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Same here ugh

I used to struggle with HOCD and it just so happened I am ACTUALLY gay. When you ACTUALLY identify with non-heterosexualism, obsessive thoughts is not how it manifests. Queer ppl don’t walk around obsessing about their queerness. I know we’re not supposed to validate but as a Lgbt person I think this is a point worth considering

“Am I gay or am I not, do I like thoughts abt the same sex or do I not, am I unattracted to me s.o, etc.” are not typical LGBTQ experiences. They ARE however typical OCD experiences

I did yes. Around the ages of 10-16. And now I am openly queer but my sexuality has NO relation to those past HOCD thoughts. OCD is a master of doubt. It makes you doubt your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s hard to recognize what’s real sometimes. I grew up in an extremely tolerant / lenient family. My mother was catholic by proxy but never actively practiced the faith/didn’t even really believe in any of it. My father was/is openly agnostic. They couldn’t give a shit less if I was gay or not. And I knew that whole heartedly. I myself am extremely accepting and tolerant of any sexuality, race, gender identity, etc. meaning even I KNEW nothing was wrong with being gay. So the thoughts made no sense. I was suffering in my obsessions about those thoughts despite my actual feelings and opinions about gayness being the TOTAL opposite

Which made me realize that the thoughts were reflective of my OCD, NOT of my actual sexuality/feelings towards sexuality

I would literally walk around pretending to be homophobic and biphobic just to try and offset those thoughts. That is NOT me. That is my disease.

No you don’t just become gay lol

My OCD thoughts about homosexuality had nothing to do with the fact that I’m actually gay is what I’m saying

The thoughts were worrisome (anxiety provoking) - the feeling of being gay was not

Ok I feel like my comment is doing more harm than good, which was NOT my intention so I apologize. In MY experience, HOCD / obsessive thoughts related to being gay have NOTHING to do with your actual sexuality. That is the point I was trying to make. This seems to be really upsetting you. Try using this app’s SOS feature. It helps me a lot.

Yeah that really worries me too. Do you mean you had sexual thoughts or did you obsess over whether or not you were gay?