Idk how to feel: I know in my own perfect world I want to be married. But my body and mind convince me otherwise. I get aroused by other men, and it is pleasurable, but deep down I wish it wasn’t there.
About arousals its happening to me lately fam
I would add, I would never “come out” because it’s not authentic to who I am. But I do feel arousal
This stuff is so convincing i came out a few times i hate this
@Sp1999 I actually have same sex attraction though. I don’t think it’s HOCD because it doesn’t cause me anxiety
@stevenuniverse So are you bi? Can you help me
@Sp1999 I have same sex attraction. But am attracted to CERTAIN women. Women who are my friends whom I find attractive. Sexual attraction develops with them when an emotional bond has been created. But I don’t lust for women how I lust for men. If that makes sense
@stevenuniverse Oh, now im worried thats me
@Sp1999 First you have to figure out if is HOCD or denial. Talk it over with a therapist
@stevenuniverse Ive been diagnosed twice on this app from two different therapist
@stevenuniverse Im 23 ,male and as far as I know I always been straight but one night my i got really high and h*rny. My gf was on her period and i went into the bathroom to do my business and i went onto google images because my phone noise didn't work and was looking at pictures of ladies and got into the feeling and didn't notice a picture I passed and noticed it felt "better" but i was damn near finished and basically checked myself with that pic and was like why does it feel better then finished but then was confused if i really loved the feeling or the actual picture
@Sp1999 What did the therapists say?
@stevenuniverse Which one
@Sp1999 Both of them. Did they say it was ocd?
@stevenuniverse Yes I was diagnosed
@stevenuniverse I was even hospitalized because of how bad I spiraled , its been almost 2 years and it feels so real
@Sp1999 Maybe you are gay. Maybe you aren’t gay. Live in the peace of uncertainty. Live in the freedom of not knowing
@Sp1999 I have had a similar experience to this. Your not alone. Many peoples hocd has started from things like this
@Myheadhurts35 Im scared , its non stop and itd made me feel like im alone 💔... I dont wamma be alone
@Myheadhurts35 Im tired of being alone
@Sp1999 Your 100% not alone. I also had an experience where I tested myself and my body responded. I was so scared, like you, and it felt even more real. I’m sorry your going through this but your 100% not alone
@Myheadhurts35 Its weird bc its like I wasnt even there for the men or nothing
@Sp1999 I know. It’s really scary I understand. But if I could give you any advice it’s, I know you probably hate to hear this. But I promise I have asked and received so so much reassurance like all the reassurance you can get and it’s got to the point where it doesn’t help me anymore and it’s horrible. I feel reassurance is okay sometimes when you feel like your about to break but please. Take it from me. You don’t want to become like me. Try and not ask for reassurance too to much. All the best
@Myheadhurts35 I know i know 😔. Thankyou
@stevenuniverse I can't do that fam. I do not want to be gay,bi,pan ect. I want nothing to do with liking a man in any way
@Sp1999 I get it bro. But just because you want cheesecake doesn’t mean you’re gonna eat it. It’s unhealthy only when it’s consumed. The desire in itself is not bad, it’s something out of our control
@stevenuniverse What do you mean bro
@stevenuniverse I dont want a dude if thats what your saying
@Sp1999 Be comforted knowing who you are. If seeing a guy brings “panic” know that’s it’s OCD. Our first instinct is going to be to try to run away from it, but exposure therapy is the best. Do you know what it is?
@stevenuniverse Yeah man its ocd , We talked before
@Sp1999 Exposure. Instead of running from it, run INTO it. David & Goliath.
@stevenuniverse I try but it feels to real so I dont go through because I dont want it
@Sp1999 I feel the same about being a priest. I try to avoid anything that has to do with it. I run from church sometimes. But I’m trying to just let that thought be a thought, and not let it affect my life and being okay with being uncomfortable
@Sp1999 Do you have discord?
@stevenuniverse I used to have discord and I feel like we are talking about different things bro
@Sp1999 I have OCD about being a priest. You have OCD about being gay. What I’m trying to say is don’t run from the thought of “I don’t want to be gay.” Rather, you have to run into it. In the same way, I have to run into my own OCD.
@stevenuniverse I just wish I knew or someone can help me know if this isnt really real and just ocd nothing more
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
Like I feel geroinals ALL DAY and it’s stuck… I think I’m bi. But this still drives me nuts.
it feels like i accepted being gay and thats part of who i am but i still feel that tension and fake attraction whenever i see a man and i feel like i could be able to have a sexual intercourse with a man even though i dont want it is it still hocd or just denial? like i am feeling okey but there is still that doubt that how can i know that im not gay if i dont get disgusted by gay things or gay personality traits and at the same time i want to feel normal again like before
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