I don’t even think about the thoughts that much anymore, I mean I think about them but idk how to explain it but I think I’m in the backdoor spike. I’m not anxious anymore I’m just scared that my hocd is true. I’m scared I’m actually gay, I don’t analyze girls around me as much as before. I still get what if I’m attracted to her in my head sometimes but not as much. I know I’m not that way, I’ve never felt that way. I’ve never liked a girl so whyyyy?? Why am I so worried? It doesn’t make since, I still test to see if I’m gay, I do a lot of stuff online which I know I need to stop. Because it’s definitely reassurance. I’m so confused. Any advice?? Please

So looks like I’ve hit a wall I haven’t hit ever with this ocd. If you can even call it ocd. I genuinely feel confused. Idk what’s real or not. Idk what my mind or body wants. I feel so stressed out. My thoughts don’t give me anxiety anymore and sometimes it genuinely feels like I want it and I’m just hiding it. I don’t get it. I even lost attraction to this girl I was madly interested in. I don’t know what to do anymore really. I see any dude and my mind automatically starts thinking “you’re attracted to him” literally every single guy I see. I’m not even kidding. I really don’t get what’s going on with me. I haven’t been diagnosed yet because there are no ocd specialists in my area. My mom told me once she thinks she has ocd and my aunt as well. But their ocd seems more like the “traditional” type of ocd where you can actually see their compulsions. I think I struggled from Religious ocd a few years back. Also with my ex girlfriend there was a period where I struggled with ROCD I believe but got over it. Now Hocd has definitely been the worst and what makes it worse is that I actually had a gay experience but even after that I didn’t question my sexuality. I maybe would get the ocasional “you’re gay” thought but wouldn’t pay it attention and it just went away. But now it just can’t leave my head. This has been going on since February. I used to be crazy for women, don’t know what’s wrong with me. I even had sex with the girl I really like about 2 weeks ago and really enjoyed it! But now my attraction for her seemingly disappeared out of nowhere when this hocd bull starts acting up again. I’m so tired of this.

I’m constantly thinking about hocd thoughts. What if I’m gay? What if you like her? Blah blah things like that, I can’t tell if it’s ocd anymore. Like deep down I know, and some days I know all the time I’m straight. I don’t like girls, I never have. So why can’t I just get it through my head? I’m tired of it. I literally can’t tell anymore

Is it hocd or have I actually all of a sudden stopped wanting to be with a guy. I have always known I wanted to be in a relationship with a guy but ever since I got these instrusive thoughts about 3 months ago it’s only getting worse and now i dont even know who I am and if I want to date a guy or a girl. I know I don’t want to date a girl but every time I tell myself I want to date a guy I feel like somethings telling me “no you want to be with girls and you don’t have hocd you’re just in denial” Another thing that scares me is that I have never really been boy crazy and I have had small crushes on guys never on girls but every time I have thought a girl was pretty I’m like what if I thought she was attractive and I would have these crushes (they weren’t that crazy)