Pocd

I promise you are going to be okay. It is 100% your disorder. It helps me to go through posts on here or r/ocd and read other people’s stories. If someone shared this with you, would you hate them? Would you report them? Unfortunately, real and imaginary guilt feel exactly the same. But if every day you believe you will be arrested, every day you walk free is evidence in the other corner. I struggle with the same thoughts if you want to talk more about it.

@Grenoble I really need someone to talk to i messaged a therapist and I think she ratting me out because of what all she saying.

@annoymous I’ve had the same fear after being honest with my therapist. Realistically though, there are very few conditions under which your therapist can break confidentiality. What did she say to you?

@Grenoble She said she doesn’t know the law where i am at so she wouldn’t know what going to happen.

@annoymous I understand how that sounds scary, but she is just being honest. She is ethically obligated to not lie to you, even if it would be comforting. She can’t tell you what might happen, but only because she can’t read the future.

@annoymous The situation you’re describing is not one that would allow or obligate her to break confidence. And, if she knows you have OCD, she likely knows that this is a common theme and is not going to jump to conclusions.

@Grenoble When I looked up those things when I was younger nothing popped up I am just disgusted with what I searched

@Grenoble She said if nothing popped up it is fine and i didn’t break a law. But i don’t exactly remember if I looked up anything else or not which is worrying me.

@annoymous That’s okay, most of the time what we feel is out of our control. But the fact that you are disgusted, means that you have a moral objection to that type of material. It seems like you’re latching on to this because it makes you uncomfortable, not because you want to do it again.

@Grenoble I would never do it again but I am afraid I will be arrested for it. Would i be arrested for this?

@annoymous Honestly, I really don’t think so. I struggle with something similar where if I feel extreme guilt I feel extreme punishment is warranted. This isn’t even remotely how reality works. Remember, you were 15. Police have much bigger fish to fry than a teenager googling something one time. No one has anything to gain by trying to get you arrested.

@Grenoble If they see that I am trying to get help they wouldn’t rule me as a pedophile right.

@Grenoble And I honestly don’t remember what age it was which is also scaring me i just remember being a minor

@annoymous That’s the important part. You wouldn’t be tried as if it happened when you’re an adult.

@annoymous The hard part is, OCD fears and anxiety aren’t based in reality or rational thinking. Having real answers might not stop you from being scared.

@Grenoble Maybe instead of focusing on what you’re afraid of, ask your therapist how to deal with anxiety and panic attacks in general. Ask how to learn about your triggers and the best way to approach them.

@Grenoble So they can’t try me for something I did as a teenager? I just want to have that reassurance so i can keep telling myself everything is ok bc reassurance helps me not stress.

@Grenoble What if it happened when I was 17 I honestly don’t remember how old I was wouldn’t I still be charged.

@annoymous No you can’t be a tried as an adult for something that happened when you were a minor.

I understand you’re fear, but this platform is more secure and anonymous than texting. No one knows you here and no ones here to judge.