I hate to say this but I want my anxiety back the severe one… I want my feelings back! I want to love him like before!!! I want my relationship back to normal again!! 😭😭😭💔💔💔💔 I don’t wanna say goodbye!! I don’t wanna end it!!! Please this can’t be me!!! I don’t want my life to change without him!!
Thirty days? I’ve been on my theme for two years 😞
@68273 I’ve been dealing with ROCD for 8 years. But was always able to control it but realized I’ve been handling it in the wrong way. But it’s been the worse it’s ever been but I can only imagine what you must be going thru… if it is like me then I am so sorry you’ve been dealing with this… 😢💔 I wish things could get easier but I know it will take time.. you’re pretty strong for feeling this way for 2 years though. How did you get by day by day?
I canceled a wedding four months before wedding when my ocd first began. I didn’t know at the time I had ocd.
You can do the same , stop telling yourself it’s true or not true but instead just stay in the relationship and let yourself feel the anxiety w out engaging with the thoughts
🥹 do you do erp?
@68273 No! 😢 I never did!… I think I wanna break up… 😰 I don’t wanna break up with him… I feel too normal…
So you have the thoughts w no anxiety?
@68273 I don’t wanna break up!!! I don’t wanna do it! I know I love him!! This can’t be it!!! What if I am just with him bc I am used to him or bc I don’t wanna be alone… 😭😭
@68273 Please respond!!! This can’t be! I want my relationship back to normal again!! I don’t wanna break up!!
@7710 ❤️ You don’t need to break up. It’ll pass . You need to speak to a therapist .
@NS1234 This hasn’t passed at all… for 30 days…
@NS1234 I don’t want to make a decision to break up bc I don’t want to… this can’t be me!!? This has to be ROCD!!
@NS1234 Do I just want a better life without him!?!
@NS1234 Do I want to love him!? Do I just not want a life with him anymore! 😢 this has to be ROCD!? This can’t be me!!?
@NS1234 I didn’t feel like this before it happened!? I was obsessing but still knew somewhere I loved him.. 😰😰 this isn’t real!! I don’t want this!!! Have my happy moments were liesbbn
Then stay
Don't make any decision when you are struggling
@vale This doesn’t seem like ROCD anymore….
Same w me
We’ll it actually has been twelve years but this theme for two years
@68273 12 is a very long time to deal with this issue. I’ve been diagnosed with severe separation anxiety. Due to my father walking in and out of my life and suffered a lot of mental trauma due to my mothers anger and me always trying to ease her by cleaning non stop when I was young. Out of all my siblings I have the worst anxiety issues. I always suffered alot with it. Erp I heard and have done a lot of research on it. Scared to try it. Wanna find a more gentle approach to handle things. But may I ask what caused your ROCD?
My themes change
I have tried erp before but I got worse so now I engage in compulsions to make me feel better
I have a lot of trauma , GAD , PTSD, and PureO. I don’t know if my ocd is because of trauma or genetic, but I’m guessing genetics. I’ve had many different themes throughout these years including Harm, POCD, ROCD among others.
Now, I have days with rocd and some days my themes switch. I’m trying to catch myself ruminating and just trying to stop. For instance , today I had thoughts when I was w my husband and it caused me so much anxiety, I just said to myself, “maybe that is true, maybe it’s not but right now I want to be with him and I’m staying with him” after about an hour of just trying to do that, my anxiety finally came down
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
I had a massive falling out with my person before I got diagnosed with ocd and specifically rOCD. It wasn’t all me of course but not knowing I had ocd at all and believing all my thoughts and feeling in that time made that relationship really strained!! I miss them so much, I know so much more about myself now but all they know of me is me having a complete ocd meltdown and all the bad traits that come with that….because I didn’t know what was going on. Their version of me would be so different to me now. I want them back in my life so badly, sorry :( just needed to express that. I miss them so much. I was so safe and comfortable with them.
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. I’m scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesn’t this mean that this is what would happen or I don’t know till it happens? I still can’t imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus that’s also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how I’d just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. I’m just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe that’s part of the issue cause I haven’t been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and I’ve been told that’s ocd but it’s affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And I’m Scared why don’t memories and things affect me like it used to doesn’t that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end 😭
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