- Username
- Blackbird04
- Date posted
- 2y ago
How bad can ROCD really get?
Ive been dealing with pretty intense ROCD for about 9 months, triggered by a huge life event - which was getting married! At first this was completed debilitating when it hit. I couldnt eat, I couldn't sleep, I could barely work, I could hardly function at all. I stopped at my hobbies. I was surviving/existing. It was devastating. I got into therapy with someone who had experience of ROCD and things seemend to improve. I dont know if it was the therapy (we never got to ERP) or just that I gradually started living my life again that things improved. Things were much better for about 3 months, then something triggered it again. It wasnt as bad as it was originally but still very difficult to deal with. My husband and I did get married and although ROCD was still present we had a lovely day and I remember saying to myself 'gosh I must have been really unwell to think I didnt want this' then after the wedding, ROCD slowly crept back in with things like 'you just forced yourself to get married' 'you didnt really want a future' 'you know this cant be right' and I'm just at a loss at what to do. Can ROCD really make you believe this stuff? Im thinking I should try to get back into therapy but its so expensive (Im in UK so would have to pay full price) Im terrified that doing ERP will make me realise that I should leave even though that absolutely breaks my heart. I suppose I just want to know I am not alone. I see stories about ROCD but they always seem to be people in long distance, or new relationships or troubled relationships. My story isn't like that. Can anyone relate or give me any words of hope?