I don’t want to accept that I don’t love him anymore… 😢 I don’t wanna accept that it could do be me that wants to break up. I know if I told him maybe things can be normal again. That me and him can be closer together like before. My heart is breaking bc it’s like just love him as a friend when I know I love him more than that. I don’t want to be the end for us both.. 😞
ROCD doesn't care about "proof" no matter what it will just keep doubting everything. Since ROCD does not care we have to sit with uncertainty because there is nothing we can do with the constant doubts it will just keep going. Seeking reassurance won't help because as I said no matter what, it will keep going. From the sounds of it, it doesn't seem like you have gotten help yet.
@Angela_89 It’s too late… 😞 I’m worried if I got help it wouldn’t matter… 😞 I don’t know how real ROCD can get but if this is ROCD man it’s powerful. I want things to be normal again.. I know change needs to happen but I didn’t want to change without. I constantly think and believe I don’t love him anymore. I try to sit with it but it’s still the same.. this is my first long term relationship… My heart hurts badly by thinking it might end… 😢 I believe I am living a lie… There are no intrusive thoughts just me constantly reading into my feelings and asking myself questions… I ask do I want someone better…. Do I want to be with my partner… do I truly love him… I was freaking out before we got intimate and started crying… I love him a lot. I am worried not as strongly
@Angela_89 😞
It's possible that you may have been ruminating so much that you have disconnected with yourself that you disconnected with other things outside of you. You need treatment it's clear you are having intrusive thoughts, these thoughts you are having that you are stressing excessively over isn't normal
@Angela_89 Is that even possible..
@Angela_89 How bad can ruminationing get!
@Angela_89 ??
@Angela_89 It got worse when I thought I had a crush on someone else and it drove me insane completely. Causing me to compare my partner and that person. I know I don’t want that person so I know ROCD caused that. My depression got really really bad afterwards
I really don’t wanna break up. I want to stay. But how can I when I think I don’t love him and think I’m not attracted to him anymore… 😢
I’m scared my relationship won’t be able to come back from this… 😞
Is just knowing I still love him enough? 😢💔 I don’t wanna break up…
If I believe I don’t love him as a lover than why am I still with him!? Why do I stay!? I just want it back!! I want my relationship back! 😭💔
I still give him hugs and kisses. I still show love! Why can’t that be proof enough!!
But what you just described ARE all intrusive thoughts from the ROCD. I’ve totally been there. One thing I really struggled with was thinking that I was sitting with the doubt but later learning that what I was doing was actually ruminating - like just sitting with the ROCD. It took time with a therapist to learn the difference and how to actually get out of it. I’m still in the process tho. But I read what you are typing and it sounds so so much like the inside of my head before really getting help regularly with a therapist. Wishing you the best. I know it feels so so horrible.
@Ms.Overwhelm It doesn’t feel that way anymore….
Can me ruminating so much cause me to not love my partner? 😞 I am super numb right now.
I just want my happiness back… it makes me truly believe I never loved him at all… 💔 I just want to love him. But I get this nagging feeling I don’t. Which causes my depression to worsen. My depression is getting worse and I honestly need help…
Always worried that I’m bored of my partner or we have nothing in common anymore… 😞 I just never wanted to see him leave… don’t know if I am just attached to him or if I truly love him or not anymore… 😞 when he is gone to hang out with his friends for the night I cry since it’s the only time I can… I don’t want him to see me cry anymore…. Work all I do is hide to look up stuff…. My depression is super bad… 😞 I am just unhappy in everything in life…
I constantly eat my pain away… a coworker says I look very sick. My partner says concerned that I look and act like a robot. I constantly believe bad things will always happen to me so I constantly think of everything bad in my life…
I’ve never been super attracted to this person before… I wanna leave my job bc of it… 😢
Proves more of my point of that you should get treatment, clearly this isn't normal.
I hate hearing love is a choice… when I constantly feel nothing for him… it hurts… when I am loving him it’s like I am faking it and leading him on… I avoid sex completely bc of it… I want to love him like before. I want to cuddle and hold him tightly… it’s everyday now… it’s like if I talk to him about this it’s like I am gonna break up with him… I just want to love him peacefully again. I’ve had mild ROCD for years and NEVER did it feel like this… It’s like I gave into and just want to give up but I know I don’t want to. I know if I leave I will wanna be with him again. It’s like my brain has flatlined when it comes to him…
I really need someone to talk to… just to vent… if not.. i just need get this out and everything can ignore if they want.… I don’t know what to do… I know I’ve been severely obsessing for 2 year about if I truly love my partner or not for 2 years… I am severely saddened about how I feel right now…. Before I knew I wanted to love him and stay.. it felt genuine like I was really mentally sick… but now… my partner looks like a stranger to me, I get annoyed at him easily even if he’s just sitting still… it’s like he’s a different person to me and I hate it… I wanted so badly for me to know if I love him or not… and it’s like our time together never happened… I don’t cuddle talk or do much of anything anymore with him and it bothers me… I feel no emotional connection with him… maybe his flaws are too much for me… 😢😢 I don’t know…. I want to love him again like before but I completely feel like I’m lying to him and myself… I don’t wanna end my relationship I really don’t want to… I do t know how badly ROCD can get but… this is the worst I’ve ever had… my relationship is gonna die… 😢 I’m sitting here quietly crying while he is asleep….
How can I believe that this is ROCD when there are some proof? Like… I know my ROCD could have exaggerated things.. I know when I am calm I love him and hug him. But this morning was bad.. I started crying when he told me he loved me… before he got of the car I hugged him super hard… I can’t shake this off… I wanna accept his flaws… when I don’t overthink I know I love him.. some parts of him I know I dislike and I told him what thoses things are…. I know relationships go thru rough patches.. I wanna fix it! It’s like my brain is trying to force me to run away.. My friend told me that my relationship is fine. It’s just both of our mental states are to blame for why our relationship is struggling…. I just want my relationship back.. if we break up.. I don’t know if I can handle another relationship again.. I can’t… I just don’t want to
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
