Catastrophizing Thoughts

My OCD got really bad to the point I stopped working for a year. I slowly got back into work and now I’m in a full time admin job 2 years later. It started off fine but now I’ve reached the 6 month park I’m overthinking everything. Checking things I’ve done. Have I done this right? Have I done this wrong. Im asking for reassurance. I even broke down the other day at work in front of a colleague of mine because I’d been filling out a from wrong. The thing is, I’m not making excuses. But this particular type of admin work I’ve never done before - so it’s all new. I was trained by one person who’s told me before that she’s had to train herself. That’s not to say the mistakes I make are because of her teaching, more so because I’ve never done this line of work before. Im worried I’ll go back to how I used to. This is a good paying job and I’m anxious and worried I’ll become sick again to the point of having to go off of work. Does this happen to anyone else/ how are they dealing with it.

Anne M

Date posted: 2y

Promise you’re not alone in this. I broke down in my office this morning because I forgot to add my signature to a form. For me, it feels like every small mistake adds up on a tally in other ppls heads and they slowly lose respect for me. Wish I knew how to shake that mindset but it made me feel better knowing it’s not just me who gets upset over stuff like that. And being new to something is a totally valid excuse.

Anne M

Date posted: 2y

Yeah usually my husband has no clue what I’m talking about 😅 it’s usually just a way to spew my panicked thoughts so that my co workers get a more calm version of me. It’s not really fair of me to constantly vent to him my concerns but he’s good at telling me when he needs a break. I guess my problem is taking my stressors home with me instead of facing them at work.

.Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Thank you for commenting that you don’t realise how much that’s helped me. Ive rang my manager a few times but I can’t keep ringing him for reassurance, because at the end of that day it doesn’t make me look confident to do my job. I look back at things I’ve done a few months ago and think ah I shouldn’t have done that and then it makes me feel like I need to run to my manager to tell him? Even though at the time my colleague who trained me advised me on what to do. I feel like if something was to happen I can’t really blame her or point to her even though it was advised to do something. It makes me feel more anxious as I’m almost setting myself up for something to happen? Sorry if that went on a bit I’m just really glad I’m not the only one!

Anne M

Date posted: 2y

Don’t worry I get it. Obviously it depends on the job but what I do is I’ll call someone I’m close to outside of work when I’m overwhelmed and need reassured. My spouse can usually see the issue more clearly and tell me if I’m overreacting. Sorry I’m making a lot of assumptions here but I hope that helps

.Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

To be honest I’d be screwed without my girlfriend. She’s honestly my rock. I just know through therapy I shouldn’t ask for reassurance but it only makes me want to ask more. I just worry as they don’t know my job like I do can they really reassure me - I know it’s stupid but just how my brain works

.Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

It makes sense honestly, I do that with my partner all the time. Half the time I’m explaining to her I know she’s thinking what am I going on about lol. I hope you have a better day at work tomorrow☺️. Feel free to post back on here if you want

Anne M

Date posted: 2y

Thanks! Good luck with everything

Anonymous

Date posted: 21w

Advice on getting by?

Hi! I’m new to the NOCD community, but I’ve been dealing with OCD since I was 12. I’m almost 29 now, and my biggest issue is health anxiety. It’s gotten to the point where getting work done is nearly impossible because i can’t stop spiraling. I’m lucky that i work remotely, but also makes it easier to be in my own head… Asking for advice - how do you all deal with the intense anxiety and are able to make it through a 9-5 work day? Any suggestions on how I can actually be productive? Thank you!

uncertain_Aly

Date posted: 21w

Does OCD impact your ability to get to work?

Often times I find myself spiraling out in the morning about all sorts of things. When I try and catch myself and figure out what I am obsessing over it’s like it goes away. I haven’t moved. I have been sitting frozen on the floor because I can’t go to work because I am behind on work and I hate being late and I hate being messy but I am frequently late and my room is cluttered and full of stuff. I want to be good and move and go to work but I don’t know what is coming today and I hate my job so I know I will get bored and when I have nothing to keep me busy and engaged I like start thinking and taking an inventory of what is going on and then I will feel a sensation and what is the sensation? How did it happen? And I know that I will pick up the bad emotions in the office and get contaminated, I was really worried about things like this as a kid too I cried because I had to touch dirt in kindergarten. I know I am this way and I have been this way for a while but at the same time I think I might just be normal and like I don’t know why I get stuck in thinking like this. Then I begin to doubt that OCD is real because everyone has a brain with wiring and everyone gets stuck in thought sometimes. I feel disabled from whatever this is because I am stuck. I literally cannot move because I don’t know what’s wrong and I know I have to go to work even though I feel like every moment I spend there is making everything worse because other people are so stressed and I get it from them. And I don’t feel ready because I just feel off and something is wrong and I just don’t know what to do because if it’s OCD or not OCD everything anyone knows about me is coming from me and I worry that I am often masking all the thinking I’m doing because thinking all the time is rude and inconsiderate and inconvenient for those around me, but I can’t stop. I just don’t feel right, right now - and I want to know WHY?? Why is everything off all the time? How do I even know that I am not making up the experience of OCD in my head to cover up something really wrong with me and now I am taking on the symptoms of OCD like an actress, because this could be something that I can latch onto as a final hope for explaining why I am stuck. So stuck so deeply and terribly stuck sitting on my floor next to my bed just scrolling to avoid thinking because any time I start thinking I am left with no answers or help or anything just this swirly feeling. I know I am trying, maybe not my best, but as much as I possibly can. I want to be a Special Education Teacher but I have so much so so so much doubt and uncertainty about every decision I make and everything I know that I can’t get there right now. I can’t do anything right now until it feels ok and then I will. It never feels ok. I know I have to be ok not feeling ok about it. I can be unsure and still be ok. I know it’s just my thinking and my body but I just can’t get past this feeling. And then I know that because I can calm myself and be ok even though I spent 2 hours of my life today already feeling stuck and spinning around and around and around in my head - I don’t feel sure about my OCD and I think it’s a bit of a scam made up by people to cultivate pathology around deep human thought because one day I might figure it out and we all think a lot.

Cara H.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Work related OCD

Does anyone have OCD regarding always feeling like you are not good enough at your job? I'm 58 years old now I've had OCD since childhood. Every job I've been at I never felt as good as my colleagues. I am a nurse but I worked at that for 15 years I had a breakdown of sorts in 2017 and went on disability. I now work part time as a a swim instructor for kids. I always was afraid of killing someone when I was a nurse. Then I tried dog grooming but I was afraid I would do it wrong and hurt the dogs. At least now the stakes are lower. But my OCD is the same. I work with colleagues who are about 40 years younger than I am . I am afraid of teaching certain classes bc I feel like I wouldn't do as good a job as someone else. I know I can do it but it's like I have a fear of not giving them their money's worth. I've been at my current job for 2 years . I've gotten very positive comments from my managers but I can't seem to believe them. I feel a lot of shame bc I lost a lot of my life to OCD and I am at an age where people are starting to retire after long and successful careers and here I am working at an entry level job. I'm planning on trying to get out of my comfort zone and teaching some of the classes I'm afraid of .it's really hard. I'm always scared what if I lose my benefits and had to work again as a nurse how would I do it.

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Catastrophizing Thoughts

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