Is recovery hard

so right now my HOCD feels EXTREMELY LOUD AND STRONG, ive been trying nonstop today stating how im allowing to feel all the thoughts and feelings and let them be here for as long as they want and not figure it out, engage with it, just allowing it to be here all day long if it wants, and it has, but the EXTREME hyperfocus is there and it feels so real and feels so loud and strong that im focusing on it and trying to move on to others but cant. Ive been trying say only once that"Its just my OCD, these thoguths feelings, sensations and doubts are not me, im going to allow it to stay here as long as it can" but that doesnt work, its like as if im full of shit and i know it. ive been trying to just saying"oh well" or "cool" not caring, but im still hyperfocus on it, wtf?

I think I’m in the recovery stage as my thoughts have settled so much & I only get intrusive thoughts on occasion and get worse only when I’m anxious, but the quietness in my brain feels so weird & I feel awful saying that because all I wanted was the thoughts to stop. This is the most quiet it’s been it’s over 7 months, so to go from non stop thoughts for a long time to quietness I don’t know how to take it. Has anyone else felt like this in recovery

How can I recover and starve the HOCD. It feels so real since it uses sensations, gronials, urges, past memories etc. it’s so frickin difficult. I just want to recover and be the person I was.