I’ve been doing pretty good these past couple of weeks. But a few days ago I saw my ex driving and all the sudden thought “do I care where he’s going right now” and ever since then I’ve been obsessing and having intrusive thoughts like “what if I wanna go back to him and leave my boyfriend” and stuff like that. Keep in mind this guy was my first boyfriend in high school and I broke up with him almost a year and a half ago. I am so so in love with my current boyfriend, he makes me the happiest girl ever and I don’t think I could have a better relationship. My ex was clingy and insecure and honestly now that I look back at him, not very attractive. I have never had these thoughts about him before and they’re causing me soo much anxiety. I’ve been having panic attacks and crying constantly and I haven’t been eating. I don’t know why I feel this way, it’s like I feel like I “have “ to go back to him or something or I just get this overwhelming feeling like I maybe want him back. I’ve been tackling this so much and I just feel like I’m back to square one. When I think about being with my ex it makes me cringe and sick to my stomach so I can’t believe it’s effecting me this much. I literally keep saying in my head that I wish he was dead or that I wouldn’t care if he died. I know that’s messed up but in a way it sometimes makes me feel better but honestly just need to see a few people comment and give me their wisdom. This is so hard

The fact it bothers you so much makes it very clear it’s just an OCD thought. Try to remember that before you were triggered by seeing him you were not at all focused on this. Accept that this is your OCD focusing on something, in this case that you want to leave your boyfriend for your ex, because it’s the exact opposite of what you want and because your boyfriend is so important to you. Try to reframe the thought as oh that’s just my ocd reminding me I don’t want to go back to my ex. Resist from asking for reassurance and the more you can try to accept the thought and stop yourself from performing the whole ritual you mentioned above where you mentally review how you feel about your ex, the easier it will be to let the thoughts go without reacting. Eventually they will fade. It won’t be easy but the most important thing to remember is that what your ocd is telling you is something that would cause you distress, not something you want. Also try meditation. Hope that helps

I’m dealing with the same shit. I just got married, and my theme has been focused on my ex (my daughters mother) for the past couple of months. I’m so in love with the girl I married and I think I’m honestly just having a hard time dealing with the fact that I could have ever loved anyone before her, and the fact that I cannot write my ex out of my life.

Funny you say this- I think you’re an empathic person- you dated people, you see them and knew the good parts of them... you have “soul” tie connection. Knowing this is key to moving forward... it’s because you’re genuine and you care for all who have been close to you. It’s a burden...

We can always obsess over what could be or what could not be... know that you have a genuine persona - you always cared even if it broke in half. It’s easily to obsess over... because you’re empathetic ... you give a **** about people even if they are exes

I really appreciate these comments, I see what you’re both saying. thank you