i don’t get it. i basically believe my fear to be true at this point. unlike other people i can’t recognize what’s the real me deep down anymore. yet when i hear girls talking about their boyfriends i feel such intense jealousy and sadness that that will never be me. if im gay why can’t i accept it. i keep trying to accept it. it shouldn’t be this hard but it is. im so so so tired
when i imagine being with men now i feel intense fear but when i imagine being with women i feel sad and uncomfortable and some slight ticklish feeling in my groin. i want the pain to go away. i wish i could be happy with me whoever me is
@Acekid128 thank you! is the fear feeling considered intrusive as well? it feels like performance anxiety x10 because i’m like “what if i don’t like it?” i even have dreams now where i kiss men and feel fear. i’m so confused
@ocdgirl123 Yes, we'll, according to what I've read and seen from others, most times your feelings won't match how you truly feel when symptoms are happening. What I'm trying to day is that if you, for example, adore dogs, and you have OCD, you will have intrusive thoughts about wanting to hurt them. When this happens, your feelings of love for dogs won't be felt because OCD in manifesting to support its narrative that you want to hurt dogs. OCD is ego-dystonic, which means it takes your core values, beliefs, and things you love dearly (hobbies, family, friends, significant other, etc.), and exploit it to make you feel and think the opposite about those things. So of you are whole-heartedly into men, your ocd will take what is a core part of you and trun it into something you don't lile, (e.g. you "I'm attracted to men" OCD: "I'm not attracted to men") This is where the feeling feel real, and it takes the form of fear, pleasure, or any emotion OCD wants to use to suit its false narrative it created. I hope I've explained it well enough for you to understand. TL;DR: OCD is making you feel fear, you are not actually into women, OCD is making you like them, it's not your authentic side of yourself. 💫✨️💖✨️💫
@Acekid128 Also here's a post I made that might help you feel at ease 😊 https://nocd.page.link/GLtwxfRpti8Z2X9aA
@Acekid128 it’s not letting me see it for whatever reason! but thank you for the explanation it made me calm down a bit <3
@ocdgirl123 Try this one https://nocd.page.link/UJCpX2RLr7SjZZYb7
@Acekid128 same thing :/ it takes me to a blank page and then makes me reopen the app and then takes me back to the blank page
@ocdgirl123 I'll find a way to make it visible!
💫✨️💖✨️💫
Copy the link and paste it into your note app on your device, then click on the link within the notes app and you'll see my post!!! Srry you have to open it that way✨️💫
I feel the same. Being with man feels so strange now and foreign. I don’t know why I liked them before… :-(