Oh my god…

@Brendan =] ….I don’t think I have ROCD anymore… I really don’t… I think I wanna break up… it hurts… 💔😢 I don’t wanna do it… my happy moments were lies….

@7710 ❤️ Notice how you said you think you wanna break up followed by I don’t wanna do it. Also, you’re believing that happy moments were lies. OCD has you right where it wants you. Also, with you feeling this way, you’ll probably continue to dwell, which feeds it more. Therapy is the way to start getting better. The sooner you call or find a specialist to begin ERP, the sooner you can start to conquer this.

@Brendan =] I am doing okay. I did feel better when I saw him. My other worry is having feelings for someone else which is causing me to stress out. I know I don’t want that person and I work with him. He’s a manager and has a huge relief he wasn’t there. I don’t look or talk to him bc he’s a trigger. My brain makes me think I have crushes on everyone and I don’t want to act on it at all. I love my partner and I don’t want to be with someone else.

@Brendan =] I am still scared. I don’t want to be with others. That’s why I like leaving work early.

@Brendan =] I was fine asked him for a kiss and told him I love you but now I’m back at square 1 again….

@7710 ❤️ Again, sadly, I’m not going to be able to provide enough or be able to take away your pain as much as I wish I could. I will say, however, that it seems like you’re going back and forth trying to find certainty and checking your feelings. This is just prolonging your OCD and continuing the battle. Try to get out of your head and back to your body. Focus on your senses. Have you called NOCD about a first appointment?

@Maxime1701 No it’s not okay! 😭😭I’m in denial!!

@Brendan =] I don’t even feel numb.. or anxiety.. 😰

@7710 ❤️ This is rumination and a search for certainty. Self-assurance or reassurance from others doesn’t work because you’ll only experience relief for a short while and will just need more and more until you’re constantly craving it. The whole time, OCD is making you give into its wishes and has you at its control. What you need to do is apply skills here that are healthy.

@7710 ❤️ Avoidance due to fear. This is OCD controlling you yet again. Exposures will help with this once you have the necessary foundation and framework.

@Brendan =] I truly think about breaking up but I don’t want to I think.

@7710 ❤️ That’s one of the core thoughts that most people with ROCD think. I was in the same boat myself.

@Brendan =] I was doing fine on and off yesterday. I knew I love him and then started thinking is I’m happy with him. Then thought about my friends relationship. I love staying home and so does my partner. So I don’t mind being home. We are more i door people.

@Brendan =] I started crying about my happy moments. I want that back!