- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
It is OCD! It's called false memories OCD! I have it, and I have real event OCD where you obsess over memories or mistakes from past which is extremely painful. It's so frustrating nobody talks about those types of OCD! Just calm down. I know I'm not supposed to give you reassurance but that really sounds to me like they were just joking with you. If that happened few years ago you would definitely found out until now. You need to accept the uncertainty, but my opinion is it was just very insensitive joke.
- Date posted
- 6y
This is absolutely DISGUSTING! I am fucking appalled that there are people who gang bang and then tape it ! WHAT?!? I want to throw up! ? this says ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about your character and absolutely everything about theirs! They are the scum not you! You deserve everything good in life!
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you all for your responses! ❤️ yes it’s disgusting and I couldn’t believe the videos I even came across of people. Deep down I know it was an insensitive joke and I would’ve felt it if I was violated. My therapist talked me through this, but the what if question always pops in my head because I was blacked out from drinking. I wish I had never went checking online because it just made it worse coming across videos and obsessing it could be me.
- Date posted
- 6y
@venom me looking up the videos in the first place is ocd reassurance seeking. I’m definitely traumatized from the experience but I think the ocd part in all this is when I look at a video I find something that makes me say oh it’s not me, and then my ocd doubt kicks in saying what if it is you? The last thing my therapist said to me about this type of searching is to tell myself I will never find evidence so I should just let it go.
- Date posted
- 6y
Also I have pure o and real event ocd so I always think my past actions will bring the worst consequences. I was looking up videos in general thinking some ex secretly raped me or something. And being in a relationship I constantly find things to confess to my boyfriend or thinking of a memory that makes me not deserve him. It’s so exhausting.
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s what CBT and behavior modification would certainly help you coping with the uncertainty nature of your induced OCD
- Date posted
- 6y
I also have a confession compulsion. I know how you feel because our type of OCD is the least talked about but it is so painful cause it's connected to something that really happened. If you want to talk about all of this just write in this app, I will try to answer you. I know what you're going through and you're definitely not alone, I am with you ❤
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t think that’s a type of ocd, but a trauma? Definitely! Cause you’re almost certain it was you based on the timing, location and description and it is devastating not knowing the facts, hope you’ll get pass it
- Date posted
- 6y
And life’s full of lessons
- Date posted
- 6y
*taped not raped...sorry for all the comments. I don’t think I fully explained myself in the original post, it is certainly a trauma but it’s ocd mixed into it. I have the urge to check the video and other videos multiple times, and I get relief after convincing myself it’s not me, only to have the urge to check again not too long after. For the past few weeks I haven’t checked and that’s what’s making my anxiety go up because I’m not getting the reassurance I need.
- Date posted
- 6y
You’re right, but I’m unemployed and broke at the moment, and feel bad messaging my on and off ocd therapist of 10 years every trigger I have when I’m not paying her (she messages what she can but I can tell when I’ve gone overboard with her) . When I do get a job I’m terrified I won’t be able to function or sleep properly because of untreated ocd relapses and being off my meds (no insurance anymore). This group is all I seem to have at the moment.
- Date posted
- 5y
Yıllar geçmis ama yine de yazayım dedim ben de türküm ama ingilizcem yetmedi okumaya :d
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I am a girl's in my twenties. I got diagnosed with OCD last year. I have a boyfriend, sadly we're long distance right now. I've liked boys all my life. It's very difficult to sustain intimacy in a long distance relationship. Sometimes I have intimate calls with my boyfriend and it's nice. Other times, however, (and I am not proud of it) I do watch porn. I started watching porn when I was 16. I've tried to quit it many times but every couple of weeks I go back to it. And as everyone knows, one of the MANY problems with it is that your brain will always ask for more. More taboo things, more explicit things. I have a daddy kink. I've roleplayed with my boyfriend and watched porn of this kink. Now, the thing is that my brain keeps telling me that I won't orgasm unless I think of little girls being ab*sed. I've never looked for that on the internet, I never want to either. I am under EXTREME DISTRESS, because what my brain tells me feels SO REAL, and it's like my pleasure gets blocked and that contributes to me thinking my brain must be right. It wasn't like this before. I want to go back. I'm scared it will be like this forever now.
- Date posted
- 14w
A couple of days ago I felt asleep on the coach, and it was 12:50 am when I woke up, so I had to go to my room which is in the other floor (my room is in the first floor and the living room is in the second floor, the architecture is weird but my house is a duplex apartment), in order to go to my room I had to walk through the hallway and my 12-year old brother’s room is nearby, so I felt a lot of anxiety and I was recording a video as proof that I didn’t do anything wrong, the problem is my video wasn’t sent, so I didn’t have proof, reassurance, but I still went downstairs to get to my room, I don’t know what to do, frankly I don’t wanna continue, please can someone help me, I think this is false memory ocd and sexual ocd, but please please help me, I can’t do this anymore, I can’t study I can’t focus on Anything else but this, and my mind really thinks I have done something to my brother, that I have raped him or that I have sexually abused him, I seriously can’t stop thinking about that, and whenever I focus on something else, my mind tells me that I shouldn’t focus on anything else because how can I? “If you rape your little brother you shouldn’t focus on something else” and my mind also thinks that I shouldn’t stop thinking about this because If I stopped my memories could become blurry or could seem like very far away memories, and I wanna have clear memories. Please please help me , I honestly don’t wanna go on, don’t wanna live anymore. I live in Peru, so there are not many expert therapists about ocd or false memory/ sexual ocd, please help
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w
Hi guys! I had really bad harm ocd about 2 years ago and I went through therapy and eventually got really good at handling it when it would pop up. The other day, I was scrolling on TikTok and came across a girl talking about a guy who was presenting a lot of schizophrenic symptoms but no one paid attention and got him help, he was having a lot of delusions, hallucinating, thinking everyone was out to get him, thought he was Jesus and his dad was the president and ended up doing horrific things. The day after that, I was dealing with some work drama and had the thought of “what if all my coworkers are against me and trying to get me fired”. That really stressed me out, cause I don’t normally think about them like that and I went down a rabbit hole of thinking that was the beginning of me developing schizophrenia, ended up googling stuff all night, taking tests, crying and seeking reassurance. I had a thought the other day “your dad is the president”, this one didn’t stress me out as bad as I knew it was just the video I had seen and it was an intrusive thought about it, and I also didn’t believe it. Today I was with some friends and I got a prize at a place we went and it said “lonely” on it. I do have my moments of feeling lonely and this week has been specifically trying so I had a thought like “oh someone’s out to get me cause I got this”. I know this isn’t logical and it wouldn’t make sense to just randomly get it if someone was truly after me and it was just a stupid prize at a random place, anyone could’ve gotten it. Im just struggling a lot with schizophrenic OCD and thinking I’m in the pre stages of it. In my good moments, I don’t think I am at all and it was all just sparked from the video I watched but in my bad moments, these thoughts feel real!! They really stress me out and make me feel like I’m going to lose my mind causing me to lose my job/ end up in a psych hospital/ never live a normal life/ end up alone, never see me my loved ones/ hurt my loved ones. I just want to feel normal and not like I’m about to lose my mind and everything I care about. Please help!!! Anyone else going through something similar and can help me get through this!
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