- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Same here ugh
- Date posted
- 6y
I used to struggle with HOCD and it just so happened I am ACTUALLY gay. When you ACTUALLY identify with non-heterosexualism, obsessive thoughts is not how it manifests. Queer ppl don’t walk around obsessing about their queerness. I know we’re not supposed to validate but as a Lgbt person I think this is a point worth considering
- Date posted
- 6y
“Am I gay or am I not, do I like thoughts abt the same sex or do I not, am I unattracted to me s.o, etc.” are not typical LGBTQ experiences. They ARE however typical OCD experiences
- Date posted
- 6y
I did yes. Around the ages of 10-16. And now I am openly queer but my sexuality has NO relation to those past HOCD thoughts. OCD is a master of doubt. It makes you doubt your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s hard to recognize what’s real sometimes. I grew up in an extremely tolerant / lenient family. My mother was catholic by proxy but never actively practiced the faith/didn’t even really believe in any of it. My father was/is openly agnostic. They couldn’t give a shit less if I was gay or not. And I knew that whole heartedly. I myself am extremely accepting and tolerant of any sexuality, race, gender identity, etc. meaning even I KNEW nothing was wrong with being gay. So the thoughts made no sense. I was suffering in my obsessions about those thoughts despite my actual feelings and opinions about gayness being the TOTAL opposite
- Date posted
- 6y
Which made me realize that the thoughts were reflective of my OCD, NOT of my actual sexuality/feelings towards sexuality
- Date posted
- 6y
I would literally walk around pretending to be homophobic and biphobic just to try and offset those thoughts. That is NOT me. That is my disease.
- Date posted
- 6y
No you don’t just become gay lol
- Date posted
- 6y
My OCD thoughts about homosexuality had nothing to do with the fact that I’m actually gay is what I’m saying
- Date posted
- 6y
The thoughts were worrisome (anxiety provoking) - the feeling of being gay was not
- Date posted
- 6y
Ok I feel like my comment is doing more harm than good, which was NOT my intention so I apologize. In MY experience, HOCD / obsessive thoughts related to being gay have NOTHING to do with your actual sexuality. That is the point I was trying to make. This seems to be really upsetting you. Try using this app’s SOS feature. It helps me a lot.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah that really worries me too. Do you mean you had sexual thoughts or did you obsess over whether or not you were gay?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
- Date posted
- 13w
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
- Date posted
- 11w
Im a straight man and sometimes I make the mistake of compulsively getting on here. It’s gotten better but I slip sometimes. I feel like I’m alone in this and I even read on some OCD page that Women are more likely to suffer from this theme than Men. That just makes me feel like I’m in denial of some sort. I feel alone and feel like my intrusive thoughts are different. I know that’s what everyone who has ocd thinks, but I can’t help shake the feeling like what if I’m lying to myself or what if I have some underlying secret. I don’t want to be gay. I find I argue with myself in my head over and over and sometimes by repeating “I don’t want to be gay, I want to be straight” I’ll end up saying the opposite and that would scare me even though I know that It happened because I’m constantly fighting with OCD. Just feeling a bit down today. I had a sexual dream about an ex girlfriend and it felt great and I’m not scared by it. I find and want to be with Women romantically til forever.
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