Believe they wanted to break up but didn’t want to at the sametime bc they love their partner? I keep getting this feeling in the back of my mind believing I don’t love him and I want to break up… 💔😞 I can’t stop thinking…. I am convinced I wanna break up… 💔😢
Same . I got better so much better and then it came back worse than ever I can’t sleep j can’t function . I feel dead inside because it feels so real
I understand this feeling to a T. I don’t even know my real feelings anymore or where I stand. I feel numbed out and almost impulsive. I keep also thinking I’m just in denial and am just lying to myself at this point.
I looked at an image of him looking so happy it made me happy saying I love you so much and hugged my phone..
I keep thinking I know I don’t love him but I’ve done so much damage to my brain… I.. I want it to go back to normal again!!! I keep thinking about breaking up everyday… I am becoming so unhappy.
I say I love you to him but why can’t things just go back to normal again… I keep trying to send break up text to him and let my finger hover to see if I would send it.. I had happy clarity moments throughout the damage but i have been doing good for a month and 10 days now… 💔🤯
I’ve been avoiding my friend too bc I feel like confessing saying I wanna break up when I know I don’t.. I want my happy moments badly… I miss the long hugs the laughing and loving… I am worried I am bored of him or thinking the way I do… I just… want to love him like before. When I was happy I didn’t think that way… it’s hard to believe it’s not me half the time…
Worried i don’t like his personality when all I’ve been thinking about is the negative s over the the positives
Would it be accurate to say you have a heightened sense of responsibility for this person’s feelings? A sense of “guilt” for “leading them on”? Are you convinced you “want” to break up or you need to?
@DevinZ I’m experiencing this. I’m having a back door spike where I think I’m just staying because I care about their feelings… is this typical…
@Juice1616 One common theme in OCD is a heightened sense of responsibility for the health and safety of others. For the same reason, some check that the stove is off 23 times a day. Others make sure the door is locked. “Or else”, something COULD happen to my family. And if it did it would be “my fault”. Do you see how this translates in ROCD? Remember, your partner has their own autonomy. They’re a free moral agent that has to make their own decisions about the relationship just like you do. Should you decide to leave or decide to stay, you have only some say in their choice. You’re going to stress out trying to make that choice for yourself AND your partner. Run towards the storm. Not away from it. What are you able to give? Do the work of loving your partner and you will reap if you do not tire out. 😊
@DevinZ Both… I don’t want to break up but I am convinced I do or that I need to.. I love him. I was being loving before bed last night… I don’t want my nightmare to be a reality… there are times I don’t think about his feelings… I just want my relationship back… if he wasn’t with me I would be hurt badly by this.. I don’t want to end my relationship. I am trying so hard to fight this feeling but it’s becoming too much…
@7710 ❤️ I am so sorry you’re going through this. That’s a tough place to be. Realize though that fighting to make the bad feelings leave is going to make them stronger. It’s like a Chinese finger trap, the more you fight the harder it is to get free. Lean into the feelings of anxiety with curiosity and courage. Look them in the eye and realize your relationship has nothing to do with the tricks your brain is playing on you.
I think reading these comments triggered me and I feel like it’s happening to me and I am in a nightmare . It has gotten so bad that I am so Convinced and it feels so real . I can’t function , I was so safe and happy and loved just a few days ago and now my life has turned upside down.
@NS1234 I am so sorry! It is real! The pain, that is. Your brain is on fire right now. But are the things it’s obsessing over REALITY? No. Have some compassion on yourself. Slow down. Stop fighting.
@DevinZ I am feeling better .. there is hope
@NS1234 There’s always hope 😊
I realized I’ve depended a lot on my boyfriend for comfort through my ocd, and I’m starting to feel like even before my ocd I was paying more attention to the relationship itself more than him, or the attachment: even though I remember distinct feelings of me wanting to be with him forever, and feeling so happy and complete with him, time didn’t exist, I felt like my most authentic self. So now I’m trying to create a healthy attachment and see him as his own person, which was helping at first, but now it feels as if I’m seeing that I don’t actually love him for him, the thought of moving forward in life without him breaks my heart and I don’t want to but my mind keeps telling me that I want it because of the attachment. He’s the exact type of person and partner I would want but it feels like whatever I feel is not enough.. But I DO experience moments of affection and care and admiration for him but they don’t last long..before I started making this shift in perspective even with the ocd I was still so sure and confident in moving forward with him, I felt so much like I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. But now that I’ve made this shift it feels like I’m seeing him from a whole different place. Like all those good and happy feelings I had for him are gone now and I don’t have any confidence in what I want anymore. Before I did feel confident that I wanted to be with him but now it feels like there’s this wall between him and me :( I want to be with him I know I do, because even now I still feel the desire to keep going, but I can’t see the future anymore or the confidence to keep going. I was never much of a future thinker, even in my personal life but this feels like added proof I feel like I’m alone in this like no one else has this situation and the chances for me to realize after I recover that I don’t actually love him are so much higher 💔
my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd
I feel like I shouldn’t be with my partner anymore, but I have no clear reason why. I feel sad every single day, I have a constant heaviness in my chest, I cry often, and I start arguments with him. I can’t remember the good memories. Everything feels distant, fake, or tainted. I don’t know why I love him — and all my thoughts tell me that I never truly did, that I only wanted to feel something, and now I finally see the truth. The worst part is that it all feels so real. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel guilty. I can’t feel love right now, but some part of me still wants to hold on, still wants help. I don’t want to make any decisions right now. I just want to know I’m not alone. Has anyone else gone through this?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond
