- Date posted
- 2y
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Did anyone break up bc they believed the wanted to? But has very bad obsessive tendencies? Please⦠I know somewhere I still love my partner⦠I said I love you to him and I meant it but being close to him is hard.. š
Did anyone break up bc they believed the wanted to? But has very bad obsessive tendencies? Please⦠I know somewhere I still love my partner⦠I said I love you to him and I meant it but being close to him is hard.. š
Iāve gone through this and i almost ended my relationship, i asked for a break rather than a breakup because i was too scared of regretting the decision of breaking up, you should try erp and learn it really well and start doing non engagement responses to your obsessive thoughts, and avoid any compulsion at any cost, breaking up in this case is a compulsion it promises you the relief of knowing you no longer have to ālieā about your feelings to your partner or hurt them or waste your time, but as soon as you do the compulsion and give in to it, youāll only feel relief for a few hours sometimes even a few minutes, before it gets worse, so just dont do it dont take any decision regarding your relationship, and communicate with your partner about your ocd without scaring them with conversations about breaking up, youāll feel relief after erp and youāll look back at this time and realize how ocd is tricky and so irrational, i wish you the bestā¤ļøāš©¹
@soumya My partner knows⦠he found my posts on the ROCD on Reddit and now knows everything Iāve been going thru. He was shocked/terrified/confused and upset I never talked to him about it but I was scared. He is at the point where he feels worthless and doesnāt believe he can live up to my expectations. It has caused him to be very very depressed even though ever since the posts heās been 10xs more supportive. He always has been but now that he knows everything he sees my face and asks me whatās wrong. I cant answer but of being afraid to hurt him⦠or lying to him or something. My happy moments I want so badly to come back bc we have a great time together when I donāt obsess. I could cuddle and everything and sometimes I donāt feel love I just do it. I am at the point where I am going insane and I know therapy is the only true way to free myself⦠but I am afraid of that tooā¦
I saw someone on Reddit say they have ended 5 relationships because of OCD, and that each time it was never the answer and it just happened again with the next person. You are choosing to love your partner and be with him. That is all that matters.
@bablti Iāve been with him for 12 years gonna be 13 in July. I wanna fix things bc when I am semi normal I can enjoy my time with him. It got worse badly in September and has been bad ever sinceā¦
@bablti How bad was it for that person?
@bablti I tested myself by trying to send a message saying I wanna break up but there were times I felt I really should but stopped myself⦠I know everything I do is a compulsion but Iāve never felt this way about him before⦠š¢ I want my happy moments where I truly knew I love him and can be a good partner. I hate focusing on his short comings and issues⦠my obsessing made everything worse š¢
@7710 ā¤ļø I can't find the post anymore but the person said something about how it wasn't the answer, that it only gave relief for a short time and then the cycle would just repeat... the issue here is not your partner or relationship, but OCD. Are you getting therapy?
I canāt see myself with someone elseā¦
@7710 ā¤ļø I know that feeling so well.. seek therapy and i truly hope from the bottom of my heart that it helps you, the best therapy for OCD is CBT and erp and i would suggest an ocd specialist to do it with you, both of you deserve to be happy even tho idk you, best of luck to you on your journey
I know itās long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months Iād say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause itās been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasnāt communicating how I should have been when I was upset because Iāve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but Itās weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didnāt feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that Iām not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and itās like thatās the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I donāt care like I used to because I think of how he doesnāt deserve this when he does this or he shouldnāt have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? Thatās horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I canāt do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And thatās not how it used to feeel which scares me because I donāt want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause itās the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. Iām scared. Is it possible Iām just Iāve been mad and resenting how itās been cause heās been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I donāt want to stay in something where I donāt feel toward him the way I want to but I really donāt want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesnāt deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question himš trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldnāt think like this or feel like this.
Everyday I wake up and start searching for reason to breakup with my partner. I feel utterly confused by relationships and dating. Not to mention, Iām autistic and this has always been a huge struggle for me. In fact, it led me to both diagnoses of ASD and OCD. I can see there are some things I am not happy with in my current relationship and I understand that, but when does it become too much? I started having limerence over a random person because my brain just wants an out so fast. I told myself that I wouldnāt until I get proper help (medication, constant erp therapy etc). Every time I think about breaking up I start sobbing and my body vehemently rejects it. Its really confusing and disorienting for me and cant trust a damn thought in me. Iām scared that Iām just taking him along for the ride and potentially will severely fuck him up emotionally because of this. I guess thats where I can feel the OCD. My fear of being a bad person and the people around me being bad people. I dont know if I need advice because I think this may be me searching for a compulsion to do. But I just want to get this out of my system. I have severe Disney-like unrealistic expectations sometimes. I had to maladaptive daydream all the time growing up to get out of my traumatic upbringing and brain (tbh). I still do. I am aware of that and try to put myself into check. I just cant stop comparing my friends own beautiful relationships to my own. Most of them are in the āengagementā stage of their relationships. Even though itās ridiculous, all of them have worked on it for many years at this point.
I have had ocd in my relationship for a while now. When I originally met him it was like this insane spiritual soulmate feeling and we just clicked instantly and he never judged me. Iām scared cause when I picture breaking up with my boyfriend I see myself being ok and being sad but moving on which I never was able to see before doesnāt this mean that this is what would happen or I donāt know till it happens? I still canāt imagine what life would be like without him but I just feel like I have lost feelings that I never wanted to lose. plus thatās also when I just picture knowing how people move on and how Iād just have to move on without letting myself picture processing the losses of all. Iām just really scared cause I used to think of wanting other things in someone else and what it would be like but I just thought how nice it would be to have it and not actually meaning it bc every time I thought about it I got upset and now it feels diff. He knows I have ocd but I never explained the ROCD because I thought it would have offended him so every time I went through a flare up I never told and acted like I was fine and it kept happening and OCD kept getting worse and worse. Maybe thatās part of the issue cause I havenāt been feeling like myself. But this is a feeling I never wanted to feel ever with him. I have gone through the feeling of numb but not like this. And he has a lot of positives but I can only see him overall as negatives and Iāve been told thatās ocd but itās affecting how I feel. And yes there are legit actual things in the relationship that upset me but ocd has been affecting the way I look at him also. I keep being told my judgment is being impaired but this time it rly feels like not. And Iām Scared why donāt memories and things affect me like it used to doesnāt that mean I want this. Has anyone experienced this or is this the end š
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