I broke up with my boyfriend a couple days ago and I felt clear about the reasons and had talked it over with some people I trust. He’s just asked if I broke up with him because of my ocd and him asking that didn’t sit right with me. I don’t believe that it was because of my ocd but was that even a fair question for him to ask? I really don’t know so it’d be great to get some advice.
Tell him whilst you understand why he’s questioning if that’s the reason it’s not and you don’t appreciate him tying everything down to your OCD. You have your own feelings and can think for yourself and this is the decision you have made.
@thrutheweather Thank you I said that it wasn’t my ocd and he asked how I knew which also kind of made me a bit mad and then I said that not everything I think is ocd
@becca.a.h He said “hm” and I don’t know how to respond
@becca.a.h I honestly wouldn’t bother replying to him. He doesn’t sound nice just from the two comments you’ve made 🤣. This sounds like borderline gaslighting.
@thrutheweather Yea I’m definitely surprised by his comments
@becca.a.h He’s probably hurt. Keep your head up doll! Focus on what you’re doing and what you want.
@thrutheweather Thank you!
I’m going to respectfully give my honest opinion here: if he knows that you have OCD/ ROCD and he knows it can impact the feelings in a relationship and your feelings regarding it, I think the questions he asked are perfectly appropriate, or at the very least, understandable. ROCD constantly makes people question their relationships and if their partner is right. People with ROCD feel the urge to end their relationships in hopes of mental peace. Being broken up with is painful and makes people feel hurt and insecure. I understand how his questions could be viewed as annoying but he is likely trying to process his feelings and figure out if he did something wrong or maybe if he isn’t as good or lovable as he views himself. I know if I were broken up with I’d do a lot of self-questioning. Please keep in mind I don’t know anything about this relationship. I don’t know how long it lasted, how close you were, what his feelings were towards you, what you told him about your OCD, what your OCD patterns are like, or what he’s researched. This response is based only on what you’ve said. We’re always here for you.
Hi - I’ve made a series of posts about my situation over the past few weeks. My bf asked to take a break from our relationship through text the first week of April. We haven’t spoken since. There’s a lot of outward details to this but I’ll try to keep it as simple as possible. My ocd is telling me the worst of the worst. He left me with full uncertainty because he didn’t give me a reason, and his decision felt like it happened overnight and I’m still so confused. He’s never been in a relationship as serious as this before. I’m incredibly hurt and angry, and my emotions get worse on Saturday and Friday nights because that’s when his frat parties happen. I do ERP phrases but my stomach hurts and it’s churning so bad. I deactivated/deleted social media apps for now because it’s too much. I just wish this physical feeling would stop. Does anyone have tips?
Recently my ocd keeps asking me if I love my boyfriend enough and that if I don’t love him enough I should breakup with him. It’s really bothering me and idk what to do about it. Sitting in the uncertainty is too much and I fear sitting with it too long I’m just gonna crack and give in to a compulsion.
Everyday I wake up and start searching for reason to breakup with my partner. I feel utterly confused by relationships and dating. Not to mention, I’m autistic and this has always been a huge struggle for me. In fact, it led me to both diagnoses of ASD and OCD. I can see there are some things I am not happy with in my current relationship and I understand that, but when does it become too much? I started having limerence over a random person because my brain just wants an out so fast. I told myself that I wouldn’t until I get proper help (medication, constant erp therapy etc). Every time I think about breaking up I start sobbing and my body vehemently rejects it. Its really confusing and disorienting for me and cant trust a damn thought in me. I’m scared that I’m just taking him along for the ride and potentially will severely fuck him up emotionally because of this. I guess thats where I can feel the OCD. My fear of being a bad person and the people around me being bad people. I dont know if I need advice because I think this may be me searching for a compulsion to do. But I just want to get this out of my system. I have severe Disney-like unrealistic expectations sometimes. I had to maladaptive daydream all the time growing up to get out of my traumatic upbringing and brain (tbh). I still do. I am aware of that and try to put myself into check. I just cant stop comparing my friends own beautiful relationships to my own. Most of them are in the “engagement” stage of their relationships. Even though it’s ridiculous, all of them have worked on it for many years at this point.
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