Is this feeling permanent? Has anyone experienced?

I have contamination ocd and it gets rlly sticky bc I volunteer in a hospital. It’s confusing to try and understand what are legitimate concerns and what are ocd concerns. When i fight contamination fears as ocd, i always end up questioning if i made the right decision, or if I fought something that was actually a legitimate concern, not just ocd. And it doesn’t help that I can never quite remember the situation. Was there blood on my hand, or was it just red and irritated and my brain tricked me like it has many times before? Was that actually the one time it wasn’t ocd? Ugh it’s just so confusing. And then this feeling makes me feel guilty and like I’m the reason patients may get more sick, or like I don’t deserve a good life. Will I always feel like this? Has anyone overcome this?

Contamination OCD

K.B.

Date posted: 2y

I know exactly how you feel, I struggle with this too. No advice but know you’re not alone. It’s hard.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@K.B. Thank you. I’m really really struggling with one right now. It makes me feel terrible.

K.B.

Date posted: 2y

I know how you feel, my OCD also spirals like that, especially with vulnerable populations like babies or kids. I worry all the time that I will accidentally contaminate someone, and it will be my fault and I’m a terrible person and it goes on like that. My therapist has helped me to understand that I need to accept uncertainty in these situations. Easier said than done though.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@K.B. Ya. I’ve always been told that too but it feels so impossible to be uncertain about something that’s so important to me.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@K.B. Thank you for making me feel less alone.

K.B.

Date posted: 2y

Yes, I want to be 100% sure too. I wish for that all the time. OCD is tough, it is not your fault, and you’re facing your fears by volunteering too. That’s huge. You’re definitely not alone in this journey! You can do this.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@K.B. Thank you. I’m trying to remind myself that I’m doing my best, listening to my parents’ advice by not giving in to confession compulsions, and am reacting only how I know how to as a human being. The rest is out of my control.

K.B.

Date posted: 2y

I get so worried I’ll contaminate someone if I don’t wash my hands properly. I read people with OCD have an overinflated sense of responsibility, it helps me to know that.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@K.B. Yes. I read that too. I’m worried that I may have infected babies in the hospital I volunteer at bc once I was done volunteering I noticed a small scratch on my hand. I just left bc in my head I knew it was ocd tricking me to think I had blood all over me, even though it was just a small irritated area that probably didn’t even have blood. And now I can’t even remember if there was any blood on it at all. I feel sad and scared. What if i contaminated their linens? My parents told me it’s okay, but I just can’t seem to believe them. It definitely wasn’t dripping blood but what if there was a small amount of blood? I don’t even know anymore. I just want to protect the people around me.

iamworthy

Date posted: 2y

@iamworthy Like, do you ever feel like if u don’t do 100% of every little thing to be careful in every way, you will be considered a killer or something bc u contaminated someone else?

Sage._

Date posted: 25w

Question

Anyone else with contamination ocd have to constantly convince themselves they feel things when they touch them? Like I'm.always scared I accidently brushed or grazed things and I have to be like if I didn't feel it I didn't touch it. Also always left over soap from washing hands, always.

user2826728292

Date posted: 24w

how do you beat contamination OCD

If anyone has beaten or gotten a lot better with contamination ocd how long did it take and how did you do it? I don’t see myself getting over this theme for a long time but I’m worried for my future like getting a job , I’m scared I won’t be able to cope with bacteria in a workplace and stuff like that. Just feeling lost in recently :(

Anonymous

Date posted: 18w

Seeking advice on my contamination OCD

So I have pretty intense contamination OCD tied to Moral/Real event OCD, and I'm having a hard time with it because part of me does genuinely believe my logic checks out, and I was hoping to get some insight as to how to change the way I see it from other people who sort of get the mindset involved :). To sum it up as well as I can, I basically have a very souped-up version of the same item-event association most people have. For example, let's say you have a HORRIBLE, GOD AWFUL relationship with a person you can't even begin to think of favorably even years after the event. They had gotten you a stuffed animal for your anniversary at some point. You finally "escape" the relationship, and you throw away the stuffed animal. This is seen as a very normal and sound-of-mind action. Here's where things get tricky: For me, throwing out that stuffed animal wouldn't be enough. After all, it touched my table didn't it? And my table touched the floor right? And these things now carry that person's germs. And if I don't get rid of them, then they'll infect my future belongings. This logic isn't entirely flawed either, as even my OCD specialist said he believes in a "weaker version of what I do". How am I supposed to convince myself that what I'm believing is false when the literal psychologist confirmed that what I'm doing is just a more in-depth version of a normal experience? Ex: I have a new outfit, fresh and clean. I'm unbothered and happy, but I knick the side of a table. The table holds awful associations. I get this awful sense of dread. The clothes are now somewhat sullied, and I'll eventually have to give them away. I don't think I'm explaining this as well as I could, but I feel like those notions are there. Anyways, does anyone have any insight as to how to get my mind to genuinely believe that interacting with these things is "safe"?

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Is this feeling permanent? Has anyone experienced?

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