something and I have to figure something out and something is wrong. Not sure what the purpose of my writing this is, I guess I’m just processing some. If anyone has any thoughts, I’d love to hear:)

Username: Catlove9

Date posted: 52w ago

OCD coming in differently?

I do not even know how to explain what I am experiencing right now. It feels like I am not even myself and it feels like the thoughts are stronger than ever before and that they are more compelling? But I also do not feel like I’m inside my body so it’s making it extra scary. I’ve never experienced OCD like this before. I’ve been doing a lot better overall but now with this, I’m feeling doomed to just be what my thoughts say. It feels like I’ve lost my mind if I am being honest and every thing is triggering me. It does not feel like OCD this time. Any advice?

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OCD makes it hard to process feelings; can anyone relate to this struggle?

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