I don't even know

So i started to feel like a lesbian again and that i have to be one. I dont want to be one. I just dont. But being straight feel like a lie now. I question my whole life, my feelings and everything. The biggest indicator of this must be that i will be slowly 21 year old and ive never dated anyone and i dont really find anyone attractive and i dont even know if i truly was attracted to someone and im scared of relationships i might have trauma or have anxious avoidant attachment. Help me. I do feel lost. Really lost. I dont know who am I anymore. I feel like that i must have been gay my whole life now. I feel like an alien. I sometimes feel like 2 people are living inside of me.😞😞😞

Just tired af... Anyone else feels like everything is a lie all the time and there is no "before the OCD I was boy crazy" just the OCD since forever... or denial because of that aspect? Really struggeling with the physical aspect of SOOCD : looking at a women's body and really feeling something and getting turned on and looking at a man's and not feeling anything... I just dont understand! I asked my friends and many of them said they dont feel anything looking at a man's body as well (they're straight) but also looking at a women's doesnt feel like much. I just dont understand ughhhh

I keep wondering if I’m attracted to this kid I saw a week ago or not, it keeps happening, I can’t figure it out, what I hope is false attraction is feeling too real, I don’t wan to like the kid, I never wish to like kids, I genuinely feel like I’m just in doubt, I can’t figure it out, it feels weird, I don’t feel any guilt, shame, disgust, or panic, idk why but ik that I’m supposed to feel that, it makes me feel like I’m a real p. I barley get any negative emotion from those thoughts anymore, even when these thoughts started I didn’t feel shame or guilt, but I think I did feel worry and panic, I’m not sure anymore, I don’t remember.