I don’t even think about the thoughts that much anymore, I mean I think about them but idk how to explain it but I think I’m in the backdoor spike. I’m not anxious anymore I’m just scared that my hocd is true. I’m scared I’m actually gay, I don’t analyze girls around me as much as before. I still get what if I’m attracted to her in my head sometimes but not as much. I know I’m not that way, I’ve never felt that way. I’ve never liked a girl so whyyyy?? Why am I so worried? It doesn’t make since, I still test to see if I’m gay, I do a lot of stuff online which I know I need to stop. Because it’s definitely reassurance. I’m so confused. Any advice?? Please

I would say keep yourself busy and especially in this moment sit with the anxiety and uneasiness as much as you can

Ok thank you. This is all so weird. I’m not even that upset about it anymore, and if I was gay I wouldn’t care but it just doesn’t feel right. That’s not me, but my mind won’t get it

Yeah, before my hocd hit full blown whenever I got my intrusive thoughts and got anxiety I would feel that way when they started to fade away. Means just you're accepting the thoughts and even though they may seem real you know you won't act on them and they don't represent you

You'll be just fine, everything will go back to normal :):) can I ask how long did you have before you started to feel this way?

Yeah I get those thoughts sometimes too, a lot of it’s like what if I’m really attracted to girls? Then I get anxious and upset. But I try to remember that if i was that way I would know. I might question it but everything is ok. Because like I said why does it matter? My brothers that way and he’s accepted and if I’m that way I would be accepted. I know I’m not because I don’t want to do that. It’s odd to me, that’s just not my cup of tea. What triggered this whole thing was when a bisexual girl was on my volleyball team. I was scared that she liked me, then I started to question how would I react if she like me? Then it all went downhill. I said “I wouldn’t like her back” and then OCD hit and made me think are you sure? What if I’m gay? Crazy things like that. It’s so dumb

I’m exactly where you are right now. I’ve “accepted” that it’s natural to be sexual and that if something were to happen it would be okay. it’s not that I want it to happen because I don’t but telling myself that it’s natural and okay makes me feel better? Does that make sense

Yeah that makes since. It’s just a thought and that all. It’s just confusing. Because idk it’s weird. I know I’m not that way and that’s all that matters

Thank you for that, that gives me hope! I know I’m going to be ok. I just need to keep pushing, it’s very confusing and weird but I’ll be ok

Right like I’ll just be chilling and then a thought will pop up in my head like “but what if you meet a girl and do fall for her?” And then get anxious all over again but then I remind myself that it doesn’t mean anything and that even if it does happen, I don’t have to marry her or follow through with anything, people are allowed to experiment. Although I really am not attracted to or want to do that, anything is possible. I hate it because I have no interest in it and those thoughts make me feel like I do but it’s helped loosen the grip on my ocd thoughts so they don’t take over my mind

@notfortalk it’s been about 7 months now