- Date posted
- 2y
Thoughts and feelings
Thoughts came with great anxiety and panic at first but now it feels like I want it. Feel like im lying to myself, don't understand how this can happen overnight, so depressing.
Thoughts came with great anxiety and panic at first but now it feels like I want it. Feel like im lying to myself, don't understand how this can happen overnight, so depressing.
I totally feel this.. It also feel like I want it..
I don't know where your at in your OCD journey- but I will say that as a therapist I hear this a lot. Sometimes when people are getting better through ERP or medication they will say this, because the anxiety has lessened so much that it feels more real. Remember OCD is all about doubt- doubting yourself in this case- you said it feels like....feelings can be misleading- OCD inserts doubt into feelings- try and sit in the maybes. Maybe you want whatever it is, maybe you don't but you can cross that bridge when and if you ever get there. Hope this helps.
Thankyou for your reply, I had my second session with nocd therapist yesterday, mainly assessing but will be putting things into place in the upcoming weeks, I haven't done ERP yet. I have a girlfriend and a baby, so I think it's just alot of pressure on me, I thought everything was great until this started and now I don't know if I can carry on in the relationship.
Idk if this post is even worth it but it seemed like a normal day for me, called off work due to the weather so I get to just stay home and play games all day. Easy day besides dealing with the constant and unbearable battle with my intrusive thoughts/feelings. Took a shower and I just had constant thoughts, (heart palpitations are pretty constant) ended up breaking down and bawling my eyes out. I was diagnosed with HOCD and ROCD about 2 months ago and since it's just gotten worse. It feels as real as it can get and after talking to my girlfriend about the anxiety attack, it feels even more real. I have no desire or enjoyment from what comes from my brain, and at this point I'm on my knees begging the big man upstairs for my old life back, how do I go from being obsessed with women (sexually and emotionally) to pretty much doing a 180 overnight (with the obvious anxiety and worry behind it. No real desire obviously). I'm just at a loss, I've done a little ERP and it seemed to help with the brain fog but besides that, everything that it does to someone, I have. And again there's the doubt I even have OCD and I'm in straight denial. It just sucks.
Just gonna vent, this never happened to me before during my 20 years alive. Whether it is POCD or not, I have truly lost my sense of self and my innocence. Why of all things did this have to happen. Ive been experiencing more strong groinal responses and mixed feelings of arousal regarding specific thoughts. Its so odd, cause last month none of this happened, it was mainly just anxiety and mental breakdowns. Never did I think I would experience physical sensations as well. Acting on compulsions as well left me feeling absolute confusion, Ive stopped doing that but now I get the urge here and there, and Ive learned to sit with the discomfort. All this leaves me with more questions on whether I will truly get through this or not, or if people will understand my situation. On certain days I feel fine, on other days its sheer terror. I blame myself mainly for this all, It is scary as these images, causing both arousal and terror, only result in me feeling like a shell of my former self
For me it was a weird intrusive thought and after that I slowly started developing anxiety and I felt a weird thing like I was losing my attraction to girls. Then I woke up one day in complete panic cuz it felt like I had lost feelings for girls suddenly and I started searching online how to know if you’re gay if sexuality changes suddenly and I took some gay tests or sexuality tests online. Chat gpt was a big thing back then too. That was before therapy and before I knew what ocd is.Can anyone relate?
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond