Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Break up warning

I broke up with her this morning because I couldn’t feel what I was supposed to feel all I felt was anxiety. I wasn’t excited to see her anymore, I felt sick all of the time and I couldn’t think of being in the relationship anymore without being nervous and anxious.. two weeks ago I was absolutely in love with her. We talked and I held her while she cried. And for some reason I felt closer to her then, then I had all week this week. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t make it past 4 months.

Relationship OCD

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey hun, I’m gonna give u some controversial advice. I think it’s good u broke up with her, and the reason why is because you weren’t in the right mental state to take on a relationship. And I say this as someone who struggled so much with relationship ocd not too long ago. I truly do believe you liked (or even loved) your girlfriend, but relationship ocd is going to make you doubt that and this amount of insanity is not fair for you or your girlfriend . HOWEVER I mean this only if u guys just started dating. If u guys have been dating for a while and u just developed relationship ocd I would recommend practicing ERP and uncertainty while still in that relationship because u probably still live her, ur ocd is just making u doubt that. BUT if u been had OCD, it’s just not worth getting in a relationship right now. Enter a relationship healthy & whole😩…. I wish u the best❤️

Username: Brendan =]Brendan =]

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m going to say a few things: *Breaking up is a compulsion. As with any compulsion, any relief you feel will likely be temporary. In other words, I strongly recommend you go into ERP treatment because I don’t think the thoughts here are over. *These feelings will likely return in future relationships. ROCD is the problem, not her. *ROCD taking the excitement and joy out of the relationship is common. You may very well be able to get it back through ERP treatment. *It’s ultimate up to you to decide if you let her go for good or go back to her and try and work things out with you getting ERP treatment. Just know that being open and honest may help things if you want to work it out. One option is you turn it into a break instead of a breakup and you get help. I’ve been in ERP therapy with NOCD for a few months and am already making great progress. I disagree with the above post that it’s good you broke up with her if it was something that’s been long term and had good potential to last if ROCD was treated. It takes a little time but it’s very treatable. I know this is so hard and so painful. Be gentle and kind to yourself as you’re going through this mess. This board is always going to be here and we’re here to help.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Brendan =] I feel nothing after the breakup I don’t know what that means.. the anxiety is gone and the thoughts. My brain is empty. This has happened before many times I just don’t know what it means when the feelings and thoughts go away after the breakup

Username: Brendan =]Brendan =]

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous I’m not a licensed clinician and don’t want to pretend to be so I’m just going to say I have no idea how to respond to that. I’m sorry. I do think someone with the proper training and methods could be extremely valuable. Please strongly consider the ERP as it can be very life-changing. I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful.

Username: Sero82Sero82

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous It means you gave yourself some temporary relief. In my case when I did this, I began panicking like 2 minutes later and called to get back together 16 min after that. Not saying this is ur case.

Username: Brendan =]Brendan =]

Date posted: 2y ago

@Sero82 Yeah, it’s purely speculation but I can see regret down the road. I just don’t want them to miss out on their chance with someone who may be great due to stupid ROCD.

Username: mrgg11mrgg11

Date posted: 2y ago

im in this too but im not breaking up😭

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@mrgg11 It’s okay. You don’t have to. I just had to do what was best for me. That doesn’t mean it’s best for uou

Username: mrgg11mrgg11

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous i feel its best for me im not excited like before but i dont want lose her because i feel like shes the one for me and even with rocd i feel like we gonna be all life together

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@mrgg11 I understand that and I took a step back with mine in hopes that I can work on figuring out treatment options with my therapist. And she understands and is supportive

Username: mrgg11mrgg11

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous so you did that for doing erp?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@mrgg11 Not necessarily. Im just now discovering I have ROCD and Im trying to figure out how to get a diagnosis etc in order to be better for anyone im with.

Username: mrgg11mrgg11

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anonymous you got insta bro

Username: mrgg11mrgg11

Date posted: 2y ago

@mrgg11 im to scared and nobody can explain me rocd can u explain me that

Username: drnemer

Date posted: 4y ago

I am feeling super depressed. My new happy romantic relationship turnt so sour and anxiety provoking. I am afraid to break up because I am afraid to lose the happiness and love I thought I had. They say it is bad if you don’t love the person, and you just love the idea of being with that person. It is very bad. And it is very hard for me. Valentine’s Day this week, and I feel absolutely miserable. I feel like I am letting her down because I can’t hold myself together anymore. And I don’t feel confident in our future. I am scared to confront her and break it off. Every time I do, I cave in to the lust and to the fear of being alone and failing again at love

Relationship OCD

Username: Sero82

Date posted: 1y ago

I am devastated - Advice please

I went out with my bf and I felt anxious the entire time. I felt like I was out of love and critiqued every little thing: his height, his face, his skin, etc. I feel awful and I'm scared I don't love him. I don't want to not love him :( He's so fucking amazing but it feels like I genuinely don't and that made me feel so emotional and almost cry right in front of him. I don't want to break up with him, I don't want to leave him, I want to love him. I do love him. :( I love how considerate and sweet he is, how much effort he puts in, how patient he is, but after a few years I still struggling with "feeling" in love, whatever that means. I want him, forever. Why does it not feel like it?

Relationship OCD

Username: Schaune

Date posted: 40w ago

I think I wanna breakup with my Partner

I’ve been with my partner since November of 2022. In the beginning, we had great times together and I can still say that I truly care about him. However, my feelings for him started to decline a few months after we were dating but I was scared to cut things off because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. With my harm OCD, I would have intrusive thoughts about him, but I know deep inside that I really do care for him, but I’m not sure if I’m in love with him. I’m now trying to figure out if it’s my OCD that’s making me want to break up with him to stop having these intrusive thoughts, or if I genuinely want to. Has anybody else gone through this? Some advice would help!

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