- Username
- Dev
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s total ocd - I had that for a while in high school when I’d need to know people weren’t mad at me, or that I was okay with who I was dating, that they still liked me. It sounds like (if this helps you rationalize that your thoughts and actions are ocd, it might make it easier for you to log it in the app) your obsession is worrying whether someone will be there for you & your compulsion is reassurance. It took me YEARS to realize that my need to get reassurance from people is actually a form of ‘checking’. The same way one person makes sure the stove is off? I would do that with getting reassurance from people... your exposure can be, not following up. It’s hard, but if you are open with family and friends about it, you can always tell them not to coddle you with responses. It sucks but it’s helpful... it breaks your habits.
To me that definitely sounds like OCD. I was like this back when my husband and I started dating in high school. I know it’s hard but trust in relationships is extremely important and you have to accept the fears and choose to act differently. Maybe just send a text saying “what’s up?” And just WAIT for a response. This REALLY helped me back in high school. Maybe your bf is just not a phone ? guy. Maybe he doesn’t like to call or text. My hubby actually hates making phone calls so I make a lot of calls for him. There was even one time in college when he and I didn’t talk or text for 2 months. I was FREAKING OUT but he just assumed everything was good. Turns out he didn’t put minutes on his phone. Some ppl are just that chill and assume all is good.
I’m no doctor but I do similar things at work where I do repetitive unnecessary tasks. People at work look at me like I am crazy, and I don’t want them to think that, but I just have to do them if something is the least bit off in my mind. Major overkill but I have to.
My whole comment didn’t post! - the rest was... your compulsion is reassurance. It took me years to realize but asking for reassurance aka looking for a response is just another form of ‘checking’ - the same way one person checks the stove to make sure it’s off 50 times before leaving the house, is the same thing you’re doing with your phone. Your exposure can be leaving your phone elsewhere for a period of time. Stay strong hun!
Yeah I just want us to be good all the time. I apologize and bite my tongue against disrespect because of wanting someone there for me...which might not be ocd but my ocd tendencies come into play
And also I’ve tried leaving my phone in my car but when I have a thought it’s hard to not go and txt someone you know? But I’ve gotten better at being logical with myself and telling myself what I want and need aren’t the same thing
That’s great that you’re separating the two! And totally, I think most people who have OCD are extremely empathetic people... just because you care doesn’t mean it’s necessarily a symptom, it just spirals because of the way our brains are wired. Don’t you worry though, you got this.
Thank you! I’m staying single rn and focusing on me which will cut a lot of stress BUT there are other OCD tendencies that I do that I’ll need to control
Thanks for the encouragement
Hi guys! I believe I have an OCD since I was around 12. I remember then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about religious things and I had a counting compulsion (I thought that If I don't count to 8 in specific moments, someone gets hurt) During later years it was really changing - I stopped being religious, so the OCD theme also stopped. Then I had I reckon SOCD, harm OCD and many others. But for know my main topic is ROCD. But because of the fact that this is my main intrusive thoughts topic I start to have this awful thoughts that this is not OCD, I'm just with the wrong person and I need to accept this fact. This is really struggling for me, because i really love my bf and Im in the healthy realtionship but Im so tired of having this kind of thoughts, sometimes I cannot sleep because of them. Also the fact that I've never been diagnosed (I cannot go on theraphy right now unfortunately) is another trigger because I have thoughts that I dont really have OCD, I just making this up, because I cannot accept the truth. Is there someone with similar experiance? Or maybe someone who can have advice for me?
I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this
I keep thinking about every little thing my bf does or says, I keep thinking he sounds and talks weirdly, and I keep thinking he does weird things or that he’s not tough or masculine enough and whenever I see an attractive man I stay playing scenarios in my head where the attractive man has the same “flaws” my bf does to see how I would feel if another man did it, like I’m trying to make the “flaws” feel normal and ok. And whenever I’m on the phone with my bf he’ll say something in a way that seems “weird” to me and I can’t stop thinking about it and playing it over trying to recreate the inflection and tone in my head so I can see if his inflections and tones sound normal enough or manly enough or if his idiosyncrasies are odd or abnormal or unattractive. But what’s worse is now I’m not feeling the overwhelming waves of panic that I used to have when I had these thoughts. Now they’re just thoughts, but I still feel bothered by them because they focus on “flaws” that bug me. I don’t know what to do. I worry that it’s not OCD anymore. I’m not currently diagnosed either which doesn’t help. I feel like a liar, like I’m busting using ROCD as an excuse to avoid the truth.
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