Harm ocd

I am 36 years old with no history of mental illness. I had a stressful event at work about 6 months ago and slowly started getting intrusive thoughts about harming myself or my kids, but am at a point where it’s all I can think about. I was diagnosed with OCD officially this week. I’m distraught and finding it hard to cope since. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this before. I just started ERP therapy. I am hoping it helps but am terrified that it won’t. I just want my old self back! Please, if there is anyone out there who has gone through a similar situation, what helped you continue to function? Will I get to a point that I can function without being tormented by my thoughts?

I’m 28 years old and I’ve been battling with OCD since I was around 8 years old. However, I didn’t realize it was OCD until a few years ago. I’ve dealt with multiple themes of OCD that are on constant rotation. Currently, I’m struggling with real event OCD, and moral scrupulously OCD. It has made this past week extremely distressing. My husband is aware of all of my thoughts and feelings, however, that’s due to my need to “confess” virtually everything in my life. He is never stressed about the content of what I’m worrying about, but unfortunately, that serves as temporary reassurance for me, and the cycle continues. This week has been one of my HARDEST. I have been stuck in a loop over the same obsession, with barely any relief. I’m self employed, and usually the winter months are slow, so I currently have no distractions to get out of my head. I can barely eat, and I go through multiple waves of panic attacks a day. I’m starting to lose hope that I can figure this out alone. I’ve never seen professional help for my OCD, and to be honest, it terrifies me to have to explain my thoughts and feelings to a stranger. What if I never get better? I guess I’m just looking for guidance, advice, etc. I’m feeling so lost and scared.

I just quit my job today due to the crippling harm OCD that I have been having for the past couple months. I’m also a type one diabetic and so worried I won’t be able to find another job because I can’t hold it together at work. Due to the fact I lost my job, all my money is going to go to medical supplies for my diabetes. Before the harm OCD it was contamination and health OCD. I’d much rather go back to the other one than the harm one. Here is the thing, I can’t afford therapy at the moment. I know ERP is the gold standard. I read about CBT and acceptance therapy. I won’t go into detail about my harm OCD because I’m very much embarrassed and ashamed. I don’t even want these thoughts or like these thoughts. I want to run away from them so bad. I just want to love, be loved and be happy. Now without a job, no health insurance, being type one diabetic, and at I would say almost the height of this OCD, does anyone have any advice? Any words of encouragement? I cry every day about this and feel like a monster. I can’t get disability, I can’t afford health insurance without a job, and I don’t know how to get through this harm OCD. If anyone just can text me back, especially if you have dealt with a similar OCD I would appreciate it. I’m so lonely and lost about it all. I never thought I’d get into this situation. I’m staying as strong as I can but just anyone able to talk I would appreciate it. Thank you guys for reading.