- Date posted
- 2y
HOCD and intrusive feelings
What do I do when my HOCD makes me feel like I’m in denial and that I’m not romantically attracted to women, and the intrusive thoughts are there during these intrusive feelings? 😞😞😞
What do I do when my HOCD makes me feel like I’m in denial and that I’m not romantically attracted to women, and the intrusive thoughts are there during these intrusive feelings? 😞😞😞
I find the best thing to do for me is to try and refocus back on the present moment. Do your best not to add meaning, read into, or argue with the thoughts. It’s definitely easier said than done but the more you practice the easier it gets.
@mjvl100 The intrusive feelings make it feel so difficult…
I’m the same.
You can hear the thoughts but you don't have to listen to them. When i'm in these kind of situations, non-engagement responses are the best for me. When i hear these thoughts, i allow them to speak for like couple minutes, feel the fear and anxiety and after couple minutes i say "yeah, OK, i may be gay or i may not be gay. I don't know and i don't care. So, goodbye!" you don't have to %100 believe it, just say it.
@zzyyxx What about the intrusive feelings…?
Hi! I struggled with this same thing for a long time. The best treatment I found was to think “what am I missing out on by focusing on my intrusive thoughts” every time I felt compelled to perform a compulsion. For me that played out like this “Am I gay?… Hmm let me check… Wait… What am I missing out on by worrying about this… I am missing out on connecting to the present and with my girlfriend… Let’s try to do that instead!” This only worked for me once I radically accepted that I have OCD and did it every time you have an intrusive thought! It feels so real when you’re going through it! You are strong and you’ve got this!
@paule150 It’s making it feel real though… 😞😞😞
@Givenup Uncertainty always feels bad with OCD! If this strategy doesn’t work for you don’t feel obligated to push it. You will know when you find a strategy that works with your OCD theme!
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
I struggle with HOCD or SOOCD. I’m a married young woman to an amazing husband. I’ve had this since I was 16 but it only came in flair ups. However this round started in October, and it’s been really rough and I would just break down all the time. I went up on my medication and I actually noticed a difference! My thoughts were still very present but I wasn’t really paying attention to them or giving them power. HOWEVER right when I thought I was getting better, my brain started feeling and saying to myself that I just know I am bi but you want to make excuses for it like “oh it’s normal to find someone hot since we as a society have an interpretation of what that looks like” or “I see the girl as myself and that’s what ‘turns’ me on” or “well I mean that girl looks kind of like a man” and it’s it’s making me spiral. I won’t ever come out as Bi as deep in my soul I don’t feel I am. I have always wanted to be with men sexually and romantically and that has not changed but my brain is making me believe I am and I just don’t want to admit it. Please help me, what has helped you?
I’ve recovered from HOCD before and got my attraction and my usual actual identity back. I was recovered from end 2022- start 2025 until I got triggered UGHHH😭 My HOCD is REALLY trying to convince me and it’s SO annoying cause I genuinely don’t want these thoughts. I know I naturally like men and always have done so. I can’t wait for my first therapy session in two days Omg! I need your advice, not necessarily reassurance, but more advice? My HOCD is throwing random “proof” I did/ saw as a child in my face, which back then had no meaning in my life and I continued to live a perfectly heterosexual life. I’ve educated myself about arousal non concordance / child’s play, but it still doesn’t remove the HOCD. I’ve read therapists great explanations on how it’s not a sexuality issue, BUT ITS AN OCD BRAIN ISSUE. So basically I’ve been straight and i will die as straight. But my ocd is still continuing with the intrusive thoughts/flashbacks. I’ve had some moments where I haven’t done as many compulsions and had less anxiety but still had those damn thoughts and I DO NOT want those damn thoughts. I have so much proof and factual/logical explanations but HOCD is still continuing to thrive. I absolutely hate this and I feel so alone. I wish there was a reset button cause I don’t want these thoughts to happen. I want a man and I stand by that. How do y’all deal with these situations? Cause sitting with the thoughts is clearly not helping.
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