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Sexual Orientation OCD

Bella???

Date posted: 5y ago

Same here ugh

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

I used to struggle with HOCD and it just so happened I am ACTUALLY gay. When you ACTUALLY identify with non-heterosexualism, obsessive thoughts is not how it manifests. Queer ppl don’t walk around obsessing about their queerness. I know we’re not supposed to validate but as a Lgbt person I think this is a point worth considering

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

“Am I gay or am I not, do I like thoughts abt the same sex or do I not, am I unattracted to me s.o, etc.” are not typical LGBTQ experiences. They ARE however typical OCD experiences

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

I did yes. Around the ages of 10-16. And now I am openly queer but my sexuality has NO relation to those past HOCD thoughts. OCD is a master of doubt. It makes you doubt your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It’s hard to recognize what’s real sometimes. I grew up in an extremely tolerant / lenient family. My mother was catholic by proxy but never actively practiced the faith/didn’t even really believe in any of it. My father was/is openly agnostic. They couldn’t give a shit less if I was gay or not. And I knew that whole heartedly. I myself am extremely accepting and tolerant of any sexuality, race, gender identity, etc. meaning even I KNEW nothing was wrong with being gay. So the thoughts made no sense. I was suffering in my obsessions about those thoughts despite my actual feelings and opinions about gayness being the TOTAL opposite

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

Which made me realize that the thoughts were reflective of my OCD, NOT of my actual sexuality/feelings towards sexuality

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

I would literally walk around pretending to be homophobic and biphobic just to try and offset those thoughts. That is NOT me. That is my disease.

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

No you don’t just become gay lol

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

My OCD thoughts about homosexuality had nothing to do with the fact that I’m actually gay is what I’m saying

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

The thoughts were worrisome (anxiety provoking) - the feeling of being gay was not

Alex K.

Date posted: 5y ago

Ok I feel like my comment is doing more harm than good, which was NOT my intention so I apologize. In MY experience, HOCD / obsessive thoughts related to being gay have NOTHING to do with your actual sexuality. That is the point I was trying to make. This seems to be really upsetting you. Try using this app’s SOS feature. It helps me a lot.

Bella???

Date posted: 5y ago

Yeah that really worries me too. Do you mean you had sexual thoughts or did you obsess over whether or not you were gay?

Secretidentity

Date posted: 21w ago

Does any one ever question if their ocd isn’t ocd?

That’s kinda my question. All my thoughts feel so realistic and so now I doubt if they are ocd and if I just can’t make my mind up about something and I’m using ocd as an excuse or something idc I feel like this post is word vomit.

Elliesmith

Date posted: 13w ago

Is this a symptom of soocd

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

Mt2019

Date posted: 11w ago

Question about HOCD

Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please

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