Moment of peace

Yesterday I was with family and celebrating thanksgiving and then with my bf and somehow the ruminating stopped and then this morning On my way to work it started all over again… the drive in took my peace away and reverted to my Hit and Run OCD thoughts from Tuesday and I’ve literally been checking news outlets looked over my car a handful of times and no proof of harming anyone and like my mind is making a story at this point that doesn’t exist and I just wanna stop thinking I hurt/killer someone it’s so distressing and I’m trying not to give into compulsions but it’s like I’m catastrophicizing this thought and I think my life is over and I’m gonna go to jail when I know nothing happened…. All because I looked down to change the radio… I don’t know what is wrong with me

Harm OCD

clo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

When I was going trough my first real bad episode of ocd and not knowing what it was, I drove over a bridge and clipped my wing mirror on a post. I convinced myself that I knocked over a cyclist and managed to fling them up in the air and over the bridge. I drove home thinking I killed someone, police will come and get me. When I got back , I made my mum come in the car with me to check that I hadn’t hurt anyone or any evidence of anyone being killed etc. it really is the ocd making you doubt yourself. You cant help the thoughts so just let them be there. The more you fight them, the harder they are to go away.

Themechanger

Date posted: 2y

@clo Thank you for this, it’s scary how the brain can make something feel so real, the guilt I feel for something that isn’t real is wild, but thank you for this, I’m trying to let my mind practice not interacting with these thoughts, I had gotten good at it with all the other themes I’ve experienced but because I had never dealt with this thought before it threw me for a loop, I appreciate this :)

bre10123f

Date posted: 2y

Yes it does!

bre10123f

Date posted: 2y

I’m still looking for answers too, I don’t have a lot of the compulsions, I do some but mine is straight harm ocd

bre10123f

Date posted: 2y

My question is how do you let them be there like do you not react to them or what?

clo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@bre10123f So with my experience, a random distressing thought will enter my head. Rather that me going, Wooh that was weird, move on, I get severely anxious and the adrenaline pumps through me and I then go through the what if I was capable questions. This then becomes an obsession and I literally cant stop thinking about it. It’s in my head 24/7. Makes me feel sick, anxious, cant eat, cant sleep, makes me question if I actually am capable of such a horrible thing. To get better, I allowed myself to have those thoughts and have the anxiety but not react to it in the same way. Before, I would constantly seek reassurance or i would avoid being in my own with my kids incase my thoughts became true. Therefore, I allowed myself to be on my own with my kids and to not constantly ring my parents for reassurance. It’s Really hard at first and it takes a lot of practice and if you slip up, just get back on it. It’s really hard to try and act normal and pretend you’re okay, when inside, you’re really not!

bre10123f

Date posted: 2y

@clo Thank you for this!

clo

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@bre10123f Does it make sense?

Anonymous

Date posted: 22w

I Really Need Some Insight

I am really worried because I felt confident about my appearance today, then I found myself thrown into imagining if I did certain things like flipping my hair or just looking good around a certain coworker and they'd find it attractive. I don't like that coworker at all and I'm in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, this made me feel awful and I starting feeling disloyal again. I don't know if it's an old habit, a desire for external validation, or what. I can't tell if this was a thought pattern connected to my last post or not. All I know is that I'm really stuck right now. I feel like every time I pick myself back up, I fall right back down again, like there's ice in the road. I can't help but feel like everything I touch or everything I think about crumbles. I feel like my own mind is against me and I don't know who to trust anymore. These small OCD spirals are really messing with my work life, s*x life, everything really, and it's getting to me. I feel with every spiral that I'm getting sucked into a depression again and I don't know what's next. It doesn't matter how small the "bad" thing that "i did" was, but I feel that every little thing is building up to a point and something is going to crash down. I need help. What do I do? Right when everything around me seems to be going up, I feel like I'm being dragged down and I can't do this anymore. Please help me.

gg1701

Date posted: 19w

How do I get over this intrusive thought?

Hello, I was driving last night and i hit a bump in the road like felt like a massive pothole but the road i was driving on (i drive on it almost everyday) and i’ve convinced myself that I hit someone or something. I had my mom drive by there again about 20-30 mins later and there was nothing but she said it looked like a hole was filled by rain water. I drove by later that night and didn’t see it so I’ve convinced myself that if something happened, it was cleared out in that time. Is there anything I can do to help myself feel better.

addyourname

Date posted: 15w

Hit and run OCD

I was driving when I passed by 2 kids playing with a ball in their front yard, their ball made it to the street, I slowed down and continued my route and looked back to to make sure they’re ok and when I got home I started getting intrusive thoughts that I ran over the kid 😢

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Moment of peace

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